新年快楽!!!
happy chinese new year!!!
oh chinese new year hahaha. every year my family neglects chinese new year (despite being so...chinese LOL!) its funny coz i was talking about it to my sister yesterday and she's like, you really want a chinese new year dinner dont you? and i was kinda taken aback, coz i never thought of it that way...but i guess there is probably this part of me that've always craved for a the warmth of a large family. to have a big extended family, a community that knew me since i was young, watch me grow up, know me well etc...something that i never got because my family moved around so much. of coz, we also got to avoid all the drama that comes with big families, (which btw, i DO have, its just that i never lived with them) and which i guess is a good thing! but yes...everytime it comes to days when big family gatherings and dinners are highly advertised and practically defined as a must by society, i have to admit that i do feel like i sort of miss out.
yet after i thought about all that stuff yesterday, i heard the voice of God telling me that the family gatherings and banquets that i'll have in heaven far surpasses all these earthly ones that i've missed!!!
yes, the big Family that i do have, the Family that watched me grow up, the Family that loves me so much that They've counted the hairs on my head, is here with me all the time! and when i get to heaven, i'll be in for a feast!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!! :D and i'll have all the Family warmth and love that i feel like i missed out on, because God's family is my family and the happiness i'll get from that will be thousandsfold! its a promise that i'll definitely be clinging on to :)
anyways so that was chinese new year :) another thing that i wanted to blog about, was just something that God's been speaking to me about lately. well at least in this area of my life...and i know for sure He's speaking to me coz i've been reading about it in the Word, books, blogs and even heard about it in the sermon today! (well not directly...but something i derived from it) and this area is loving others.
long story short, i've been coming to the realization again that i can't do it, and that i wasnt able to do things with the pure motives of loving others. for example, even though i've been helping out at C4C alot lately, i dont know know what my real motives are...i liked to think of it as i just wanted to help, and i'd dare say that that IS a big element of it...but if i search deep within myself, i'd probably say it was also for recognition, for acceptance, for the sake of getting to know the other C4C ppl better...not love.
and then i was just praying last night for God to change me, to help me love others without prejudice and judgement, because so often that's just what i do. i love ppl whom i want to love, with whom i want to become better friends with, and then i turn around neglect and develop negative attitudes towards ppl whom i am not interested in or feel like have done something against me. but thats not what Jesus told us to do...as He said,
"But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them...
But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil."
Luke 6:32 and 35
so if we dont do that, how will ppl know that we're different? if all we do is do good things that even sinners does, how can they tell that we have the hope of God within us and that we're children of God? and i was humbled this morning, as i went to church, feeling all full of the spirit because of the things i read the night before and thinking that i can do it, God gave me two instances when confronted with, i fell short immediately and acted as non-christiany as anyone could define that. the ppl involved themselves might not realize that, because often times i never show it outwardly, but i know my vicious thoughts and so does God. and i felt really bad about the way i reacted and once again got reminded of how imperfect i am...
then the sermon came. the parable of the mustard seed (Luke 13:18-19) and its reference to the church and its impurities and imperfectness (re: the birds that dwelled in it). and WE are the church...WE are the ones with impurities that God has to refine, and its only through our inequities that God's grace can fill us and work within us. it is by accepting the fact that we can't do it by ourselves and we need God, that only through Him that we can love others unconditionally.
"...The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground,
and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how.
For the earth yields crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head."
Mark 4:26-28
the kingdom of God is in us, and it WILL grow. we WILL display the qualities of God, namely, love.
amen :)
oh chinese new year hahaha. every year my family neglects chinese new year (despite being so...chinese LOL!) its funny coz i was talking about it to my sister yesterday and she's like, you really want a chinese new year dinner dont you? and i was kinda taken aback, coz i never thought of it that way...but i guess there is probably this part of me that've always craved for a the warmth of a large family. to have a big extended family, a community that knew me since i was young, watch me grow up, know me well etc...something that i never got because my family moved around so much. of coz, we also got to avoid all the drama that comes with big families, (which btw, i DO have, its just that i never lived with them) and which i guess is a good thing! but yes...everytime it comes to days when big family gatherings and dinners are highly advertised and practically defined as a must by society, i have to admit that i do feel like i sort of miss out.
yet after i thought about all that stuff yesterday, i heard the voice of God telling me that the family gatherings and banquets that i'll have in heaven far surpasses all these earthly ones that i've missed!!!
yes, the big Family that i do have, the Family that watched me grow up, the Family that loves me so much that They've counted the hairs on my head, is here with me all the time! and when i get to heaven, i'll be in for a feast!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!! :D and i'll have all the Family warmth and love that i feel like i missed out on, because God's family is my family and the happiness i'll get from that will be thousandsfold! its a promise that i'll definitely be clinging on to :)
anyways so that was chinese new year :) another thing that i wanted to blog about, was just something that God's been speaking to me about lately. well at least in this area of my life...and i know for sure He's speaking to me coz i've been reading about it in the Word, books, blogs and even heard about it in the sermon today! (well not directly...but something i derived from it) and this area is loving others.
long story short, i've been coming to the realization again that i can't do it, and that i wasnt able to do things with the pure motives of loving others. for example, even though i've been helping out at C4C alot lately, i dont know know what my real motives are...i liked to think of it as i just wanted to help, and i'd dare say that that IS a big element of it...but if i search deep within myself, i'd probably say it was also for recognition, for acceptance, for the sake of getting to know the other C4C ppl better...not love.
and then i was just praying last night for God to change me, to help me love others without prejudice and judgement, because so often that's just what i do. i love ppl whom i want to love, with whom i want to become better friends with, and then i turn around neglect and develop negative attitudes towards ppl whom i am not interested in or feel like have done something against me. but thats not what Jesus told us to do...as He said,
"But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them...
But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil."
Luke 6:32 and 35
so if we dont do that, how will ppl know that we're different? if all we do is do good things that even sinners does, how can they tell that we have the hope of God within us and that we're children of God? and i was humbled this morning, as i went to church, feeling all full of the spirit because of the things i read the night before and thinking that i can do it, God gave me two instances when confronted with, i fell short immediately and acted as non-christiany as anyone could define that. the ppl involved themselves might not realize that, because often times i never show it outwardly, but i know my vicious thoughts and so does God. and i felt really bad about the way i reacted and once again got reminded of how imperfect i am...
then the sermon came. the parable of the mustard seed (Luke 13:18-19) and its reference to the church and its impurities and imperfectness (re: the birds that dwelled in it). and WE are the church...WE are the ones with impurities that God has to refine, and its only through our inequities that God's grace can fill us and work within us. it is by accepting the fact that we can't do it by ourselves and we need God, that only through Him that we can love others unconditionally.
"...The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground,
and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how.
For the earth yields crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head."
Mark 4:26-28
the kingdom of God is in us, and it WILL grow. we WILL display the qualities of God, namely, love.
amen :)