Where to start...
Yeah, that about says it all. I havent updated in a while, and once again my most recent post was a bunch of cryptic moderately pussy-ish bullshit. Today's post -I promise- will be of a moderate length. We'll start with a general rundown of my past few weeks and what's pissing me off -because there's ALWAYS something doing that, you guys must've figured that one out by now-, then we'll jump into my thoughts on the MLB Congress hearings, the woman in Florida with the feeding tube , and maybe we'll touch on a few other things too. Welp... here goes.
For the past few weeks I've been "seeing" (seeing as in "going places with" and "having sex with") Amanda. While this is all fun and good, and about 50% of what I want, several facts remain that vex me:
She has a boyfriend.
She wont dump this stupid fag for me.
She wont officially be mine again.
Now I'm sure most of my male friends are going "Dude, what's the problem? Sex and companionship without commitment? It's a dream come true!" and all of my female friends are going "Ew she's a skank and you're a horrible person!". Well. Here's the thing. I want a relationship. Sex is great and all, but fuck, thats not what's important. What's important is having someone you can trust and love and be loved by. Amanda claims she loves me. I say bullshit, you cant love two people like that. Then she says no when I ask if she'll dump this loser she's going with for me. That further enforces the idea in my mind that she's full of shit when she says she loves me, and enforces the idea that I'm a fucking back burner boyfriend for her; someone to fuck when her loser boyfriend isnt around. And that pisses me off.
That pisses me off almost as bad as Heather, who lied to me about multiple things. Who let me make a total ass of myself for her before deciding it was time to tell me the truth. Who described me as what she wanted, then told me she didnt want me because "girls are dumb" and "she's dumb". FUCK that.
That pisses me off almost as bad as Melissa, who let me get my hopes up, and let me hurt myself for her, and let me make a fool of myself. Who led me on, and stayed with perhaps the biggest fucking loser ever, over me. Who claimed to care but refused to be there for me when I needed her. FUCK that.
I think in general what I'm trying to say, is that I'm fucking tired of women and their bullshit. I'm tired of being "the nice guy" who gets fuckign stepped on all the time. I'm tired of being the "good friend". I'm tired of being everything fucking women claim to want, but NOT, because I'm not fucking eye candy and a major asshole (all the time). I am tired of Amanda using me for her needs and tossing my fucking feelings aside. I have come to the realization that I can no longer be the "nice guy". I am tired of treating women with more respect than I use on myself. I am tired of doing everything I can in my power to make them happy. I am fucking tired of everything.
If this is what I'm going to get from them, then I'm better off alone.
Meh... other things that I've done this week (other than just alienate 75% of my female friends and make several people hate me even more)... I got my car's ABS fixed. $350. Ugh. I've been working on a shitload of Gundam models... In the past month or so I've made two different Zaku IIs, the Chaos Gundam from SEED: Destiny, the Buster Gundam from SEED, I'm working on a Hi-Zack and an EZ8, and still have a 1/60 Zaku II MSV to do. Thats alot of damn model building. It's whats keeping me sane in my lack of companionship. That and GunBound. I've been playing GunBound like woah. My avatar has like a +36 popularity rating, which is pretty damn good considering how low of a level I relatively am.
Completely jumping to another topic, the other day my cat and my dog had a run in with a very angry racoon. The damn thing chased my cat, then the dog went after it and it started chasing the dog. So then dad and I tried to hunt it down and kill it so we could get it tested for rabies. Couldnt get it though. Makes me slightly paranoid, especially since the cats havent had rabies shots in like 5 or 6 years.
Motorola/Nextel sent me a free data cable for my cellphone. Mwuaha, those idiots. Now I can load my own ringtones/games/etc onto my phone for free, instead of being charged $2-5$ by their Arab Phone-Nazis in the mall. Well, atleast... I could if I had the damn software for it. Do you know how hard it is to find Loaders for an i730? It's nigh-fucking impossible.
