Fic: The Love Gods [13/?]
Title: The Love Gods [13/?]
Pairing: Puck/Kurt, very slight Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly reconciled Burt and Finn set about finding the one thing that will make their new family complete: a boyfriend for Kurt.
Author's Notes: This is my version of Blaine. I'm aware that he isn't quite canon!Blaine but I hope you'll forgive me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. The events within are entirely fictional.
Word Count: 3500
Previous Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve
Kurt returns to McKinley on Thursday, free at last from the virus that has plagued him for most of the week. He could have done without the fever and the vomiting, but he’d be lying if he said the break from Puck wasn’t welcome. Seeing the other boy almost every day is making it impossible for the choice between him and Blaine to be an objective one. Kurt has five days a week to appreciate all that Puck has to offer as a boyfriend; with Blaine he gets text messages and an hour or so in a coffee shop on Friday afternoons. It’s hardly a level playing field, and Kurt is starting to feel increasingly guilty about it. Both boys have agreed to give him all the time he needs to make a decision, but the more he thinks about it, the more he feels as though he’ll never be ready to choose. He used to dream of a day when he’d have attractive men competing for his affection. Now that it is actually happening, there is a part of him that wishes they’d both just give up and find someone else.
He’d never admit it to anyone, but Kurt is a little disappointed to find Tina and Mercedes waiting for him at his locker on Monday morning instead of Puck. It’s only been a couple of days, but he has missed Puck’s smile and his surprisingly witty remarks. Kurt can only hope that he won’t lose his friendship with Puck if he ends up choosing Blaine, as Puck has quickly become one of the most important people in Kurt’s life. He has missed his girls too, of course, but seeing the boy who could possibly become his boyfriend is slightly more exciting than catching up on the latest gossip with his friends. He had thought perhaps Puck might have been looking forward to seeing him too. Obviously not.
“Hey boy!” Mercedes calls, beaming when she notices Kurt walking towards her. “You feeling better?”
“Much,” Kurt replies brightly, allowing himself to be pulled into a brief hug by his best friend before asking her and Tina how they are doing. He is just about to ask what to expect from the afternoon’s glee rehearsal when he catches sight of Puck entering the hall.
With an angry purple bruise framing his left eye.
“What happened to Puck?” Kurt asks, aiming for curious but indifferent rather than OH-MY-GOD-SOMEONE-HIT-HIM.
“You don’t know?” Tina asks, sounding shocked. “Finn didn’t tell you?”
Personally, Kurt is more surprised that Puck didn’t mention it last night when he’d called to see how Kurt was doing. It’s been ages since Puck has been in a fight. So long, in fact, that Kurt was starting to hope that he had finally acquired a long overdue understanding of the concept of self-control.
“Rachel insisted that Finn stay away from me lest he catch anything that might ruin the duet they are planning,” Kurt explains, rolling his eyes. “I haven’t really spoken to him much since Sunday night.”
“Puck’s bisexual,” Mercedes says in response.
“Who told you that?” Kurt hisses, glancing around to make sure that she wasn’t overheard.
“He did,” Tina replies casually.
“Right in the middle of Mr. Jennings’ English class,” Mercedes adds. “It was pretty badass, actually.”
Mercedes and Tina exchange amused glances, but all Kurt can do is gape at them. How could Puck have done something so monumentally stupid?
“You can guess how well the football team reacted,” Tina continues, the smile falling from her face.
Kurt scowls. Given how angry Karofsky always seems to be about Kurt’s sexuality, he is certain the other boy would be furious about Puck’s. He would see it as some kind of betrayal, no doubt. Something worthy of punishment.
“Who was it?” he asks.
“Karofsky,” Mercedes confirms. “The dumbass didn’t even wait until after school. He stood up as soon as Puck had finished speaking and punched him, right in front of everyone.”
“And Puck?” Kurt asks fearfully. Principal Figgins made it clear only last week that any more fighting between the glee club and the football team would result in suspensions. It sickens Kurt to think of Puck getting suspended for defending himself over something that shouldn’t even be an issue.
“He didn’t do anything,” Mercedes replies. “Just sort of laughed a bit, which was weird, and then asked if he could go get some ice.”
Kurt’s mouth twists into a smile. He can well imagine how Puck’s lack of reaction would have infuriated Karofsky. As soon as he can, he is going to find Puck and commend his display of restraint. The urge to run to Puck’s side straight away is almost overwhelming, but Kurt forces himself to stay where he is. He will only get Puck in more trouble if people find out how much Kurt cares for him.
