At first I thought I couldn't, but now I see...
I'm bored on campus :(. I was going to do reading for the weekend but I totally forgot to bring the book with me today and now I'm stuck trying to keep myself amused. Good thing I brought Fredwig :)
Anyway, I knew this week would be weird, and it has been. It could be worse, so I'm not complaining...actually I don't think I'm complaining at all, really, since it's been pretty good overall. I'm still reevaluating my life, and the things that are important to me, but it's a good kind of reevaluating.
And I think it's really ironic that a bird totally shat in my hair while I was typing that...
LOL. I know I've come a long way from where I was the past few weeks; instead of being incredibly pissed off that it happened, I'm relieved and happy it didn't happen on the black jacket I'm wearing. It was only my bangs, anyway, and it wasn't completely disgusting, and I'm by a bathroom, so I cleaned it off easy-peasy; it could have been a lot worse... I mean...it could have been a bear, and then I'd really be in trouble :D
My mom's leaving for New Zealand today, and I'm excited because 1. She and my dad are visiting me in the middle of the week! and 2. IT'S NEW FRIGGING ZEALAND. Forrealz. Like...the place where all my dreams were made. Ok, not really, because technically that's England, but NZ is where they shot LOTR, and therefore will always be sacred to me. I think she's trying to play it off like she's not terribly excited to be going to such a beautiful place because it's so similar to the island in the PI where she grew up, but OMG IT'S NEW ZEALAND, and I have a feeling she's freaking out as much as I am. Well, maybe not as much as I am; I'm the one with the nerdy Ring tattoo, after all.
Regardless though, it just goes to show that even when you think you know where you're life's going, there are so many ways it could change. I always thought my mom would just be a Head Start teacher until she retired, but she became a Center Director, of not one but THREE centers at once. Then I thought she'd just be doing that, but now she has a license to be a program director, and she's got all these offers to do things that aren't Head Start related with people who actually appreciate the work she does, and I'm happy for her. There's always that opportunity to become more than what we are, and I've realized that just because I'm getting older, or just because I might be a certain age at one time or another in my life, doesn't mean that I'll have less opportunities; I just have to open myself to them (that's what she said).
I did a lot of thinking last night, late when I should have been sleeping; one of my cousins even joked that I must be a vampire with the way I stay up so late all the time. It wasn't bad though--one of those times where I think about where I thought my life was going to go, and where it's going right now. I've learned never to say never, and like a friend of mine mentioned the other day, never to say "always" either; there's so much that we don't know, or can't know, and I refuse to close myself off to anything right now. The world works in very mysterious ways, and I'm just beginning to understand that no matter how much I might think I understand that, I really don't.
At the same time, I refuse to just be a "go with the flow" kind of person. Some things happen for a reason, yes, but I'm also going to start taking charge of my life. I know I've said it before, but I think I mean it a different way every time I say it, so I'll just keep saying it until I find the best meaning for me. Also, I have about 45 minutes before my class is going to start, and I need to kill more time :)
On a less philosophical level, my family has been crazy health-wise lately. The last thing I heard was that my aunt is doing a LOT better; she's breathing on her own, and she's just fighting like crazy, so I'm happy about that :). I'm not sure about my uncle though, but I haven't heard anything thus far, and I'm hoping no news is good news at this point. I'm relieved that at least this week has been less hectic and confusing as last week, and as long as it keeps moving in that direction, I should be ok. If not, I at least know I have some really good friends to keep me up :). I've been reconnecting with people some more, and I absolutely love it. On one hand it sucks, because people like my two roommates are people I adore but will be leaving by the end of the school year, but on the other hand, I've learned the value of just having people in your life, no matter how long, because everyone teaches you something or other, or touches your life in some way. I'm lucky enough to have met so many people who have made my life better, and I'm learning who I want to keep in my life, and who I can do without.
I've been learning a lot of things lately, some good, and some bad, but everything necessary for me to get a good picture of what kind of person I am. The last time I did this, I found myself wanting; I wasn't happy with the person I was, and I did what I needed to to do change that. This time, I'm realizing that I really like who I am, and who I'm becoming, and if people have a problem with that, then those are the people I don't need in my life. Lucky for me, I'm surrounded by people who enjoy my weird quirks, so we're all happy people :)
I honestly think that the change in the weather has a lot to do with my newfound optimism, or at least, it's helped quite a bit. I've missed the sun; I feel like it energizes me, and while I loved the rain while we had it, I love the warmth that comes with the sun :) It makes me feel so lucky to be alive, and I'm holding on to that for as long as I can. I know once it gets incredibly hot I'll probably complain a little about it being unbearable, but for now I'm going to enjoy the sunshine. It's like a metaphor for my life :P Then again, for an English Major, what isn't a metaphor for life?
I think I'm done rambling for now. Have a spectacular day :).
>>EDIT FOR EPIC NERDNESS<<
So I gave up Twitter for Lent. I've been feeling kind of lost since I decided I'd do it, partly because that means I can't text my Twitter, and because I'm not physically stalking following checking everyone's updates on the actual site. Not texting Twitter and not checking the website left me with a lot of free time, and how did I spend it? Two ways:
1. I made these. I'm still making some, whenever I think of another picture to draw. I haven't done words yet, mostly because I wouldn't know what to write...
2. I taught myself how to write things in Elvish LOL. I kind of understand both Quenya and Sindarin ways of writing, and I can write my name & one other thing...so far... :D. I feel like such a NERD right now LOL. I guess this means less song lyrics and more doodles of elvish characters? Or maybe I'll doodle song lyrics IN elvish.
