The art of seduction
My needs are, perhaps, peculiar. To me they seem quite normal and well within the range of what a sexually aware woman might want. However, my difficulty in procuring a partner or partners who are willing and able to meet those needs makes me question that normality.
In the Beginning, which was about January, all I was looking for was a sex partner. My need for sexual release with another human being wasn't being met. It didn't take long to find a man who was willing to fill that roll, and soon enough my husband returned to filling that need himself. With that need met, my need changed to one for attention and more cerebral stimulation.
I'm finding now, as I search for a partner, that this cerebral, erotic stimulation seems to be a foreign idea to most men. What I crave is a thorough, almost tortuous seduction that need not even take place in person However, while the men I encounter seem quite capable of describing how they'd like to "fuck" me in descriptions filled with crude and cruder terms for our relative genitalia, they don't seem to grasp that there is even the possibility of so much more to eroticism than a cheap porn dialogue.
Perhaps it's a simple gender difference. Men are more hardwired to go right for penetration, or any kind of stimulation involving their penises. It might also be over exposure to crude sexual stimulation, whether it's actual pornography or just basic television commercials. There's also a strong possibility that the anonymity of the Internet allows some people to feel free to be far less subtle than they ever would be in person, just because they can. Maybe they just have never been exposed to such genteel speech, especially in a sexual context, and can't imagine how much more effective it is than just cutting to the chase.
This is so terribly disappointing. I CRAVE the seduction. Men, I could describe touching and kissing your fingers in such a way that you'd be hard and breathing heavy reading it, all the while never mentioning copulation. Only once in my 35 years has a man moved from a first kiss to my first orgasm with him in under five minutes, and it could be said there were 20 years of sexual tension behind it to make up for the lack of technical foreplay. Someone completely new in my life would never, NEVER get that kind of opportunity without a considerable amount of mental stimulation before hand.
Seriously, the same men that want to start off with a statement like "Wow, you are so fuckable," or "I can't wait to be fucking that hot wet pussy," would probably never, ever say such a thing to a woman in person and expect to get anywhere. Why is this acceptable online, and why are results expected from it? Why do they think it'll be considered sexy in an online and nearly anonymous context? I appreciate the need to get there, but I believe that my need to get "warmed up" should be appreciated and fulfilled via electronic media as much as it should be in person.
But again, I'm willing to accept that what I want is actually so foreign that it's unlikely I'll find it--not again anytime soon, anyway. Alas, A "got it," but he's no longer much of a part of my life, and as much as I miss that interaction that alone isn't worth putting out yet more effort to maintain/repair/rejuvenate a relationship in which he shows no interest.
Maybe this is why I am so much more interested in finding a man who already has a steady romantic partner. Some of his basic sexual needs will already be cared for, and he'd be more free to concentrate on the build up where I was concerned, and less about the raw need.
In the Beginning, which was about January, all I was looking for was a sex partner. My need for sexual release with another human being wasn't being met. It didn't take long to find a man who was willing to fill that roll, and soon enough my husband returned to filling that need himself. With that need met, my need changed to one for attention and more cerebral stimulation.
I'm finding now, as I search for a partner, that this cerebral, erotic stimulation seems to be a foreign idea to most men. What I crave is a thorough, almost tortuous seduction that need not even take place in person However, while the men I encounter seem quite capable of describing how they'd like to "fuck" me in descriptions filled with crude and cruder terms for our relative genitalia, they don't seem to grasp that there is even the possibility of so much more to eroticism than a cheap porn dialogue.
Perhaps it's a simple gender difference. Men are more hardwired to go right for penetration, or any kind of stimulation involving their penises. It might also be over exposure to crude sexual stimulation, whether it's actual pornography or just basic television commercials. There's also a strong possibility that the anonymity of the Internet allows some people to feel free to be far less subtle than they ever would be in person, just because they can. Maybe they just have never been exposed to such genteel speech, especially in a sexual context, and can't imagine how much more effective it is than just cutting to the chase.
This is so terribly disappointing. I CRAVE the seduction. Men, I could describe touching and kissing your fingers in such a way that you'd be hard and breathing heavy reading it, all the while never mentioning copulation. Only once in my 35 years has a man moved from a first kiss to my first orgasm with him in under five minutes, and it could be said there were 20 years of sexual tension behind it to make up for the lack of technical foreplay. Someone completely new in my life would never, NEVER get that kind of opportunity without a considerable amount of mental stimulation before hand.
Seriously, the same men that want to start off with a statement like "Wow, you are so fuckable," or "I can't wait to be fucking that hot wet pussy," would probably never, ever say such a thing to a woman in person and expect to get anywhere. Why is this acceptable online, and why are results expected from it? Why do they think it'll be considered sexy in an online and nearly anonymous context? I appreciate the need to get there, but I believe that my need to get "warmed up" should be appreciated and fulfilled via electronic media as much as it should be in person.
But again, I'm willing to accept that what I want is actually so foreign that it's unlikely I'll find it--not again anytime soon, anyway. Alas, A "got it," but he's no longer much of a part of my life, and as much as I miss that interaction that alone isn't worth putting out yet more effort to maintain/repair/rejuvenate a relationship in which he shows no interest.
Maybe this is why I am so much more interested in finding a man who already has a steady romantic partner. Some of his basic sexual needs will already be cared for, and he'd be more free to concentrate on the build up where I was concerned, and less about the raw need.