[FUTURE] -- On the way to Thailand
The plane reached cruising altitude, the pilot turned off the fasten seat belt sign and Annie closed her eyes and relaxed in her seat. The quiet didn't last.
"I thought you said you weren't going to jump back into... that."
Her sigh was audible, but she kept her eyes closed. "Is this going to be a problem?"
"No." She felt him shift and knew he was adjusting his tie before he got comfortable himself. He did it on every flight, every time. "I'm just worried about you."
"Everyone keeps saying that," Annie said, cracking an eye and turning toward him. "I can handle myself."
"I know you can handle yourself, but can you handle him?" Jai's expression didn't show any kind of jealousy, just concern. Annie wasn't sure if that was because there was no jealousy or because he was just really good at hiding it.
She gave a small shrug and shifted in the seat so she could use his shoulder as a pillow. Might as well get some rest. She'd never been any good at sleeping on planes, except with Jai. "There's nothing to handle."
"Just remember what you want from life."
Annie rolled her eyes and lifted her head. The man sitting next to her was the picture of innocence. Now that she knew was an act and it irked her a little that he was trying to act like he was worried for her. "What are you saying?"
Jai's expression didn't change. "He's almost sixty, Annie. An entirely different generation. He's achieved his life goals, his career goals. He's working on retirement and you're at the height of your career. By the time you're ready to settle down, he'll be dead."
She couldn't stop her mouth from dropping open. "Did you really just say that?"
He could tell he'd gone too far and backpedaled. "Remember the night we got really drunk in Paris and you said if you weren't married by thirty-five, you'd marry me?"
"I was really drunk."
"You'll be thirty-five in less than six months."
Annie sighed. This was not how top-secret missions to foreign countries were supposed to start. They were both professionals, even if they were ex... somethings.
No, she admitted to herself. That's not fair. Jai's my ex-boyfriend. And my partner. And he's concerned. Reading more into it was useless.
"It'll be okay, Jai." Reaching out, she squeezed his hand.
"Even if you had kids now, and that's nine months from now, now? He'd still be eighty when they graduated college. Is that fair to them? To you?"
Annie didn't want to listen anymore. "Enough. It's not some kind of race or competition." Tilting her head up, she gave him a smile that bordered on sad. "I love you, but I don't love you. I never did."
Her smiled was returned to her, mirrored almost exactly in his face. "I know."
Resting her head on his shoulder again, she felt him kiss the top of her head and she sighed. Having her own fears and worries was one thing. Having Jai Wilcox, of all people, vocalize them for her? Made them real. Quietly, she said, "You should nap, too."
"Later."
"I thought you said you weren't going to jump back into... that."
Her sigh was audible, but she kept her eyes closed. "Is this going to be a problem?"
"No." She felt him shift and knew he was adjusting his tie before he got comfortable himself. He did it on every flight, every time. "I'm just worried about you."
"Everyone keeps saying that," Annie said, cracking an eye and turning toward him. "I can handle myself."
"I know you can handle yourself, but can you handle him?" Jai's expression didn't show any kind of jealousy, just concern. Annie wasn't sure if that was because there was no jealousy or because he was just really good at hiding it.
She gave a small shrug and shifted in the seat so she could use his shoulder as a pillow. Might as well get some rest. She'd never been any good at sleeping on planes, except with Jai. "There's nothing to handle."
"Just remember what you want from life."
Annie rolled her eyes and lifted her head. The man sitting next to her was the picture of innocence. Now that she knew was an act and it irked her a little that he was trying to act like he was worried for her. "What are you saying?"
Jai's expression didn't change. "He's almost sixty, Annie. An entirely different generation. He's achieved his life goals, his career goals. He's working on retirement and you're at the height of your career. By the time you're ready to settle down, he'll be dead."
She couldn't stop her mouth from dropping open. "Did you really just say that?"
He could tell he'd gone too far and backpedaled. "Remember the night we got really drunk in Paris and you said if you weren't married by thirty-five, you'd marry me?"
"I was really drunk."
"You'll be thirty-five in less than six months."
Annie sighed. This was not how top-secret missions to foreign countries were supposed to start. They were both professionals, even if they were ex... somethings.
No, she admitted to herself. That's not fair. Jai's my ex-boyfriend. And my partner. And he's concerned. Reading more into it was useless.
"It'll be okay, Jai." Reaching out, she squeezed his hand.
"Even if you had kids now, and that's nine months from now, now? He'd still be eighty when they graduated college. Is that fair to them? To you?"
Annie didn't want to listen anymore. "Enough. It's not some kind of race or competition." Tilting her head up, she gave him a smile that bordered on sad. "I love you, but I don't love you. I never did."
Her smiled was returned to her, mirrored almost exactly in his face. "I know."
Resting her head on his shoulder again, she felt him kiss the top of her head and she sighed. Having her own fears and worries was one thing. Having Jai Wilcox, of all people, vocalize them for her? Made them real. Quietly, she said, "You should nap, too."
"Later."