(no subject)
I would like to make a statement in defense or bachelorhood (bachelordom? whatever.)
I think my not being in "real relationships" has allowed me to realize that things aren't complicated. No matter how hard we try to make them complex, no matter how may notes I take, no matter the past, the prospects, the confusion, or even the deaths in life - once all the discontentment is left to settle into its trivial nature, things are simple. The judgment I'm worried about suddenly becomes the one I'll give myself, where I'll be in 10 years doesn't seem nearly as important as what I'll do tomorrow, and I've made the decision that this moment is completely separate from ones that preceded it. The moment I'm in comes from the past but it is not a part of it in any way. Just as blue and yellow make green but green in a color unique unto itself, any moment is independent within itself. Blue and yellow come together to create something that's only connection to them is that it is a color and past moments bleed into one another to create a present that has no connection to them except that they are all moments in time.
Of course we all still need to be responsible for our past and consider our futures but really we only do these things so we can feel free in our present moment (be that through setting to right past moments by helping others and explaining actions or feeling assured that future moments will place us in conditions we think we desire by planing, working, and learning)
I accredit this realization to my contentment in bachelorhood because this "way" ... you know what? I walked away from the computer, I just came back, and I have no idea where I was going with this. Maybe wanting something ... or not needing want ... or, I really don't know. oh well.
"One way of looking at speech is to say that it is a constant stratagem to cover nakedness."
-Pinter
I think my not being in "real relationships" has allowed me to realize that things aren't complicated. No matter how hard we try to make them complex, no matter how may notes I take, no matter the past, the prospects, the confusion, or even the deaths in life - once all the discontentment is left to settle into its trivial nature, things are simple. The judgment I'm worried about suddenly becomes the one I'll give myself, where I'll be in 10 years doesn't seem nearly as important as what I'll do tomorrow, and I've made the decision that this moment is completely separate from ones that preceded it. The moment I'm in comes from the past but it is not a part of it in any way. Just as blue and yellow make green but green in a color unique unto itself, any moment is independent within itself. Blue and yellow come together to create something that's only connection to them is that it is a color and past moments bleed into one another to create a present that has no connection to them except that they are all moments in time.
Of course we all still need to be responsible for our past and consider our futures but really we only do these things so we can feel free in our present moment (be that through setting to right past moments by helping others and explaining actions or feeling assured that future moments will place us in conditions we think we desire by planing, working, and learning)
I accredit this realization to my contentment in bachelorhood because this "way" ... you know what? I walked away from the computer, I just came back, and I have no idea where I was going with this. Maybe wanting something ... or not needing want ... or, I really don't know. oh well.
"One way of looking at speech is to say that it is a constant stratagem to cover nakedness."
-Pinter