All quiet on the western front... As if!
My grandfather has been in the hospital since Thanksgiving weekend. He has had several health problems in recent years, was tested for Leukemia (since his platelets were low and never came up), went thru shots that were something kind of like chemo to treat the platelet issue, it helped but they never really figured out really what was the cause. He broke his back when he was younger falling off a 2 story building when he was younger as a carpenter. Well let's just say that is a rather impressive list at this time. I had talked to my mom yesterday, and she told me it did not look good, he has been unresponsive. He is on a ventilator when they tried turning it off his heart when crazy. They also told my grandmother that he would most likely not be going home from the hospital again. I have contemplated this, and even come to terms with his passing, but now that it has come down to it I am not ready. Mom has left to go to Arkansas, to try and make it for the meeting with the doctors. They have said there is no options if it was not for the blood issue they could try surgery. I know he is suffering, and it really in better at this point for him to move on. I feel soooo selfish.
Plus we are going to my dad's for Christmas, and I am scared... I have not seen him since he got diagnosed with cancer. It was confirmed it is stage four, they tried chemo and it seemed to be working. Then he was having so many problems with the side effects, and it was not making enough progress against the main tumor in his lungs. They have switched to radiation, and we wait to see how this works. I am just worried about how he is going to be, what will he look like? I know he has started having some memory issues, he forgot Al's birthday and how old she is, he also forgot a phone conversation that we had about Christmas plans. I am just not sure how well I will handle it, in consideration of everything with my grandfather.
As well as a really good friend being very sick and in the hospital. He is in really bad shape.
As well as I have not been able to find a job...
So with everything going on, I am not ready for the Yule season this year, hard to be positive when all you want to do is sit in a corner and cry. I just feel overwhelmed with this all. It is a lot to handle, and well I am just having troubles living up to the task.
Otherwise life is going well... Ha ha ha!
Raven_Lunatic and I are doing great, it is so cool to have worked thru issues to a point that things are going great. We have just determined that we are who we are, and that our relationship is what it is, and well it works for us.
Al turned 10 a couple weeks ago... we had to reschedule her party since mom was sick. We had a great time though just us and a friend of ours.
Merry Yule to all! Hope you have a great Mother Night!
Plus we are going to my dad's for Christmas, and I am scared... I have not seen him since he got diagnosed with cancer. It was confirmed it is stage four, they tried chemo and it seemed to be working. Then he was having so many problems with the side effects, and it was not making enough progress against the main tumor in his lungs. They have switched to radiation, and we wait to see how this works. I am just worried about how he is going to be, what will he look like? I know he has started having some memory issues, he forgot Al's birthday and how old she is, he also forgot a phone conversation that we had about Christmas plans. I am just not sure how well I will handle it, in consideration of everything with my grandfather.
As well as a really good friend being very sick and in the hospital. He is in really bad shape.
As well as I have not been able to find a job...
So with everything going on, I am not ready for the Yule season this year, hard to be positive when all you want to do is sit in a corner and cry. I just feel overwhelmed with this all. It is a lot to handle, and well I am just having troubles living up to the task.
Otherwise life is going well... Ha ha ha!
Raven_Lunatic and I are doing great, it is so cool to have worked thru issues to a point that things are going great. We have just determined that we are who we are, and that our relationship is what it is, and well it works for us.
Al turned 10 a couple weeks ago... we had to reschedule her party since mom was sick. We had a great time though just us and a friend of ours.
Merry Yule to all! Hope you have a great Mother Night!