(no subject)
I'm thankful that my family no longer acts like they are strangers to one another. I don't know if it was my brother dying or something else, but until this past year it has always felt like we all were just pretending to know one another. It's good that so much of that has abated.
I'm thankful to be finding out how much I want my brothers to be my friends too, as well as surprised at how extremely parallel so many aspects of our lives have been. We've all done different things, but our intellectual interests, insights, and goals are strangely similar. Without ever being close enough to encourage one another, All of us have become Leary/Huxely/Watt self discovery disciples. The incredibly similar conclusions Griffin and I discussed getting from turning on are almost eerie.
I'm thankful that Connor is taking his medicine again, and hasn't killed himself.
I'm thankful that a year ago I started taking mine. And I'm thankful that, somehow, despite how many ways we are the same, I got the easy load. He and I have all the same troubles, but every negative manifestation has somehow been muted in me. He carries a load that might as well be mine, and it is cruel that he hurts and fights while I rejoice in liberating myself from nasty year-long descent into crazy and then up and out to freedom for the first true time in my life.
I'm thankful for that liberty though, and to have been raised strong enough to be able to be looking absolute uncertainty in the eye and not balk.