(no subject)
well i just discovered that lucas created a profile on plentyoffish.com(a dating site that i am on as well as his ex girlfriend) at first i kind of cared but then i was like..."good" and then i'm thinking how is it even possible for him to date someone. he can't take care of himself. he does nothing for himself. does he really think he's gonna find someone out there like me that's even willing to put up with his shit. or someone out there like michelle who he used and abused the whole he was with her. there's no freaking way. so even if it did bother me that he was looking to start dating he'll never find someone that'll put up with that shit. and now as i'm typing this i'm getting seriously pissed off. he has actually told me in the last week that he wants to move away from maine with me(not like "with" me but along with me) is he lying? cuz if he starts dating someone there is no way in hell i would even allow our relationship to be the way that it is. if he thinks for one second that we will act the way we did when he was with michelle he's out of his fucking gourd. I want to move anyway with or without him i don't care. i get so tired of taking care of him. but i care about him so much as a friend that i can't possibly let him go. i mean his life would literally fall apart without me. He'd be like jack but worse. he'd never have any money. he wouldn't pay the bills. he wouldn't do laundry take showers wash dishes. he wouldn't live a life. maybe i'm wrong maybe he would. but he hasn't proven that to me. he has proven to me that he cannot possibly live like a normal human being. i wish i could afford this place on my own i'd make him move to another place. somewhere close so we could still hang out and be friends but far enough away that it would take effort to go over and take care of him.
anyway i have a shit ton of housework to do tomorrow that he is helping me with the computer is doing to get disconnected and cleaned and everything from the living room is going in the kitchen so that it can be cleaned and the living room clean and load after load after load of laundry needs to get done. and yes i am making lucas helping me with all of it. the computer will be taken apart so he won't be playing on it. i hate my job. i really want to find another job. but with us only have one car it's impossible. i really need a second job. i finally made payment arrangements with all the doctors i had bills with and i'm going to be paying a lot of money in bills and towards those payment arrangements. blah.
anyway i have a shit ton of housework to do tomorrow that he is helping me with the computer is doing to get disconnected and cleaned and everything from the living room is going in the kitchen so that it can be cleaned and the living room clean and load after load after load of laundry needs to get done. and yes i am making lucas helping me with all of it. the computer will be taken apart so he won't be playing on it. i hate my job. i really want to find another job. but with us only have one car it's impossible. i really need a second job. i finally made payment arrangements with all the doctors i had bills with and i'm going to be paying a lot of money in bills and towards those payment arrangements. blah.