My heart feels gone...
I don't know what to do anymore. I try and try and I loose every time. I'm leaving tomorrow. What if I never come back? It would make life so much more easy. But my life has never been easy. Life isn't easy. Life sucks. But then you look back and think wow why did I feel that way at that moment. I can't wait till I can look back at this moment and think I was just a sad little heart broken girl. But that moment will not come soon enough. I feel like the hurt will never go away. Like I will never feel okay with anything anymore. I guess I don't deserve to ever be happy in life right now. One bad thing after the other. And Sunday I'm turning 21, Happy Birthday to me! Right now I feel like saying FUCK me and FUCK the world! I'm sick of everyone telling me that life is going to be so much better one day. When the fuck is that one day? I feel like everyone will keep on "trying" to make me feel better. But who knows what tomorrow will bring? If there will be another day or not? I'm sick of playing the part of everyone's puppet. I'm sick of doing everything everyone else wants me to do. I want to crawl in a dark hole and stay there forever. But I can't do that. I don't have time to be sad or angry because life calls me everyday. I have to sweep my feelings under the rug one more time. I'm fucking sick of this shit! I'm sick of life calling! One day I'm just not going to pick up...