(no subject)
Such a very sleepy Froodle am I.
Last night was the Law Ball. It was... meh. Totally not worth £47. The hotel rooms were shitty and there were blankets on the bed. When I rule the world, I'm outlawing blankets. Duvets for all! The food wasn't great and, as usual, the Law Society took it upon themselves to bore us all with tales of their drunken exploits under the guise of "Most Memorable Law Student Moments of 2004/5". Because, you know, there's nothing so amusing to a room full of 400 people than an anecdote involving someone known to maybe ten people in the whole room.
On the plus side, there were balloons filled with helium, so we amused ourselves by inhaling said helium while waiting for the Law Soc to shut the fuck up and let us have our damn dessert. Alan wrote all our email addresses on a piece of paper, tied it to a balloon string and let the balloon go outside. There were also these weird little gift boxes on our tables - gold present-shaped ones with love hearts in them for girls, and tuxedos with chocolate footballs for guys. In the face of such blatent retardery, I was forced to rebel by setting fire to my love hearts and stealing a bunch of chocolate footballs instead.
Also there were these really fancy star-shaped balloons which Verity spent all night trying to steal, but all her attempts kept being foiled. Eventually we managed to liberate one from the clutches of the evil Balloon Bitch from Planet Drunkenslutonia, which we named V'jjacs (Verity, James, Jessica, Alan, Catherine and Steve) in honour of our collaberative effort.
While queuing for our pictures (which took about a thousand years, thanks retards), there was one guy in front of us who, while posing for his picture, decided to answer his mobile phone and yakk to his shitty, insignificant friends, holding the rest of us up even more. Was quite funny as Jessica started yelling abuse at him, telling him he was banned from having his photo taken and that he should shut the fuck up and get out of the Goddamn way instead of holding the rest of us up with his insignificant conversations.
But even after the Samsung Spackwit was vanquished, our quest to claim the "free" professional photos which the Law Soc so deftly negotiated for us was impeded by our old enemy, the Balloon Bitch. She and a group of her shitty, shrieking friends (hailing from both Planet Drunkenslutonia and it's close neighbour, Smashedfucktard) took about twenty minutes to get in position to have their picture taken, during which time we could hear Balloon Bitch shrieking "Boys in back, boys in back!" over and over again, which of course sparked another torrent of abuse from us.
James was really annoying me all evening - there was this chubby girl sitting on a table near us, and she was wearing a pink dress, and every time she walked past us, he had to make some comment about how "people that fat shouldn't wear pink because it makes them look like pigs." I was like, first of all, pigs don't usually come in pastel shades, so that's fucking retarded, and secondly, since you don't know her and she's done nothing annoying (and believe me, I'm the first to get annoyed with people I don't know, usually for being loud or smelling bad), how about you Shut The Fuck Up and stop acting like such a small-minded, petty moron? Also he kept making comments about the reletive merits of the breasts of all the girls at the table, and making these oh-so-hilarious innuendos about Verity and I sharing a room. Eventually I snapped and was like "You're not funny, James. You're fat," and while he was still gaping like a landed fish, Verity comes out with "Oh Catherine, don't be mean! He's not fat. *pause* Anymore." To which I laughed loudly and with youthful abandon while James spluttered indignantly in the background.
On the plus side, there was giant Connect Four and Jenga, and Alan brought his X-Box, so the evening wasn't a total loss. As long as you don't think too hard about the fact that we could have done that sort of thing at home and without being forced to mingle with filthy law students.
Last night was the Law Ball. It was... meh. Totally not worth £47. The hotel rooms were shitty and there were blankets on the bed. When I rule the world, I'm outlawing blankets. Duvets for all! The food wasn't great and, as usual, the Law Society took it upon themselves to bore us all with tales of their drunken exploits under the guise of "Most Memorable Law Student Moments of 2004/5". Because, you know, there's nothing so amusing to a room full of 400 people than an anecdote involving someone known to maybe ten people in the whole room.
On the plus side, there were balloons filled with helium, so we amused ourselves by inhaling said helium while waiting for the Law Soc to shut the fuck up and let us have our damn dessert. Alan wrote all our email addresses on a piece of paper, tied it to a balloon string and let the balloon go outside. There were also these weird little gift boxes on our tables - gold present-shaped ones with love hearts in them for girls, and tuxedos with chocolate footballs for guys. In the face of such blatent retardery, I was forced to rebel by setting fire to my love hearts and stealing a bunch of chocolate footballs instead.
Also there were these really fancy star-shaped balloons which Verity spent all night trying to steal, but all her attempts kept being foiled. Eventually we managed to liberate one from the clutches of the evil Balloon Bitch from Planet Drunkenslutonia, which we named V'jjacs (Verity, James, Jessica, Alan, Catherine and Steve) in honour of our collaberative effort.
While queuing for our pictures (which took about a thousand years, thanks retards), there was one guy in front of us who, while posing for his picture, decided to answer his mobile phone and yakk to his shitty, insignificant friends, holding the rest of us up even more. Was quite funny as Jessica started yelling abuse at him, telling him he was banned from having his photo taken and that he should shut the fuck up and get out of the Goddamn way instead of holding the rest of us up with his insignificant conversations.
But even after the Samsung Spackwit was vanquished, our quest to claim the "free" professional photos which the Law Soc so deftly negotiated for us was impeded by our old enemy, the Balloon Bitch. She and a group of her shitty, shrieking friends (hailing from both Planet Drunkenslutonia and it's close neighbour, Smashedfucktard) took about twenty minutes to get in position to have their picture taken, during which time we could hear Balloon Bitch shrieking "Boys in back, boys in back!" over and over again, which of course sparked another torrent of abuse from us.
James was really annoying me all evening - there was this chubby girl sitting on a table near us, and she was wearing a pink dress, and every time she walked past us, he had to make some comment about how "people that fat shouldn't wear pink because it makes them look like pigs." I was like, first of all, pigs don't usually come in pastel shades, so that's fucking retarded, and secondly, since you don't know her and she's done nothing annoying (and believe me, I'm the first to get annoyed with people I don't know, usually for being loud or smelling bad), how about you Shut The Fuck Up and stop acting like such a small-minded, petty moron? Also he kept making comments about the reletive merits of the breasts of all the girls at the table, and making these oh-so-hilarious innuendos about Verity and I sharing a room. Eventually I snapped and was like "You're not funny, James. You're fat," and while he was still gaping like a landed fish, Verity comes out with "Oh Catherine, don't be mean! He's not fat. *pause* Anymore." To which I laughed loudly and with youthful abandon while James spluttered indignantly in the background.
On the plus side, there was giant Connect Four and Jenga, and Alan brought his X-Box, so the evening wasn't a total loss. As long as you don't think too hard about the fact that we could have done that sort of thing at home and without being forced to mingle with filthy law students.