What if ...

[frysco]

• ... I'd never found the furry fandom?
• ... I'd never moved away from the UK to California?
• ... the company that I'd worked for first had actually put in my US permanent residency application in a more timely manner?
• ... I wasn't let go by that company in 2001?
• ... I hadn't been cheated on by someone I loved while we were at a convention?

Comments

[woelfisch]

Apparently, when you reach a certain age, the musings about what you have achieved in your life seem to be normal.

I sometimes think "how would it be having finished university, married, kids, built a house, a 'normal' job outside IT". Yeah that would be... coming to think about it... utterly boring. Even (or especially?) assuming the cliché ideal so many people dream of but never achieve however hard they try. But what have I actually achieved? Probably not that much, but looking back, wow, am I living in interesting times!

I've met so many interesting and creative people from all over the world, some I never thought I'd ever be able to talk to. Some of them I'm even calling friends now. I've found outlets for my (rather limited) creativity, I'm travelling, I was witness of historic events, I had my part in making history (though my contribution is small.) I'm living a dream I never expected to come true. And that despite all the setbacks and tragedies we are confronted with as human beings.

And I simply can't imagine living a "normal" life any more. How terrible that would be.

What I'm trying to say: it's not constructive to ask yourself "what if..." and look back on the things that didn't work out the way you planned. You've gained a lot of experience, you are living in one of the most interesting and vibrant areas of the world, you're part of a creative subculture, you're leaving your mark in this subculture with your own creativity as a creature performer. You're living the life so many others are dreaming of. Yes, it has the drawback that you are missing out on some other things. But you'll always miss out on something, nobody can live three lifes at the same time. The one you're living is amazing, though.

And happiness? Is there anyone who can say they are truly happy all the time? I don't think so. What's more important: isn't it amazing that you are where you are now? Who would've thought? You've managed to live a unique life, your very own life, that's so much more than many humans can say. I believe that's a good reason to be grateful and looking forward to where life leads you next.