Trying to change the script
"We strayed from the formula and we paid the price"
That's one of my favorite quotes from the movie Three Amigos. It also happens to be fitting, since "strayed from the formula" is exactly what I have been trying to do lately.
Two examples... micro and macro:
Micro - This past weekend I performed as half of Fun Grip in Tulsa, Oklahoma.,Since 2006 when we started, out of the two of us in Fun Gripthing. (the other being Swearingen), I have usually handled everything. When I say everything, I mean I set up the gigs, communicate with the folks at whatever festival/venue we're going to, see that all images and blurbs for marketing are supplies, all links to websites are accounted for, set up a place for us to stay, get directions, arrange transportation and so on. This is all on top of actually showing up and performing the long-form improv sets.
This time, as we were approached to perform at a new (i.e. opened two months ago) venue in Tulsa called The Comedy Parlor, the owner/operator contacted me. I supplied info and images and links, found the address to the place, and so on. But this time, I did not arrange a place to stay. I told the venue guy, Jason, to contact Swearingen himself. I told Swearingen to contact the guy. I wanted to get out of the way of the transportation/lodging part of the planning. Ruth and I set up a hotel on our own. By the day before we left Swearingen seemed set. He would drive up himself. He would get a room on his own. He did this without ever contacting Jason to let him know he was set. The venue guy on the other hand, had scrambled, and gone to some trouble, to set Swearingen up with a place without ever actually contacting him.
Jason assumed because neither I nor Swearingen had ever followed up that Swearingen still needed a place. He also assumed that when he spoke to me, he was speaking to both Jeff and I. And this would usually have been the case, except... I didn't want the responcibility I usually shoulder without complaint. I didn't want to be a middle man. I, mistakenly assumed, these two grown adult men would actually contact each other without going through me.
This led to miscommunication, ill-will and bad vibes all around. This affected the whole weekend, including the sub-par performances we gave on stage and a tense workshop we delivered in our Good Cop/Bad Cop way. Oh these bad vibes... Including from me, who simply didn't want to be responcible for the whole fucking thing this time. I should have just played my role, I guess. One of those, if you want it done right situations, I suppose.
I strayed from the formula and paid the price. And I'll do it again and again until I get out of the yoke of shouldering a disproportionate amount of the heavy-lifting in this particular comedy troupe. I am my own advocate. The only one I've got.
Macro - On the epic drive, on ice-covered roads, back to Dallas from Tulsa, Ruth and I discussed our plans. We are two years into our marriage and are still happy, but we also financially poorer than we were as single people, about to move yet again from a falling-apart-around-us rent house. We are tired and the daily frustrations just wear us down day by day. As we are thinking about expanding the family and what the future could hold, we realized we can't keep on as we have been doing. We are comfortable, but our struggles are unchanging. We are in no situation to buy a house (and get out of the cycle of rental hell), we are hovering between healthy and completely fat and out of shape, and worst of all, our time and energy to do the stuff we really love (travel and theatre) is traded back and forth with all the other day-to-day responcibilities, and usually the day-to-day wins out.
We have decided to stray from the formula.
We'll be looking for a smaller, cheaper place to live, even if it means roughing it back in an apartment for a year to save up some money. We'll be saving for specific things, not just vague future troubles (which is why we even have our meager savings accounts now). We have decided to be proactive instead of eternally responsive. We are our only advocates after all.
In the movie, the phrase "We strayed from the formula and we paid the price" is said in a joking manner but to indicate total failure. I think it could be a totally positive way to approach living life in a new way.
That's one of my favorite quotes from the movie Three Amigos. It also happens to be fitting, since "strayed from the formula" is exactly what I have been trying to do lately.
Two examples... micro and macro:
Micro - This past weekend I performed as half of Fun Grip in Tulsa, Oklahoma.,Since 2006 when we started, out of the two of us in Fun Gripthing. (the other being Swearingen), I have usually handled everything. When I say everything, I mean I set up the gigs, communicate with the folks at whatever festival/venue we're going to, see that all images and blurbs for marketing are supplies, all links to websites are accounted for, set up a place for us to stay, get directions, arrange transportation and so on. This is all on top of actually showing up and performing the long-form improv sets.
This time, as we were approached to perform at a new (i.e. opened two months ago) venue in Tulsa called The Comedy Parlor, the owner/operator contacted me. I supplied info and images and links, found the address to the place, and so on. But this time, I did not arrange a place to stay. I told the venue guy, Jason, to contact Swearingen himself. I told Swearingen to contact the guy. I wanted to get out of the way of the transportation/lodging part of the planning. Ruth and I set up a hotel on our own. By the day before we left Swearingen seemed set. He would drive up himself. He would get a room on his own. He did this without ever contacting Jason to let him know he was set. The venue guy on the other hand, had scrambled, and gone to some trouble, to set Swearingen up with a place without ever actually contacting him.
Jason assumed because neither I nor Swearingen had ever followed up that Swearingen still needed a place. He also assumed that when he spoke to me, he was speaking to both Jeff and I. And this would usually have been the case, except... I didn't want the responcibility I usually shoulder without complaint. I didn't want to be a middle man. I, mistakenly assumed, these two grown adult men would actually contact each other without going through me.
This led to miscommunication, ill-will and bad vibes all around. This affected the whole weekend, including the sub-par performances we gave on stage and a tense workshop we delivered in our Good Cop/Bad Cop way. Oh these bad vibes... Including from me, who simply didn't want to be responcible for the whole fucking thing this time. I should have just played my role, I guess. One of those, if you want it done right situations, I suppose.
I strayed from the formula and paid the price. And I'll do it again and again until I get out of the yoke of shouldering a disproportionate amount of the heavy-lifting in this particular comedy troupe. I am my own advocate. The only one I've got.
Macro - On the epic drive, on ice-covered roads, back to Dallas from Tulsa, Ruth and I discussed our plans. We are two years into our marriage and are still happy, but we also financially poorer than we were as single people, about to move yet again from a falling-apart-around-us rent house. We are tired and the daily frustrations just wear us down day by day. As we are thinking about expanding the family and what the future could hold, we realized we can't keep on as we have been doing. We are comfortable, but our struggles are unchanging. We are in no situation to buy a house (and get out of the cycle of rental hell), we are hovering between healthy and completely fat and out of shape, and worst of all, our time and energy to do the stuff we really love (travel and theatre) is traded back and forth with all the other day-to-day responcibilities, and usually the day-to-day wins out.
We have decided to stray from the formula.
We'll be looking for a smaller, cheaper place to live, even if it means roughing it back in an apartment for a year to save up some money. We'll be saving for specific things, not just vague future troubles (which is why we even have our meager savings accounts now). We have decided to be proactive instead of eternally responsive. We are our only advocates after all.
In the movie, the phrase "We strayed from the formula and we paid the price" is said in a joking manner but to indicate total failure. I think it could be a totally positive way to approach living life in a new way.