--And The Horses Wonder Who You Are (Presented in KiffieScope!)
(After a week of horrible, sub-freezing weather and outright dangerous driving conditions, things finally improve to allow me and Moonshine to sortie out.)
ME: Sevier County!
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(We get to the Kodak Post Office...)
POST OFFICE: Sorry, no Tax forms here.
ME: Gosh darn. *sigh* On to Pigeon Forge!
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(We arrive on Householder Avenue, the location of an accounting office I've visited for years...)
(Empty space. Empty building. Nobody here.)
ME: Hmm.
MOONSHINE: You have your cell phone. Call them!
ME: Right.
(Soon...)
CELL PHONE OTHER END: Ring! Ring! Ring! *pickup noise* *muted trumptet wah wah wah wah?*
ME: Is this the accounting office?
CELL PHONE OTHER END: *muted trumptet wah wah wah. wah wah?*
ME: I'm at your old location. Where's your new one?
CELL PHONE OTHER END: *muted trumptet wah wah wah wah wah.*
ME: Oh. Thank you. I'll see you soon. (*hang up*) We're going to Wears Valley--the Walden Creek Riding Stables.
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(Through Pigeon Forge, then onto Wears Valley Road, then turn off just at the edge of Pigeon Forge City Limits onto Walden Creek Road, then into pretty countryside that tourists pay insane money for [as opposed to the ugly countryside I live among].)
MOONSHINE: Vroom vroom vroom!
ME: Still lots of snow and ice up here.
MOONSHINE: I'm okay. Vroom!
(We get to the Stables parking lot, which is covered in muddy slush.)
ME: Nuts.
MOONSHINE: Just get me to that end there and I'll be fine.
ME: Okay...
MOONSHINE: Vroom. *Park* See? No worries.
ME: Whew. *Get out, look around at the ranch buildings and Western kitsch in overplus* This place smells like horse.
(I go inside and find the offices.)
ME: I'm here for the date books.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh. Sorry sir. The boss didn't have any made this year. This change of address was pretty sudden and all that.
ME: (Internal *sigh*) That's okay. Any 1040EZ forms?
RECEPTIONIST: We do all that on computer now. Get yourself TurboTax.
(Other chatter excised for the good of the story. Soon...)
ME: Okay Moonshine, back to Pigeon Forge proper.
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(Back at "civilization"...)
ME: I wonder where this street goes...
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
ME: Oops. This is the Water Works. Can't go this way. What about this other block?
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
SIGN: Public Library!
ME: Here we go!
MOONSHINE: Nice cosy parking place. *Stop & Park!* Ah!
(I go inside.)
TAX FORMS: Take me home! Ink me! Me don't bite!
ME: (*scarfs some up*)
(Back to the car...)
ME: Back to Rather Manor!
MOONSHINE: In time for tea! Vroom! Promise me you'll wash me?
ME: Maybe after Tuesday. Gotta go to Knoxville on Tuesday.
MOONSHINE: Yay!
ME: Sevier County!
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(We get to the Kodak Post Office...)
POST OFFICE: Sorry, no Tax forms here.
ME: Gosh darn. *sigh* On to Pigeon Forge!
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(We arrive on Householder Avenue, the location of an accounting office I've visited for years...)
(Empty space. Empty building. Nobody here.)
ME: Hmm.
MOONSHINE: You have your cell phone. Call them!
ME: Right.
(Soon...)
CELL PHONE OTHER END: Ring! Ring! Ring! *pickup noise* *muted trumptet wah wah wah wah?*
ME: Is this the accounting office?
CELL PHONE OTHER END: *muted trumptet wah wah wah. wah wah?*
ME: I'm at your old location. Where's your new one?
CELL PHONE OTHER END: *muted trumptet wah wah wah wah wah.*
ME: Oh. Thank you. I'll see you soon. (*hang up*) We're going to Wears Valley--the Walden Creek Riding Stables.
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(Through Pigeon Forge, then onto Wears Valley Road, then turn off just at the edge of Pigeon Forge City Limits onto Walden Creek Road, then into pretty countryside that tourists pay insane money for [as opposed to the ugly countryside I live among].)
MOONSHINE: Vroom vroom vroom!
ME: Still lots of snow and ice up here.
MOONSHINE: I'm okay. Vroom!
(We get to the Stables parking lot, which is covered in muddy slush.)
ME: Nuts.
MOONSHINE: Just get me to that end there and I'll be fine.
ME: Okay...
MOONSHINE: Vroom. *Park* See? No worries.
ME: Whew. *Get out, look around at the ranch buildings and Western kitsch in overplus* This place smells like horse.
(I go inside and find the offices.)
ME: I'm here for the date books.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh. Sorry sir. The boss didn't have any made this year. This change of address was pretty sudden and all that.
ME: (Internal *sigh*) That's okay. Any 1040EZ forms?
RECEPTIONIST: We do all that on computer now. Get yourself TurboTax.
(Other chatter excised for the good of the story. Soon...)
ME: Okay Moonshine, back to Pigeon Forge proper.
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
(Back at "civilization"...)
ME: I wonder where this street goes...
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
ME: Oops. This is the Water Works. Can't go this way. What about this other block?
MOONSHINE: Adventure! Yay! Vroom!
SIGN: Public Library!
ME: Here we go!
MOONSHINE: Nice cosy parking place. *Stop & Park!* Ah!
(I go inside.)
TAX FORMS: Take me home! Ink me! Me don't bite!
ME: (*scarfs some up*)
(Back to the car...)
ME: Back to Rather Manor!
MOONSHINE: In time for tea! Vroom! Promise me you'll wash me?
ME: Maybe after Tuesday. Gotta go to Knoxville on Tuesday.
MOONSHINE: Yay!