man fears spider
This morning I awoke to cat activity and a swearing man tromping around the house. Unaware of quite what was going on, I stumbled into the bathroom, which contained a very angry male balancing a contact lens on the tip of his finger like a tiny faerie crown. Once I had the bathroom to myself, I realised what might have been contributory to this
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Mine goes something like:
5:45 Something wakes me up. It sounds like the sort of noise G makes when I snore, but more frustrated. Hm, wonder what that was. Go back to sleep.
6:00 Alarm clock goes off, G gets out of bed. I know he has some reading to do before he goes to work. I roll over to take over the whole bed.
8:10 Anya starts meowing; I wonder why G hasn't woken me up at 8. I get up to find he's entirely disappeared. In the meantime I haven't heard him have a shower, get dressed, or show any other signs of existence.
I suspect his goes like:
5:30 SHE IS SNORING AGAIN. WILL I EVER GET SOME SLEEP?
5:35 ARGH I HAVE TO BE UP IN 25 MINUTES ARGH!
5:45 WAKE THE FVCK UP AND STOP SNORING!!!!
5:50 Great, she's stopped, but now I can't sleep.
5:55 Maybe if I try really hard.
5:59 ahh zzzzzzzz
6:00 AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
6:15 Having had a shower, now I'd really like to put my socks on while sitting on the bed, but her foot's there. And there. Wait, how does one person colonize an entire bed?
6:20 Christ. I have to do some reading, but I can hear her snoring all the way through the bedroom and living room doors. No wonder the neighbor has to turn her music up so loudly.
6:25 Fvck it, I'm going to work.
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