Sitting, Waiting, and Wishing.....
So I’m sitting here. Just sitting here. I’m waiting, and wishing. Wishing for a phone call, waiting for a text. Wishing for him to sign on, waiting for him to approach me.
These past few days I’ve had to completely ignore him. I have made it a point these past few days to check in with everyone in yearbook. Asking how they are doing, what they are working on, or finding out if they need anything. Who have I always skipped by?
It tears me up. Wednesday he was so sad. Slumped over his computer, hood up, and dead quiet. When Corinna pulled him outside. I wanted to go out there. At one point I did/ I just wanted to give him a hug. Let him know that I’m here for him. But Duke beat me there. I got dragged back in.
I’m not trying to avoid you. I love you. You know that. This whole thing has hurt me so badly, but this is hurting me more. It tears me up that I need to keep space from you. I just need to come up for air. The most important part, however, is that you understand. You respect and love me enough that you recognize this. You are showing your love more than any blog ever can.
I think I’m ready though. I’m ready to sit down and talk, but this one is up to you. I’m going to wait for you to come and talk to me. I want to wait until you are ready. I’ve never done things this way. It has always been when I’m ready. But it’s your turn. When you are ready, I’m ready.
So I’m sitting here. Just sitting here. I’m waiting, and wishing. Wishing for a phone call, waiting for a text. Wishing for him to sign on, waiting for him to approach me.
Waiting for him to tell me that he is ready to talk.
These past few days I’ve had to completely ignore him. I have made it a point these past few days to check in with everyone in yearbook. Asking how they are doing, what they are working on, or finding out if they need anything. Who have I always skipped by?
It tears me up. Wednesday he was so sad. Slumped over his computer, hood up, and dead quiet. When Corinna pulled him outside. I wanted to go out there. At one point I did/ I just wanted to give him a hug. Let him know that I’m here for him. But Duke beat me there. I got dragged back in.
I’m not trying to avoid you. I love you. You know that. This whole thing has hurt me so badly, but this is hurting me more. It tears me up that I need to keep space from you. I just need to come up for air. The most important part, however, is that you understand. You respect and love me enough that you recognize this. You are showing your love more than any blog ever can.
I think I’m ready though. I’m ready to sit down and talk, but this one is up to you. I’m going to wait for you to come and talk to me. I want to wait until you are ready. I’ve never done things this way. It has always been when I’m ready. But it’s your turn. When you are ready, I’m ready.
So I’m sitting here. Just sitting here. I’m waiting, and wishing. Wishing for a phone call, waiting for a text. Wishing for him to sign on, waiting for him to approach me.
Waiting for him to tell me that he is ready to talk.