“Karofsky is suspended, right?” Kurt asks. “That’s what Figgins promised.”
Tina snorts disdainfully. “Apparently he was going to hug Puck and his arm slipped,” she mutters darkly. “So no, he isn’t suspended.”
“What?” Kurt screeches, forgetting for a moment that he is supposed to be playing it cool. “That’s fucking bullshit.”
Mercedes raises and eyebrow at the vehemence of Kurt’s response.
“I’m so tired of jerks like Dave Karofsky tormenting us and getting away with it,” Kurt says by way of explanation.
Much to Kurt’s relief, Mercedes nods in understanding and doesn’t question him further.
*
Unsurprisingly, Puck’s announcement has made him a target of renewed focus for the likes of Jacob Ben Israel, which makes getting him alone to talk a challenging task indeed. Kurt is all too aware of the kind of gossip that would ensue if he and Puck were seen together, and that is stress that neither of them need right now.
He finally gets a chance at lunchtime. Kurt is heading to the cafeteria when he spots Puck grabbing some books from his locker. He ducks into an empty classroom and quickly sends Puck a message asking him to meet him there. Moments later, Puck slips into the room with a broad grin on his face.
“Miss me?” he drawls, closing the door behind him and walking over to where Kurt is perched on one of the desks.
Kurt crosses his arms and glares at Puck. “What on earth did you think you were doing?” he demands. “Outing yourself like that. You know how hard it is to be openly gay here. Why would you put yourself through that when I haven’t even made my decision yet?”
Puck chuckles lightly. “Look man, I like you and all, but I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me. I’m bisexual, Kurt. Whether you want me or not, that’s who I am. And I’m not going to hide it.”
Kurt softens immediately, and before he knows what he is doing he is hopping off the desk and leaning up to wrap his arms around Puck’s shoulders. The very next second, Puck’s arms encircle his waist, pulling him closer. The little puff of surprise Puck lets out at Kurt’s action sends goose bumps skidding down Kurt’s neck. Puck is solid, so very solid, but the skin at the nape of his neck is soft beneath Kurt’s fingers.
“I wanted you to be the first to know,” Puck says apologetically. “But then Karofsky and Azimio were talking shit about you again and I just thought, fuck it. If they want to call people fags they might as well start with me.”
“I’m proud of you,” Kurt murmurs, turning his head to press the lightest of kisses to Puck’s cheek.
Puck’s tanned skin might hide it better than Kurt’s would, but there is no mistaking the fact that he is blushing now. Blushing because Kurt is proud of him.
A loud cough causes them to break apart, and all of the colour to drain from Kurt’s face. When he musters up enough courage to turn around he finds Mr. Schuester standing in the doorway, a look of confusion on his face.
“Hey Mr. Schue,” Puck says calmly.
“Hi,” Will replies warily. He looks from Kurt to Puck and back again, clearly waiting for an explanation.
Kurt derives an absurd amount of satisfaction from the fact that neither he nor Puck offers one.
*
The glee assignment for the week is the worst they’ve ever had, and Kurt is incredibly thankful that he doesn’t have to participate. Sectionals are only a couple of weeks away and apparently the best way Mr. Schuester can think to prepare them is to make them come up with an animal themed number. It’s as if he secretly wants them to fail.
Finn is the first to perform, and he swaggers his way through Eye of the Tiger, in a display of predictability so great that even Rachel seems unimpressed. Santana only makes it through the first line of Closer before Mr. Schuester halts her performance. It is thoroughly disheartening to witness. They have so much talent in the group, but it’s difficult to see it when they’re singing about Old MacDonald and his farm.
Puck is one of the last to perform, and Kurt seriously contemplates excusing himself so that he doesn’t have to listen. If Rachel was unable to find a half decent song to sing, it’s highly unlikely that Puck did.
“I gotta say, I thought this assignment was totally retarded,” Puck begins, and Kurt has to bite his lip to stop from laughing. “But then I found an animal song that is kind of perfect for me. It was written by a guy called Nick Lowe, but Johnny Cash made it his own.”
It never ceases to amaze Kurt how he, who is so enamoured of spectacle and drama and flamboyance, can be so moved by something as understated as Puck singing with just his guitar for accompaniment. There’s not a lot to the song, just the gentle strumming of a guitar and harsh words sung low, but it hits Kurt’s heart with a force and lodges itself there. Puck exudes a sensuality that Kurt both admires and envies, especially when he is performing. His voice slides over you like silk, and Kurt utterly loses himself at one point thinking about the contrast between that smooth voice and its owner’s guitar calloused fingers. He feels his face fill with heat but he doesn’t dare look around to see if anyone else has noticed. He does, however, make the very great mistake of looking at Puck. It is evident from the glint in Puck’s eyes that he at least has some idea of the effect he is having on Kurt. It causes Kurt’s stomach to turn itself upside down in something like anticipation.
