thoughts and ramblings
skyped with noel yesterday...as usual, i tend to think alot after our conversations lol
she mentioned that one of her friends is really passionate about accounting, and that she can really see God working in that field. that friend's in one of the big 4, so basically she's on that road that i never managed to get on.
sometimes when i think about it, i feel like a failure...as an acctg grad, i was not involved enough during my university career. and maybe my dislike for this field was because i never managed to get over myself and get into that whole business world, networking and climbing up that ladder. maybe if i had tried alot harder i would've been in there right now, gotten a job with the firms and everything. but instead i was rejected by all the firms i even have interviews with and have to resort to this kind of acctg work...which is probably not the best example of what an acctg job is like.
so maybe i did make my decision to switch fields based on a biased pointview...maybe it's all because i never really tried hard enough.
i don't know...
am i justifying my switch by saying that it's all coz of God? it's not that im not happy about switching, i truly am happy, but i just wonder if it's really because of my laziness. did i really try?
but you know what, i really don't think it suits my personality...i cant force myself enough to be all businessy and networky...heck i cant even socialize properly for one!
which led me thinking about that again. i wonder if i'm not able to socialize because of the nature of my work? like i've been couped up so long that i cant even talk to ppl? or did i withdraw so much into my shell once more? it's been so hard lately just to get to know and talk to ppl, i feel like i have no EQ anymore...even at the camp it was like, loner's world. not that i mind because maybe im just tired of it i dont even try. but i cant do that, i NEED to try. i need to get out of my comfort zone and stop waiting for ppl to talk to me because they wont. urgh i dont know. i'm not like one of those ppl who already have a group of friends that they belong in so they're like whatever...coz i dont even have that.
close friends? whats that right?
who knows whats gonna happen after effie moves to hk. not that right now we're always together, we cant hang out without david being there anyways. but...i dont know. maybe my reliance on her might be more than i expect...esp in edmonton. japan was a total different story...but i think edmonton's gonna be kinda tough. God it's been a long time since singapore...when are You going to release me from this? am i ever going to have that group of friends? but maybe You know whats gonna happen if that does happen to me...maybe i'll fall away from You again...i need to have faith in You.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
she mentioned that one of her friends is really passionate about accounting, and that she can really see God working in that field. that friend's in one of the big 4, so basically she's on that road that i never managed to get on.
sometimes when i think about it, i feel like a failure...as an acctg grad, i was not involved enough during my university career. and maybe my dislike for this field was because i never managed to get over myself and get into that whole business world, networking and climbing up that ladder. maybe if i had tried alot harder i would've been in there right now, gotten a job with the firms and everything. but instead i was rejected by all the firms i even have interviews with and have to resort to this kind of acctg work...which is probably not the best example of what an acctg job is like.
so maybe i did make my decision to switch fields based on a biased pointview...maybe it's all because i never really tried hard enough.
i don't know...
am i justifying my switch by saying that it's all coz of God? it's not that im not happy about switching, i truly am happy, but i just wonder if it's really because of my laziness. did i really try?
but you know what, i really don't think it suits my personality...i cant force myself enough to be all businessy and networky...heck i cant even socialize properly for one!
which led me thinking about that again. i wonder if i'm not able to socialize because of the nature of my work? like i've been couped up so long that i cant even talk to ppl? or did i withdraw so much into my shell once more? it's been so hard lately just to get to know and talk to ppl, i feel like i have no EQ anymore...even at the camp it was like, loner's world. not that i mind because maybe im just tired of it i dont even try. but i cant do that, i NEED to try. i need to get out of my comfort zone and stop waiting for ppl to talk to me because they wont. urgh i dont know. i'm not like one of those ppl who already have a group of friends that they belong in so they're like whatever...coz i dont even have that.
close friends? whats that right?
who knows whats gonna happen after effie moves to hk. not that right now we're always together, we cant hang out without david being there anyways. but...i dont know. maybe my reliance on her might be more than i expect...esp in edmonton. japan was a total different story...but i think edmonton's gonna be kinda tough. God it's been a long time since singapore...when are You going to release me from this? am i ever going to have that group of friends? but maybe You know whats gonna happen if that does happen to me...maybe i'll fall away from You again...i need to have faith in You.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28