May your days be merry and bright
I'm home now from Chicago where I got to spend time with
anarchist_nomad and
gyades and met
cheshcat for the first time. I had lots of fun. We made cookies and played games and enjoyed much silliness and frivolity, which is always nice.
I was glad to make it home safely. I was starting to fall asleep on my ride home but made it through.
Getting back to work today, I spent time acquainting the new person at work w/ information about the clients I will be transferring to her. It was kind of hard to tell her the important stuff and not feel like I was talking too long. I'm going to miss some of my people. They won't be "my" people anymore.
I will be getting to know new clients in different ways. Change, even good change, can be difficult for me.
Sending Christmas letters reminds me of how difficult it is to keep in touch with people, even people you love. I feel like there are so many people so scattered. Of course there are many I haven't talked to nearly enough. And some of them have disappeared. It saddens me when I get returned mail b/c someone inevitably forgets to update me when they move and I lose the ability to contact them. It may be an innocent oversight, but it feels like a deep rejection, like I've been permanently removed from their lives. Sometimes that is the end result because I can never find them again.
And lately it feels like I have had many conversations and introspections about love and attachment. How much can you love someone without feeling attached in a way that makes you somewhat emotionally needy? How much can you be detached and still love someone? Is it possible to love someone so much that you don't feel hurt when they don't love you back? Or is that not "real" love? I think it is the most real. But that is only theory, of course.
anarchist_nomad and
gyades and met
cheshcat for the first time. I had lots of fun. We made cookies and played games and enjoyed much silliness and frivolity, which is always nice.
I was glad to make it home safely. I was starting to fall asleep on my ride home but made it through.
Getting back to work today, I spent time acquainting the new person at work w/ information about the clients I will be transferring to her. It was kind of hard to tell her the important stuff and not feel like I was talking too long. I'm going to miss some of my people. They won't be "my" people anymore.
I will be getting to know new clients in different ways. Change, even good change, can be difficult for me.
Sending Christmas letters reminds me of how difficult it is to keep in touch with people, even people you love. I feel like there are so many people so scattered. Of course there are many I haven't talked to nearly enough. And some of them have disappeared. It saddens me when I get returned mail b/c someone inevitably forgets to update me when they move and I lose the ability to contact them. It may be an innocent oversight, but it feels like a deep rejection, like I've been permanently removed from their lives. Sometimes that is the end result because I can never find them again.
And lately it feels like I have had many conversations and introspections about love and attachment. How much can you love someone without feeling attached in a way that makes you somewhat emotionally needy? How much can you be detached and still love someone? Is it possible to love someone so much that you don't feel hurt when they don't love you back? Or is that not "real" love? I think it is the most real. But that is only theory, of course.