Kurt finds that he quite likes the feeling.
*
“He made you sing songs about animals?” Blaine asks incredulously as Kurt sits down opposite him.
“He did,” Kurt replies. “It was a nightmare. Only Puck managed to avoid total humiliation and that’s only because he didn’t take the theme too literally.”
Blaine nods. “I’m curious…how exactly does he think that assignments like that are going to help you?”
“I have no idea,” Kurt replies, shaking his head. “Maybe he’s trying to make us immune to embarrassment?”
“Yeah? How is that working out for you?” Blaine asks, flashing Kurt his most flirtatious smile.
True to form, Kurt blushes.
“What about you?” Kurt asks, desperate for a change of subject. “How are your rehearsals going?”
“Fantastic,” Blaine says enthusiastically. “We’ve put together a great medley for me, and the guys are harmonising so well these days. I can’t wait for you to hear it.”
They speak frequently about their respective glee clubs during their Friday afternoon meetings, and Kurt can’t help but notice that nearly every Warbler routine Blaine mentions features a solo from him. This inevitably leads him to wondering whether the rest of the Warblers feel the same way about Blaine as New Directions do about Rachel and Finn. Blaine is the least egotistical person Kurt has ever met, so he is sure that the imbalance is not conscious on his part, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. He’s thought about asking Blaine about it, but their friendship is still too new for him to want to risk it over such a potentially emotionally charged question.
“I’ll look forward to it,” he replies, mustering up a smile.
“So,” Blaine says, slicing an apple muffin in half and sliding a piece over to Kurt. “What else is new with you?”
Kurt swallows thickly. This is the moment he has been dreading since he walked out of rehearsal on Thursday afternoon.
“Well,” he says tentatively. “Do you remember what you said to me the night I first visited Dalton, about not asking me out sooner because you thought I needed a friend more than a boyfriend?”
“Of course I do,” Blaine replies, picking up a piece of muffin and popping it into his mouth.
“I think you might have been right,” Kurt replies, feeling quiet proud of himself for maintaining eye contact with Blaine.
“Oh,” Blaine says, unable to mask his shock.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt says quietly. “Please believe me when I say this isn’t easy for me. I’ve been thinking about it constantly for weeks and getting nowhere, and then I was listening to Puck perform in glee yesterday and suddenly it all made sense. You’re amazing, Blaine. You’re sweet and attractive and incredibly charming. But Puck makes me feel things I’ve never felt with anyone before; things I don’t feel with anyone but him.”
“I understand,” Blaine says, forcing a smile onto his face.
“I know he and I have kind of a rough history,” Kurt continues. “But we’ve come so far together already. I’d like to see just how far we could go.”
“That make sense,” Blaine acknowledges. “But promise me you’ll be careful. He doesn’t exactly seem like the most trustworthy guy around.”
Kurt can understand where Blaine’s concern is coming from - Mercedes will probably say the same thing when she finds out - but he still feels the need to jump to Puck’s defence. “You don’t know him like I do,” he says shortly.
“Okay,” Blaine says, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’d rather not fight with you over this. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know,” Kurt says softly. “Thank you. I don’t want to lose you, Blaine. I love spending time with you. I don’t want that to change.”
“You won’t lose me,” Blaine says earnestly. “I wish you’d made a different choice, but I respect the one you did make. I hope it works out for you.”
*
Kurt never imagined that telling Blaine would be the easy part. When he arrived home from their meeting on Friday he had picked up the phone with every intention of calling Puck to inform him of his decision, but his fingers kept freezing up before he could press the final digit. He tries to picture himself telling Puck but his mind goes blank, completely unable to find the words. He is as certain of his choice as he was when he made it, but is also conscious of just how much his life will change once Puck knows. He will have his first boyfriend. Not so long ago he thought he would have to wait until college to have a boyfriend. Maybe even later than that.
Even though he’s never been in one, Kurt takes relationships very seriously. He wants a relationship free from all of the selfishness, mistrust and infidelity that seems to infect the relationships of all the other couples at McKinley. He wants to be able to give himself to Puck completely, and for Puck to give himself to Kurt in return. Puck has already proven his commitment in ways that Kurt would never have expected. He might claim to have come out purely for himself, but they both know that he did it knowing how much it would mean to Kurt.