Yeah. I still have homework to do :X.
Anyway, I knew this week would be weird, and it has been. It could be worse, so I'm not complaining...actually I don't think I'm complaining at all, really, since it's been pretty good overall. I'm still reevaluating my life, and the things that are important to me, but it's a good kind of reevaluating.
And I think it's really ironic that a bird totally shat in my hair while I was typing that...
LOL. I know I've come a long way from where I was the past few weeks; instead of being incredibly pissed off that it happened, I'm relieved and happy it didn't happen on the black jacket I'm wearing. It was only my bangs, anyway, and it wasn't completely disgusting, and I'm by a bathroom, so I cleaned it off easy-peasy; it could have been a lot worse... I mean...it could have been a bear, and then I'd really be in trouble :D
My mom's leaving for New Zealand today, and I'm excited because 1. She and my dad are visiting me in the middle of the week! and 2. IT'S NEW FRIGGING ZEALAND. Forrealz. Like...the place where all my dreams were made. Ok, not really, because technically that's England, but NZ is where they shot LOTR, and therefore will always be sacred to me. I think she's trying to play it off like she's not terribly excited to be going to such a beautiful place because it's so similar to the island in the PI where she grew up, but OMG IT'S NEW ZEALAND, and I have a feeling she's freaking out as much as I am. Well, maybe not as much as I am; I'm the one with the nerdy Ring tattoo, after all.
Regardless though, it just goes to show that even when you think you know where you're life's going, there are so many ways it could change. I always thought my mom would just be a Head Start teacher until she retired, but she became a Center Director, of not one but THREE centers at once. Then I thought she'd just be doing that, but now she has a license to be a program director, and she's got all these offers to do things that aren't Head Start related with people who actually appreciate the work she does, and I'm happy for her. There's always that opportunity to become more than what we are, and I've realized that just because I'm getting older, or just because I might be a certain age at one time or another in my life, doesn't mean that I'll have less opportunities; I just have to open myself to them (that's what she said).
I did a lot of thinking last night, late when I should have been sleeping; one of my cousins even joked that I must be a vampire with the way I stay up so late all the time. It wasn't bad though--one of those times where I think about where I thought my life was going to go, and where it's going right now. I've learned never to say never, and like a friend of mine mentioned the other day, never to say "always" either; there's so much that we don't know, or can't know, and I refuse to close myself off to anything right now. The world works in very mysterious ways, and I'm just beginning to understand that no matter how much I might think I understand that, I really don't.
At the same time, I refuse to just be a "go with the flow" kind of person. Some things happen for a reason, yes, but I'm also going to start taking charge of my life. I know I've said it before, but I think I mean it a different way every time I say it, so I'll just keep saying it until I find the best meaning for me. Also, I have about 45 minutes before my class is going to start, and I need to kill more time :)
On a less philosophical level, my family has been crazy health-wise lately. The last thing I heard was that my aunt is doing a LOT better; she's breathing on her own, and she's just fighting like crazy, so I'm happy about that :). I'm not sure about my uncle though, but I haven't heard anything thus far, and I'm hoping no news is good news at this point. I'm relieved that at least this week has been less hectic and confusing as last week, and as long as it keeps moving in that direction, I should be ok. If not, I at least know I have some really good friends to keep me up :). I've been reconnecting with people some more, and I absolutely love it. On one hand it sucks, because people like my two roommates are people I adore but will be leaving by the end of the school year, but on the other hand, I've learned the value of just having people in your life, no matter how long, because everyone teaches you something or other, or touches your life in some way. I'm lucky enough to have met so many people who have made my life better, and I'm learning who I want to keep in my life, and who I can do without.
I've been learning a lot of things lately, some good, and some bad, but everything necessary for me to get a good picture of what kind of person I am. The last time I did this, I found myself wanting; I wasn't happy with the person I was, and I did what I needed to to do change that. This time, I'm realizing that I really like who I am, and who I'm becoming, and if people have a problem with that, then those are the people I don't need in my life. Lucky for me, I'm surrounded by people who enjoy my weird quirks, so we're all happy people :)
I honestly think that the change in the weather has a lot to do with my newfound optimism, or at least, it's helped quite a bit. I've missed the sun; I feel like it energizes me, and while I loved the rain while we had it, I love the warmth that comes with the sun :) It makes me feel so lucky to be alive, and I'm holding on to that for as long as I can. I know once it gets incredibly hot I'll probably complain a little about it being unbearable, but for now I'm going to enjoy the sunshine. It's like a metaphor for my life :P Then again, for an English Major, what isn't a metaphor for life?
I think I'm done rambling for now. Have a spectacular day :).
>>EDIT FOR EPIC NERDNESS<<
So I gave up Twitter for Lent. I've been feeling kind of lost since I decided I'd do it, partly because that means I can't text my Twitter, and because I'm not physically stalking following checking everyone's updates on the actual site. Not texting Twitter and not checking the website left me with a lot of free time, and how did I spend it? Two ways:
1. I made these. I'm still making some, whenever I think of another picture to draw. I haven't done words yet, mostly because I wouldn't know what to write...
2. I taught myself how to write things in Elvish LOL. I kind of understand both Quenya and Sindarin ways of writing, and I can write my name & one other thing...so far... :D. I feel like such a NERD right now LOL. I guess this means less song lyrics and more doodles of elvish characters? Or maybe I'll doodle song lyrics IN elvish.
Yeah. I still have homework to do :X.