hmph.
i'm cranky. i'm having an angsty moment.
oh well... back to watching the episode of futurama that makes me cry
because it makes me wonder if i'll EVER have a boy that loves me as much as fry loves leela to sit by my hospital bed while i'm unconscious for like days.
Every move you made and word you said
That I allowed to be trapped inside my head
Now haunts my thoughts like a broken dream
Things clearly weren’t as they seemed
So now is there any place where I can turn?
To escape from these thoughts feelings that burn
To protect my heart from the pain you’ve caused
To keep from wandering around, confused and lost
Opening up my heart all those times
I’ve never allowed myself to fully try
I always held at least a small part back
No commitment always meant no attack
You’re the first I actually let myself trust
You said you really liked me, you said it so you must
And now I don’t know what to think
I sit and allow my heart to sink
Do you like me still or no?
Should I hang on or let it go?
I have so many questions that haven’t been answered
I’m intimidated by this complacency you seem to have mastered
If you liked me so much why did you stop?
I gave you my heart and you let it drop
Why am I not good enough for you to try?
Why did you turn this into a lie?
But what seems to have bothered me most of all
More than your absence, above the fall
Is that you don’t really seem to care
And well, to me that’s just not fair
You walk around day to day
You seem to act like you’re okay
Were you really not phased when you ended it?
Is it I alone who fell into this pit?
And now I’m stuck hurt and alone
Your complete opinion still unknown
I can’t seem to shake those feelings you gave me
And as much as I can’t, I need to let it be
Eventually the hurt will go away
And I guess I’ll see brighter days
But for now the fact that you talk so normally
I’m so distressed, somebody save me
I feel so lost and I feel so hurt
My heart and my feelings rubbed in the dirt
I find myself thinking all the time
I guess I’m not even safe from my own mind
I find myself becoming an observer of conversation
Answering questions tends to be my only contribution
I hate myself for letting you get to me
My heart and my mind tend to disagree
My heart longs to still hold on
My mind knows I have to be strong
My heart wants to stay close to you
My mind aware that’s the worst thing to do
At least our friendship is still in tact
I’d be more upset if that weren’t the fact
But still I simply cannot see
How I let this happen to me
So now I guess I’ve learned my lesson
When someone says one thing, they’ve failed to mention
They can change their mind at a second’s drop
Halt all momentum, let everything stop
What am I taking away from this whole thing?
Think hard before putting your all into a fling?
There’s just one thing from all this that dominates
What changed that made me not worth the wait?
-me
oh well... back to watching the episode of futurama that makes me cry
because it makes me wonder if i'll EVER have a boy that loves me as much as fry loves leela to sit by my hospital bed while i'm unconscious for like days.
Every move you made and word you said
That I allowed to be trapped inside my head
Now haunts my thoughts like a broken dream
Things clearly weren’t as they seemed
So now is there any place where I can turn?
To escape from these thoughts feelings that burn
To protect my heart from the pain you’ve caused
To keep from wandering around, confused and lost
Opening up my heart all those times
I’ve never allowed myself to fully try
I always held at least a small part back
No commitment always meant no attack
You’re the first I actually let myself trust
You said you really liked me, you said it so you must
And now I don’t know what to think
I sit and allow my heart to sink
Do you like me still or no?
Should I hang on or let it go?
I have so many questions that haven’t been answered
I’m intimidated by this complacency you seem to have mastered
If you liked me so much why did you stop?
I gave you my heart and you let it drop
Why am I not good enough for you to try?
Why did you turn this into a lie?
But what seems to have bothered me most of all
More than your absence, above the fall
Is that you don’t really seem to care
And well, to me that’s just not fair
You walk around day to day
You seem to act like you’re okay
Were you really not phased when you ended it?
Is it I alone who fell into this pit?
And now I’m stuck hurt and alone
Your complete opinion still unknown
I can’t seem to shake those feelings you gave me
And as much as I can’t, I need to let it be
Eventually the hurt will go away
And I guess I’ll see brighter days
But for now the fact that you talk so normally
I’m so distressed, somebody save me
I feel so lost and I feel so hurt
My heart and my feelings rubbed in the dirt
I find myself thinking all the time
I guess I’m not even safe from my own mind
I find myself becoming an observer of conversation
Answering questions tends to be my only contribution
I hate myself for letting you get to me
My heart and my mind tend to disagree
My heart longs to still hold on
My mind knows I have to be strong
My heart wants to stay close to you
My mind aware that’s the worst thing to do
At least our friendship is still in tact
I’d be more upset if that weren’t the fact
But still I simply cannot see
How I let this happen to me
So now I guess I’ve learned my lesson
When someone says one thing, they’ve failed to mention
They can change their mind at a second’s drop
Halt all momentum, let everything stop
What am I taking away from this whole thing?
Think hard before putting your all into a fling?
There’s just one thing from all this that dominates
What changed that made me not worth the wait?
-me