(no subject)
Well I havent written in a while. Me and Edmund broke up, but got back together. I broke up with him because of his horrible attitude. He gets in his moods and takes it out on me. I got tired of it and ended it. It was so much drama, we talked about it and ended up getting back together. That same night me and Vanessa got in some huge and unnecessary fight. What was meant to be a joke ended up almost ruining my friendship with Vanessa. So if you read this I am so sorry. Something horrible happened to my sister which I am not allowed to discuss. It made me realize how short life can really be. It makes me wonder if holding a grudge with Adolfo is really necessary. I hate the fact that we ended on such bad terms. I now know that we can not make it work anymore. We have tried to many times and have not yet suceeded in making it work. There are times where I do miss him unbearably but I guess I need to face reality. The reality is, although I believe he was my first love, it wont work anymore. I just have to let go, I cant keep being this way wondering what might have been. In my mind I have been making myself believe that in some time we would be able to be together, but we ahve to many obstacles in our way that we werent strong enough to overcome. I still love him but I need to let go, although at times I want to be with him, I think I am ready to forgive him for the all the wrong he has done, and finally say goodbye.