So if Puck can take such a mammoth step, why can’t Kurt call him up and tell him how happy he is that he did? Why can he not admit to Puck that he finally knows what he wants?
The problem, he supposes, is that picturing himself walking down the halls with Puck’s hand in his scares him as much as it excites him. His sexuality will no longer be purely theoretical. Puck will want things from him, things that Kurt would love to give if only he knew how. The thought of all the things Puck could teach him sends a pleasant shudder down Kurt’s spine, and his traitorous hand slips down to brush over the bulge that is forming in his skinny jeans. He lets out a frustrated groan. If he could just grow some balls and speak to Puck, he could have some help in situations like this. His cock twitches its approval at that particular prospect.
That settles it. The next time he sees Puck he is going to walk straight up to him and tell him how he feels.
Hopefully.
*
Monday morning finds Kurt once again chatting to Mercedes and trying not to look over at Puck’s locker every couple of seconds. After careful consideration, he’d found the perfect way to let Puck know he was interested. Now he just has to wait for Puck to find it.
“Are you going to Rachel’s Barbara party on Saturday?” Mercedes asks.
“I’m not sure,” Kurt replies. “I think I might have plans.”
“Anything exciting?”
“Just spending time with my dad,” Kurt lies. He hates lying to his best friend, but he needs to know for sure where he and Puck stand before he confides in her.
“Damn,” Mercedes grumbles. “I already told her I’d go and I was counting on your support.”
“Sorry,” Kurt says, offering her a sympathetic smile. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Puck approach his locker, and his heart jumps into his throat.
“Have you thought about what song you’re going to sing for glee this week?” Mercedes asks, drawing Kurt’s attention back to her. He feels bad enough about hiding something this big from her; he’d hate for her to feel like he was ignoring her as well.
“Hey,” Puck says, moving over to join them and staring intently at Kurt from over Mercedes’ shoulder.
“What do you want?” Mercedes says, bristling slightly at Puck’s presence. Kurt hopes that she will get over that once she and Puck have spent some more time together.
“Kurt, can I talk to you for a minute?” Puck asks.
Mercedes looks suspicious, and Kurt is almost positive that when she opens her mouth it is to refuse on his behalf.
“Sure,” Kurt replies before Mercedes can reply, giving her a reassuring smile.
Puck leads him over to a relatively secluded part of the hall. Mercedes watches them for a moment but once she is satisfied that Kurt is okay she leaves them to it.
“Did you put this in my locker?” Puck asks, holding up a piece of paper.
“Yes,” Kurt replies, blushing.
“What is it?” Puck asks.
“It’s a flower,” Kurt replies, his index finger reaching out and tracing the flower he’d painstakingly copied from one of his mother’s old gardening books. “A white violet, to be precise.”
“Okay,” Puck says, sounding more confused than ever.
“Traditionally, every flower had its own special meaning,” Kurt explains, just as he had planned to. “A red rose means ‘I love you’ for example, whereas a peach rose means modesty.”
“I see,” Puck replies, looking at the piece of paper again. “And what does a white violet mean?”
“Let’s take a chance on happiness,” Kurt whispers, nervousness flooding him even though this had been the plan he felt most comfortable with.
“Interesting,” Puck murmurs, his mouth quirking into the beginnings of a smile.
There it is. The moment when Kurt’s world changes forever. Because Puck might look to anyone passing as though he is engaged in a perfectly ordinary conversation, but there is a happiness in his eyes that Kurt has never seen there before. This is something Puck really wants.
“Yes,” Kurt says quietly. “I was going to buy you an actual one, but you don’t exactly strike me as the flower-loving type.”
“I like this one,” Puck replies, folding up the paper and placing it in the front pocket of his jeans. “Does this mean I get to take you out on Saturday night?”
“No,” Kurt replies, his eyes twinkling merrily. “It means that I get to take you out. If you’ve no objections.”
Puck grins. “Kurt Hummel…are you asking permission to court me?”
“Perhaps,” Kurt replies, returning Puck’s smile. “Will you give it to me?”
Puck takes a step forward, leaning down so he can whisper in Kurt’s ear. “Darlin’, that’s just the start of what I’m going to give to you.”
