(no subject)
Religious beliefs are such a messy thing. I know that religion is a personal thing, but sometimes I'd like to just have the validation from someone else that someone, somewhere agrees with what I think about things. It's nice to not be alone in what you think. How do you find people to practice with when you believe that there's an element of truth in every religion and you can't find one that incorporates or addresses everything you believe? I was raised a Christian, a Protestant to be more specific, and an American Baptist to be even more specific than that. All of that teaching and advice and the truth that's holed up inside of that particular aspect of practicing religion are never going to let go of their hold on me, and I'm okay with most of that. I differ from American Baptists on issues of practice, ritual aspects and the like, but I agree with most of what their "defined" belief structure is because they essentially believe that every person has the right and obligation to decipher the Bible's message for themselves. There's a lot of leeway. However, what do you do when you see the Bible as something other than THE ULTIMATE GOD-WRITTEN TRUTH, God forbid? What if you're a practicing homosexual who believes that the God you know would not set millions of people up with biological attraction for others of the same sex and genuine feelings of love and then make it forbidden for you to be happy? Where does that put you? What if you disagree with the way the religion is practiced among millions of people who call themselves Christians? Where does that put you? What if you see and do and feel and experience things that aren't dealt with in the Bible? Where does that put you? And so I press on for more answers.
I've done research into so many of the world's major religions, only to find that, while I agree with some aspects of all of them, and can respect and understand the reasons why all of them exist, none of the religions I've looked at so far fit the way that I see the world. I've found that the closest combination so far for me is one of American Baptist Christianity, Orthodox Quakerism, and Wicca. But I have problems with all three of them.
Wicca puts a very strong emphasis on ceremony and ritual, which appeals to me. I've always felt the most calm and collected in religious ritual, and the idea of ritual makes sense to me. It also emphasizes care and respect of the earth, almost to the extreme, which is also something that I agree with. Where I run into the most problems with Wicca are the ideas of the use of magic and the way that the divine is expressed. I find it difficult to follow a dual divinity, in the form of God and Goddess, especially in the way that they're addressed through Wicca. In my mind, the divine is one entity, nongendered. That's just the way I see it. I also have some problems with the way magic is used in Wicca. Don't misunderstand me; I belief fully that what they call "magic" exists, and that each thing in the world possesses certain qualities - or powers, or energies, or whatever you want to call them - that can be used. I just don't believe that they could or should be used for our own gain. I have problems with the way that "do no harm" is implemented, because every action we do affects others somehow. It seems to me that magic is not something that should be jumped into lightly, or used for personal benefit in any way. Essentially, I have some problems with Wicca because it seems to be a strange duality of self-oriented and nature-oriented worldviews. It advocates things that don't seem to be able to exist together, at least in my mind.
Quakerism is probably the closest fit in belief structure, but it's simple enough that it does not cover everything I would like it to address. It begins with a belief that each person in the world has access to the divine, and that God speaks to each person individually, and that each person has a responsibility to act in the world based on their beliefs. Beyond that, Quakerism gets fuzzy. Some believe that the best way to access the Divine is through quiet, "unprogrammed" meetings of believers in which everyone waits in silence for God to speak to them. If you're led to speak, you speak, because someone else is meant to hear it to. Others lead more programmed methods of worship, led by a minister in a more protestant style. Some focus on the teachings of Christianity and the Bible; others feel that the individual messages you receive from God should be your teacher. All seem focused on the idea of social justice and equality, and open and welcoming to anyone. Quakerism doesn't really jump into the big questions, however. It doesn't tell us why humans suffer, or provide any sort of spiritual guidance or leadership other than what you hear in meeting. If you're questioning, then it's your job to find the answers. No one is going to help you do it.
I keep harboring this vague hope that I will someday come across a religion that fits me. Until then, I guess I'll just have to keep trying to find it while I practice my beliefs in my own lonely way.
I've done research into so many of the world's major religions, only to find that, while I agree with some aspects of all of them, and can respect and understand the reasons why all of them exist, none of the religions I've looked at so far fit the way that I see the world. I've found that the closest combination so far for me is one of American Baptist Christianity, Orthodox Quakerism, and Wicca. But I have problems with all three of them.
Wicca puts a very strong emphasis on ceremony and ritual, which appeals to me. I've always felt the most calm and collected in religious ritual, and the idea of ritual makes sense to me. It also emphasizes care and respect of the earth, almost to the extreme, which is also something that I agree with. Where I run into the most problems with Wicca are the ideas of the use of magic and the way that the divine is expressed. I find it difficult to follow a dual divinity, in the form of God and Goddess, especially in the way that they're addressed through Wicca. In my mind, the divine is one entity, nongendered. That's just the way I see it. I also have some problems with the way magic is used in Wicca. Don't misunderstand me; I belief fully that what they call "magic" exists, and that each thing in the world possesses certain qualities - or powers, or energies, or whatever you want to call them - that can be used. I just don't believe that they could or should be used for our own gain. I have problems with the way that "do no harm" is implemented, because every action we do affects others somehow. It seems to me that magic is not something that should be jumped into lightly, or used for personal benefit in any way. Essentially, I have some problems with Wicca because it seems to be a strange duality of self-oriented and nature-oriented worldviews. It advocates things that don't seem to be able to exist together, at least in my mind.
Quakerism is probably the closest fit in belief structure, but it's simple enough that it does not cover everything I would like it to address. It begins with a belief that each person in the world has access to the divine, and that God speaks to each person individually, and that each person has a responsibility to act in the world based on their beliefs. Beyond that, Quakerism gets fuzzy. Some believe that the best way to access the Divine is through quiet, "unprogrammed" meetings of believers in which everyone waits in silence for God to speak to them. If you're led to speak, you speak, because someone else is meant to hear it to. Others lead more programmed methods of worship, led by a minister in a more protestant style. Some focus on the teachings of Christianity and the Bible; others feel that the individual messages you receive from God should be your teacher. All seem focused on the idea of social justice and equality, and open and welcoming to anyone. Quakerism doesn't really jump into the big questions, however. It doesn't tell us why humans suffer, or provide any sort of spiritual guidance or leadership other than what you hear in meeting. If you're questioning, then it's your job to find the answers. No one is going to help you do it.
I keep harboring this vague hope that I will someday come across a religion that fits me. Until then, I guess I'll just have to keep trying to find it while I practice my beliefs in my own lonely way.