i swear id rip my heart out if you said youd be impressed
Wow, i am so fucked up from the medication. I'm addicted to it. I've taken over 30 pills within about 5 days or less. My mom is worried, & is trying to hide them. I'm a wreck & i cant do without them. The side effects suck like your mom. Go away bipolar, I fucking hate you. I'm happy remember? Get away from me. My stitches ripped out, my face is swollen & bruised. I'm a mess. Yet, he stills loves me & comes to spend some time with me. Its strange how the medicine rapidlly increases my hormones. I kind of like it, I am such a creep. Yeah, i defenitly am. I hope my mouth stops bleeding. I'm scared, no, im not. I'm a liar.
Its weird how much you can realize you love someone so much in such a short period of time. Last night I talked to some of the old lovers, the ones i kept hanging on in case of emergency where I was too scared to be alone. I let them go. I dont need them. Theres no use in keeping them hanging on. Theres no use because right now I know I have everything i can possibly need. I am love with this boy & no one else. I would defenitly like to be a different person. There only needs to be one person in my life & I know exactly who I want it to be. To share the good time, & to help me through the worst. I have my friends who love me, but for someone to love me with so much passion & honestly is amazing. I have never felt like this is my entired life. Although I can continue to sit there with him & want know in the back of my head I just want to die, I can look up & smile & realize he is worth living for. I'm not putting my life on his hands, theres no way I would ever do that to anybody, but he makes me want to breathe. He makes me want to live everyday & love it. How many people can I truely say make me feel that way. No one. No one besides him. Sometimes I just sit there & wonder what kind of person I would have been if I never met him, how my life would be so much different. Or yet how his life would be different. They wouldn't be amazing. We saved each other, theres no doubt in my mind about that. He is saving my life more & more everyday. I love him so much.
I haven't seen the sun in about a week
and I'm keeping all sharp objects out of reach
I finally know the taste of love
it's a cross between cheap beer and blood
with an aftertaste of dry sarcastic speach
and so I guess it's safe to say
that we both knew that I'd end up this way
with a brain that's clueless and unsure
and eyes that hardly ever work but I guess that's fine
I rarely use them anyway
Its weird how much you can realize you love someone so much in such a short period of time. Last night I talked to some of the old lovers, the ones i kept hanging on in case of emergency where I was too scared to be alone. I let them go. I dont need them. Theres no use in keeping them hanging on. Theres no use because right now I know I have everything i can possibly need. I am love with this boy & no one else. I would defenitly like to be a different person. There only needs to be one person in my life & I know exactly who I want it to be. To share the good time, & to help me through the worst. I have my friends who love me, but for someone to love me with so much passion & honestly is amazing. I have never felt like this is my entired life. Although I can continue to sit there with him & want know in the back of my head I just want to die, I can look up & smile & realize he is worth living for. I'm not putting my life on his hands, theres no way I would ever do that to anybody, but he makes me want to breathe. He makes me want to live everyday & love it. How many people can I truely say make me feel that way. No one. No one besides him. Sometimes I just sit there & wonder what kind of person I would have been if I never met him, how my life would be so much different. Or yet how his life would be different. They wouldn't be amazing. We saved each other, theres no doubt in my mind about that. He is saving my life more & more everyday. I love him so much.
I haven't seen the sun in about a week
and I'm keeping all sharp objects out of reach
I finally know the taste of love
it's a cross between cheap beer and blood
with an aftertaste of dry sarcastic speach
and so I guess it's safe to say
that we both knew that I'd end up this way
with a brain that's clueless and unsure
and eyes that hardly ever work but I guess that's fine
I rarely use them anyway