Song Links:
1. Survivor's Eye of the Tiger
2. Nine Inch Nails - Closer. There's a warning for language on this one for those who've never heard it.
3. Johnny Cash singing The Beast in Me
Pairing: Puck/Kurt, very slight Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly reconciled Burt and Finn set about finding the one thing that will make their new family complete: a boyfriend for Kurt.
Author's Notes: This is my version of Blaine. I'm aware that he isn't quite canon!Blaine but I hope you'll forgive me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. The events within are entirely fictional.
Word Count: 3500
Previous Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve
Kurt returns to McKinley on Thursday, free at last from the virus that has plagued him for most of the week. He could have done without the fever and the vomiting, but he’d be lying if he said the break from Puck wasn’t welcome. Seeing the other boy almost every day is making it impossible for the choice between him and Blaine to be an objective one. Kurt has five days a week to appreciate all that Puck has to offer as a boyfriend; with Blaine he gets text messages and an hour or so in a coffee shop on Friday afternoons. It’s hardly a level playing field, and Kurt is starting to feel increasingly guilty about it. Both boys have agreed to give him all the time he needs to make a decision, but the more he thinks about it, the more he feels as though he’ll never be ready to choose. He used to dream of a day when he’d have attractive men competing for his affection. Now that it is actually happening, there is a part of him that wishes they’d both just give up and find someone else.
He’d never admit it to anyone, but Kurt is a little disappointed to find Tina and Mercedes waiting for him at his locker on Monday morning instead of Puck. It’s only been a couple of days, but he has missed Puck’s smile and his surprisingly witty remarks. Kurt can only hope that he won’t lose his friendship with Puck if he ends up choosing Blaine, as Puck has quickly become one of the most important people in Kurt’s life. He has missed his girls too, of course, but seeing the boy who could possibly become his boyfriend is slightly more exciting than catching up on the latest gossip with his friends. He had thought perhaps Puck might have been looking forward to seeing him too. Obviously not.
“Hey boy!” Mercedes calls, beaming when she notices Kurt walking towards her. “You feeling better?”
“Much,” Kurt replies brightly, allowing himself to be pulled into a brief hug by his best friend before asking her and Tina how they are doing. He is just about to ask what to expect from the afternoon’s glee rehearsal when he catches sight of Puck entering the hall.
With an angry purple bruise framing his left eye.
“What happened to Puck?” Kurt asks, aiming for curious but indifferent rather than OH-MY-GOD-SOMEONE-HIT-HIM.
“You don’t know?” Tina asks, sounding shocked. “Finn didn’t tell you?”
Personally, Kurt is more surprised that Puck didn’t mention it last night when he’d called to see how Kurt was doing. It’s been ages since Puck has been in a fight. So long, in fact, that Kurt was starting to hope that he had finally acquired a long overdue understanding of the concept of self-control.
“Rachel insisted that Finn stay away from me lest he catch anything that might ruin the duet they are planning,” Kurt explains, rolling his eyes. “I haven’t really spoken to him much since Sunday night.”
“Puck’s bisexual,” Mercedes says in response.
“Who told you that?” Kurt hisses, glancing around to make sure that she wasn’t overheard.
“He did,” Tina replies casually.
“Right in the middle of Mr. Jennings’ English class,” Mercedes adds. “It was pretty badass, actually.”
Mercedes and Tina exchange amused glances, but all Kurt can do is gape at them. How could Puck have done something so monumentally stupid?
“You can guess how well the football team reacted,” Tina continues, the smile falling from her face.
Kurt scowls. Given how angry Karofsky always seems to be about Kurt’s sexuality, he is certain the other boy would be furious about Puck’s. He would see it as some kind of betrayal, no doubt. Something worthy of punishment.
“Who was it?” he asks.
“Karofsky,” Mercedes confirms. “The dumbass didn’t even wait until after school. He stood up as soon as Puck had finished speaking and punched him, right in front of everyone.”
“And Puck?” Kurt asks fearfully. Principal Figgins made it clear only last week that any more fighting between the glee club and the football team would result in suspensions. It sickens Kurt to think of Puck getting suspended for defending himself over something that shouldn’t even be an issue.
“He didn’t do anything,” Mercedes replies. “Just sort of laughed a bit, which was weird, and then asked if he could go get some ice.”
Kurt’s mouth twists into a smile. He can well imagine how Puck’s lack of reaction would have infuriated Karofsky. As soon as he can, he is going to find Puck and commend his display of restraint. The urge to run to Puck’s side straight away is almost overwhelming, but Kurt forces himself to stay where he is. He will only get Puck in more trouble if people find out how much Kurt cares for him.