Anyhow, onto my whole take on the MLB Congress hearings. Bjolamus, do we really fucking need to waste out tax payer's time and money on this shit? NO! There's a simple solution to this: Drug tests before or after each game! Who fucking cares what the "Player's Union" says! STEROIDS ARE ILLEGAL. DRUGS ARE ILLEGAL. IF THEY ARE BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW IN SUCH A WAY THEN THEY SHOULD BE PENALIZED IN SOME WAY. Thats the best way to ensure they DONT do it! It's good fucking incentive! And if they dont like it and want to go on strike? FINE! Fuck em! So we dont have baseball for a while, or a bunch of minor leaguers get the chance to play. No skin off my ass. I really dont think people should be making such a huge fucking deal out of a GAME. A GOD DAMN GAME! These people shouldnt be getting millions of dollars to be playing a game in the first place. Anyhow... back on topic... this REALLY is not something we should have to waste our Congress' time and money on. And hell, if some stupid teenagers take the steroids "BCUZ MY FAAAVVORITZ PLAYUR DUS TWOO!!!111!!" and then goes and offs themself because of post-'roid-rage-depression? Good! Thats what they get for being stupid, having a stupid role model, and doing the fucking frugs to begin with. Plus they're a fucking healthy example for other people of what NOT to do.
This girl in Florida. The one with the feeding tube that's partially brain dead. Well. Listening to the story for the past few days, I'd made up my mind: The poor woman is not LIVING like they say she is. She's being TORTURED. She's SUFFERING. I dont care if shes not in pain, but being aware of everything thats going on around you but not being able to communicate or interact with anyone/thing? That's fucking TORTURE. That's SUFFERING. "Living" like that for 15 years... I couldnt imagine how horrible that'd be. So I supported her husband's decision to let her die. Not the way they propose though. Letting her starve? Now THAT is almost as bad as "living" the way she is. I believe the answer in the situation would be euthanas(z?)ia. I believed she should not have to suffer through this nightmare anymore.
HOWEVER...
Listening to Mark Levin, I found out several things that I was NOT aware of in the beginning. HOW did she come to be in this state? One night she "mysteriously" collapsed. It is suspected that her husband tried to strangle her, and her heart stopped and air to her brain was cut off. Hm. Suspicious sounding. To further support this theory is the fact that for ten years her husband has been living with another woman, with whom he has two children... yet he refuses to divorce his wife or relinquish his right to decide whether she lives or dies to her parents. Now, I'm going to say if he's so deep in a relationship with this other woman he doesnt really give a shit about his wife anymore. So... why wouldnt he just divorce her or give up this right to people that care? It says to me that there's a reason he wants her dead. A reason why he wants her to never be rehabilitated. Which brings up another important fact that's glazed over alot. Over the past 15 years, TEN doctors have had plans that could lead to an eventual 75-100% recovery for her. Yet he never let them go along with it.
And suddenly my opinion started to change.
And then my father raised an important question: Just how is it that someone has the right to say whether she lives or dies? How should her husband be able to say whether she should live or die? How should her parents be able to say whether she should live or die? I mean think of it this way; would you want YOUR parents deciding if you were going to live or die in the same situation? And how does some local nameless bum-fuck state judge in Florida decide whether she lives or dies? Especially when the United States Congress, House of Representatives, AND Senate all say "YOU CANT DECIDE THAT!"? Whose decision is it other than her own? Unless she has a living will or a DNR, it should be a natural assumption that she'd want to live. Essentially it is no one but her decision. And thats the way it should be.
And thus my opinion was changed.
And now I'm sure all the libs out there are going to try and say "Oh, it should be an individual's choice to live or die eh? Well how can you support the DEATH PENALTY THEN HUH, HYPOCRITE!?!" Well FUCKING DUH. The people that are charged with the death penalty are usually those who have taken the choice of life from another. And thus they should be dealt with in a likewise and thorough manner. But this isnt what this is about. And dont even fucking bring abortion into this either. I've already covered that a LONG time ago.
All of this brings up something else. Something that makes me laugh, and makes me sick at the same time. Why the fuck is it "illegal" to kill yourself? Why do people that attempt suicide end up getting locked up? Why do people that help others do what they WANT to do to THEMSELVES get locked up? Like Dr. Kervorkian. The people he helped kill all suffered from terminal illnesses. They all wanted to die. They all wanted to end their lives, and end their suffering, their torment. And for helping them he rots in prison. I think it should be a person's choice to kill themselves. Some people may say its the coward's way out, but hell. Some people just cant cope. Some people cant take it. And yes, some people are cowards. But its their life. Its their choice. Its not like murder or abortion where it's someone else's life they'd be taking. Its their own. And we should support these people in their wishes.
And since I've now thoroughly offended alot of people, and hopefully at the same time made alot of people think, my job here is done.
This is Ferris, signing off.
Goodnight.