(no subject)
Its looking exceedingly likely that tomorrow will be the last class period lecture I ever sit through...
Facebook has allowed me to bear witness to a number of peers experiencing this event in the past two years, and I am lead to believe that not many people feel profoundly sad when they realize this. I do though.
I'm not saying leaving will be a choice I regret. I am quite certain that I will be more happy and successful on the otherside of the ivory tower walls. But learning is important to me. It is the only choice I ever make without doubting. In fact, the reason I'm leaving in the first place is that the learning about physics came to a sudden near-stop and all the satisfaction of a hard-fought 12 hour work day was stolen from me. I like being given knowledge, provided time and opportunity to think. I recognize now that only classes will ever provide this; even a career with extensive and ever changing learning demands will be self-guided, hands on, and as-needed learning. I just can't stay in class forever, which is unfortunate, because I would.
So I'm in mourning this week as I study for my final finals (which I am less sorry to see end). My formal education was a good one. We only met about three years ago, actually. My education (ed, I called her, though she never liked it) was blunt when I needed to face being wrong, but overall, approximately (3.6/4.0x100)% of the time, she was warm and affirming. She might never have been gentle, but she taught me that you can't judge a book by its content: Education was all about learning to think and, by the end, she convinced me that it didn't matter what about.
I thought I had years left with ed. They warned us the degree was terminal, that eventually we'd part ways, but they said she and I still had time for countless learning experiences (We even started to get into thought experimentation by the end, and I loved when she used electronic resources on me - I know, pretty kinky). We were going to get an office together, just like in the movies, with a window over the quad and an external monitor. Oh how we used to fight over what operating system we'd use! The hardest of all to accept, though, is that she and I will never do together what every scholar and education desire. We'll never have the chance to make and raise a beautiful, new, infant education together; a partner for some awkward kid scowling at how loud the bar music is, like ed was for me. Ed's time came much sooner than anyone expected, but I can't complain. I learned how to think, and I think that ed thought that it's the thought that counts. Better to have learned and lost than never to have learned at all.
Facebook has allowed me to bear witness to a number of peers experiencing this event in the past two years, and I am lead to believe that not many people feel profoundly sad when they realize this. I do though.
I'm not saying leaving will be a choice I regret. I am quite certain that I will be more happy and successful on the otherside of the ivory tower walls. But learning is important to me. It is the only choice I ever make without doubting. In fact, the reason I'm leaving in the first place is that the learning about physics came to a sudden near-stop and all the satisfaction of a hard-fought 12 hour work day was stolen from me. I like being given knowledge, provided time and opportunity to think. I recognize now that only classes will ever provide this; even a career with extensive and ever changing learning demands will be self-guided, hands on, and as-needed learning. I just can't stay in class forever, which is unfortunate, because I would.
So I'm in mourning this week as I study for my final finals (which I am less sorry to see end). My formal education was a good one. We only met about three years ago, actually. My education (ed, I called her, though she never liked it) was blunt when I needed to face being wrong, but overall, approximately (3.6/4.0x100)% of the time, she was warm and affirming. She might never have been gentle, but she taught me that you can't judge a book by its content: Education was all about learning to think and, by the end, she convinced me that it didn't matter what about.
I thought I had years left with ed. They warned us the degree was terminal, that eventually we'd part ways, but they said she and I still had time for countless learning experiences (We even started to get into thought experimentation by the end, and I loved when she used electronic resources on me - I know, pretty kinky). We were going to get an office together, just like in the movies, with a window over the quad and an external monitor. Oh how we used to fight over what operating system we'd use! The hardest of all to accept, though, is that she and I will never do together what every scholar and education desire. We'll never have the chance to make and raise a beautiful, new, infant education together; a partner for some awkward kid scowling at how loud the bar music is, like ed was for me. Ed's time came much sooner than anyone expected, but I can't complain. I learned how to think, and I think that ed thought that it's the thought that counts. Better to have learned and lost than never to have learned at all.