“Karofsky is suspended, right?” Kurt asks. “That’s what Figgins promised.”
Tina snorts disdainfully. “Apparently he was going to hug Puck and his arm slipped,” she mutters darkly. “So no, he isn’t suspended.”
“What?” Kurt screeches, forgetting for a moment that he is supposed to be playing it cool. “That’s fucking bullshit.”
Mercedes raises and eyebrow at the vehemence of Kurt’s response.
“I’m so tired of jerks like Dave Karofsky tormenting us and getting away with it,” Kurt says by way of explanation.
Much to Kurt’s relief, Mercedes nods in understanding and doesn’t question him further.
*
Unsurprisingly, Puck’s announcement has made him a target of renewed focus for the likes of Jacob Ben Israel, which makes getting him alone to talk a challenging task indeed. Kurt is all too aware of the kind of gossip that would ensue if he and Puck were seen together, and that is stress that neither of them need right now.
He finally gets a chance at lunchtime. Kurt is heading to the cafeteria when he spots Puck grabbing some books from his locker. He ducks into an empty classroom and quickly sends Puck a message asking him to meet him there. Moments later, Puck slips into the room with a broad grin on his face.
“Miss me?” he drawls, closing the door behind him and walking over to where Kurt is perched on one of the desks.
Kurt crosses his arms and glares at Puck. “What on earth did you think you were doing?” he demands. “Outing yourself like that. You know how hard it is to be openly gay here. Why would you put yourself through that when I haven’t even made my decision yet?”
Puck chuckles lightly. “Look man, I like you and all, but I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me. I’m bisexual, Kurt. Whether you want me or not, that’s who I am. And I’m not going to hide it.”
Kurt softens immediately, and before he knows what he is doing he is hopping off the desk and leaning up to wrap his arms around Puck’s shoulders. The very next second, Puck’s arms encircle his waist, pulling him closer. The little puff of surprise Puck lets out at Kurt’s action sends goose bumps skidding down Kurt’s neck. Puck is solid, so very solid, but the skin at the nape of his neck is soft beneath Kurt’s fingers.
“I wanted you to be the first to know,” Puck says apologetically. “But then Karofsky and Azimio were talking shit about you again and I just thought, fuck it. If they want to call people fags they might as well start with me.”
“I’m proud of you,” Kurt murmurs, turning his head to press the lightest of kisses to Puck’s cheek.
Puck’s tanned skin might hide it better than Kurt’s would, but there is no mistaking the fact that he is blushing now. Blushing because Kurt is proud of him.
A loud cough causes them to break apart, and all of the colour to drain from Kurt’s face. When he musters up enough courage to turn around he finds Mr. Schuester standing in the doorway, a look of confusion on his face.
“Hey Mr. Schue,” Puck says calmly.
“Hi,” Will replies warily. He looks from Kurt to Puck and back again, clearly waiting for an explanation.
Kurt derives an absurd amount of satisfaction from the fact that neither he nor Puck offers one.
*
The glee assignment for the week is the worst they’ve ever had, and Kurt is incredibly thankful that he doesn’t have to participate. Sectionals are only a couple of weeks away and apparently the best way Mr. Schuester can think to prepare them is to make them come up with an animal themed number. It’s as if he secretly wants them to fail.
Finn is the first to perform, and he swaggers his way through Eye of the Tiger, in a display of predictability so great that even Rachel seems unimpressed. Santana only makes it through the first line of Closer before Mr. Schuester halts her performance. It is thoroughly disheartening to witness. They have so much talent in the group, but it’s difficult to see it when they’re singing about Old MacDonald and his farm.
Puck is one of the last to perform, and Kurt seriously contemplates excusing himself so that he doesn’t have to listen. If Rachel was unable to find a half decent song to sing, it’s highly unlikely that Puck did.
“I gotta say, I thought this assignment was totally retarded,” Puck begins, and Kurt has to bite his lip to stop from laughing. “But then I found an animal song that is kind of perfect for me. It was written by a guy called Nick Lowe, but Johnny Cash made it his own.”
It never ceases to amaze Kurt how he, who is so enamoured of spectacle and drama and flamboyance, can be so moved by something as understated as Puck singing with just his guitar for accompaniment. There’s not a lot to the song, just the gentle strumming of a guitar and harsh words sung low, but it hits Kurt’s heart with a force and lodges itself there. Puck exudes a sensuality that Kurt both admires and envies, especially when he is performing. His voice slides over you like silk, and Kurt utterly loses himself at one point thinking about the contrast between that smooth voice and its owner’s guitar calloused fingers. He feels his face fill with heat but he doesn’t dare look around to see if anyone else has noticed. He does, however, make the very great mistake of looking at Puck. It is evident from the glint in Puck’s eyes that he at least has some idea of the effect he is having on Kurt. It causes Kurt’s stomach to turn itself upside down in something like anticipation.
Kurt finds that he quite likes the feeling.
*
“He made you sing songs about animals?” Blaine asks incredulously as Kurt sits down opposite him.
“He did,” Kurt replies. “It was a nightmare. Only Puck managed to avoid total humiliation and that’s only because he didn’t take the theme too literally.”
Blaine nods. “I’m curious…how exactly does he think that assignments like that are going to help you?”
“I have no idea,” Kurt replies, shaking his head. “Maybe he’s trying to make us immune to embarrassment?”
“Yeah? How is that working out for you?” Blaine asks, flashing Kurt his most flirtatious smile.
True to form, Kurt blushes.
“What about you?” Kurt asks, desperate for a change of subject. “How are your rehearsals going?”
“Fantastic,” Blaine says enthusiastically. “We’ve put together a great medley for me, and the guys are harmonising so well these days. I can’t wait for you to hear it.”
They speak frequently about their respective glee clubs during their Friday afternoon meetings, and Kurt can’t help but notice that nearly every Warbler routine Blaine mentions features a solo from him. This inevitably leads him to wondering whether the rest of the Warblers feel the same way about Blaine as New Directions do about Rachel and Finn. Blaine is the least egotistical person Kurt has ever met, so he is sure that the imbalance is not conscious on his part, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. He’s thought about asking Blaine about it, but their friendship is still too new for him to want to risk it over such a potentially emotionally charged question.
“I’ll look forward to it,” he replies, mustering up a smile.
“So,” Blaine says, slicing an apple muffin in half and sliding a piece over to Kurt. “What else is new with you?”
Kurt swallows thickly. This is the moment he has been dreading since he walked out of rehearsal on Thursday afternoon.
“Well,” he says tentatively. “Do you remember what you said to me the night I first visited Dalton, about not asking me out sooner because you thought I needed a friend more than a boyfriend?”
“Of course I do,” Blaine replies, picking up a piece of muffin and popping it into his mouth.
“I think you might have been right,” Kurt replies, feeling quiet proud of himself for maintaining eye contact with Blaine.
“Oh,” Blaine says, unable to mask his shock.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt says quietly. “Please believe me when I say this isn’t easy for me. I’ve been thinking about it constantly for weeks and getting nowhere, and then I was listening to Puck perform in glee yesterday and suddenly it all made sense. You’re amazing, Blaine. You’re sweet and attractive and incredibly charming. But Puck makes me feel things I’ve never felt with anyone before; things I don’t feel with anyone but him.”
“I understand,” Blaine says, forcing a smile onto his face.
“I know he and I have kind of a rough history,” Kurt continues. “But we’ve come so far together already. I’d like to see just how far we could go.”
“That make sense,” Blaine acknowledges. “But promise me you’ll be careful. He doesn’t exactly seem like the most trustworthy guy around.”
Kurt can understand where Blaine’s concern is coming from - Mercedes will probably say the same thing when she finds out - but he still feels the need to jump to Puck’s defence. “You don’t know him like I do,” he says shortly.
“Okay,” Blaine says, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’d rather not fight with you over this. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know,” Kurt says softly. “Thank you. I don’t want to lose you, Blaine. I love spending time with you. I don’t want that to change.”
“You won’t lose me,” Blaine says earnestly. “I wish you’d made a different choice, but I respect the one you did make. I hope it works out for you.”
*
Kurt never imagined that telling Blaine would be the easy part. When he arrived home from their meeting on Friday he had picked up the phone with every intention of calling Puck to inform him of his decision, but his fingers kept freezing up before he could press the final digit. He tries to picture himself telling Puck but his mind goes blank, completely unable to find the words. He is as certain of his choice as he was when he made it, but is also conscious of just how much his life will change once Puck knows. He will have his first boyfriend. Not so long ago he thought he would have to wait until college to have a boyfriend. Maybe even later than that.
Even though he’s never been in one, Kurt takes relationships very seriously. He wants a relationship free from all of the selfishness, mistrust and infidelity that seems to infect the relationships of all the other couples at McKinley. He wants to be able to give himself to Puck completely, and for Puck to give himself to Kurt in return. Puck has already proven his commitment in ways that Kurt would never have expected. He might claim to have come out purely for himself, but they both know that he did it knowing how much it would mean to Kurt.
So if Puck can take such a mammoth step, why can’t Kurt call him up and tell him how happy he is that he did? Why can he not admit to Puck that he finally knows what he wants?
The problem, he supposes, is that picturing himself walking down the halls with Puck’s hand in his scares him as much as it excites him. His sexuality will no longer be purely theoretical. Puck will want things from him, things that Kurt would love to give if only he knew how. The thought of all the things Puck could teach him sends a pleasant shudder down Kurt’s spine, and his traitorous hand slips down to brush over the bulge that is forming in his skinny jeans. He lets out a frustrated groan. If he could just grow some balls and speak to Puck, he could have some help in situations like this. His cock twitches its approval at that particular prospect.
That settles it. The next time he sees Puck he is going to walk straight up to him and tell him how he feels.
Hopefully.
*
Monday morning finds Kurt once again chatting to Mercedes and trying not to look over at Puck’s locker every couple of seconds. After careful consideration, he’d found the perfect way to let Puck know he was interested. Now he just has to wait for Puck to find it.
“Are you going to Rachel’s Barbara party on Saturday?” Mercedes asks.
“I’m not sure,” Kurt replies. “I think I might have plans.”
“Anything exciting?”
“Just spending time with my dad,” Kurt lies. He hates lying to his best friend, but he needs to know for sure where he and Puck stand before he confides in her.
“Damn,” Mercedes grumbles. “I already told her I’d go and I was counting on your support.”
“Sorry,” Kurt says, offering her a sympathetic smile. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Puck approach his locker, and his heart jumps into his throat.
“Have you thought about what song you’re going to sing for glee this week?” Mercedes asks, drawing Kurt’s attention back to her. He feels bad enough about hiding something this big from her; he’d hate for her to feel like he was ignoring her as well.
“Hey,” Puck says, moving over to join them and staring intently at Kurt from over Mercedes’ shoulder.
“What do you want?” Mercedes says, bristling slightly at Puck’s presence. Kurt hopes that she will get over that once she and Puck have spent some more time together.
“Kurt, can I talk to you for a minute?” Puck asks.
Mercedes looks suspicious, and Kurt is almost positive that when she opens her mouth it is to refuse on his behalf.
“Sure,” Kurt replies before Mercedes can reply, giving her a reassuring smile.
Puck leads him over to a relatively secluded part of the hall. Mercedes watches them for a moment but once she is satisfied that Kurt is okay she leaves them to it.
“Did you put this in my locker?” Puck asks, holding up a piece of paper.
“Yes,” Kurt replies, blushing.
“What is it?” Puck asks.
“It’s a flower,” Kurt replies, his index finger reaching out and tracing the flower he’d painstakingly copied from one of his mother’s old gardening books. “A white violet, to be precise.”
“Okay,” Puck says, sounding more confused than ever.
“Traditionally, every flower had its own special meaning,” Kurt explains, just as he had planned to. “A red rose means ‘I love you’ for example, whereas a peach rose means modesty.”
“I see,” Puck replies, looking at the piece of paper again. “And what does a white violet mean?”
“Let’s take a chance on happiness,” Kurt whispers, nervousness flooding him even though this had been the plan he felt most comfortable with.
“Interesting,” Puck murmurs, his mouth quirking into the beginnings of a smile.
There it is. The moment when Kurt’s world changes forever. Because Puck might look to anyone passing as though he is engaged in a perfectly ordinary conversation, but there is a happiness in his eyes that Kurt has never seen there before. This is something Puck really wants.
“Yes,” Kurt says quietly. “I was going to buy you an actual one, but you don’t exactly strike me as the flower-loving type.”
“I like this one,” Puck replies, folding up the paper and placing it in the front pocket of his jeans. “Does this mean I get to take you out on Saturday night?”
“No,” Kurt replies, his eyes twinkling merrily. “It means that I get to take you out. If you’ve no objections.”
Puck grins. “Kurt Hummel…are you asking permission to court me?”
“Perhaps,” Kurt replies, returning Puck’s smile. “Will you give it to me?”
Puck takes a step forward, leaning down so he can whisper in Kurt’s ear. “Darlin’, that’s just the start of what I’m going to give to you.”
Song Links:
1. Survivor's Eye of the Tiger
2. Nine Inch Nails - Closer. There's a warning for language on this one for those who've never heard it.
3. Johnny Cash singing The Beast in Me