........... stress.
so today sucked.
actually, this week pretty much sucked.
I called out twice this week... i really hate calling out. i get so scared and i feel like shit afterwards. even though i was truly sick and couldnt go in.. i still feel bad. =/
i watched the dogs on saturday til sunday. It was so boring... Derek couldnt be there because he was running with Amanda, a girl from work... yea. i was so upset. then when i picked him up he ate and fell right to sleep... we didnt get time to hang out.
hes inviting her over again tomorrow. to play video games. I get upset and feel left out because neither of them invited me to go running with them... Derek said its cause id just slow them down... but I was the one who wanted to start running with derek months ago...
yea, im jealous. shes a nerd like derek. and shes pretty. 6_6
siiigh...
today derek told me that Brian is getting sick of looking at my rolled up pads in the trash. (what am i supposed to do?? flush em??) and derek said "why do u have to go thru so many pads?!"
theres like... 3-4 in there. thats it. an i change em alot cause my period just started so its heavy. hes so stupid. as if i should have to explain my period to him, a guy.
soo i really dont know what he expects me to do. i use pads over tampons cause: 1) theyre more comfortable. 2) theyre safer (from tss) 3) they dont leak and can hold alot more blood. 0.o
an more importantly, i shouldnt have to change my FEMINE WAYS cause he doesnt feel like seeing my ROLLED UP PADS in the TRASHCAN. if they were unraveled yes, i could see the difference. but theyre sealed. very good.
so i got pissed about that for a while.
then me and derek decided to go scarf shopping so we went to Kohls. let me tell u how much fun I had there today...
we looked at the scarves but they were too girly for derek so we started looking around for other stuff we may need. i saw this really cool fidora and it was on sale for $4 so i asked Derek to put it on so i can take a pic but he was all "I dont feel like it." really nasty like. its not like i was asking much.
then I saw mens pj pants on sale buy 1 get 1 and I told Derek about them because he only has one pair at home so i figured maybe hed like to get 2 more.
"I dont need any!"
then we looked at socks for him, and he wanted 'no show' socks. (socks that cant be seen when your wearing shoes.)
D- "look for no show socks"
me- "theyre right here.."
D- "Those are low rise! not no show! its not that hard!"
so I got pissed and walked away so i can look for stuff for me. then like 5 mins later i went to look for him and i saw him walk out the door. then i get a phone call
"where the fuck did you go?!"
"Im right here... i just watched u walk out."
"I was fucking looking for you! whyd u walk away like some kid????"
"Whatre u talking about? I was shopping around, an i wasnt even that far from you"
"Yea right! I was looking for you all over the fucking store"
"if you really did look for me, you woulda found me since i was right around the corner from you."
then he started yelling so I hung up on him. I turned around cause I didnt want to go outside to him... i felt like crying. then he came in and grabbed me by the arm and pushed me out of the store.
he kept saying i was acting like a kid and that it pisses him off when i walk away from him. at this point i was so angry at him. then coinicidentally, my Aunt Kris walked by and asked what was wrong with me. I said cramps tho... which was partly true. then we sat in the car for a good while and fought more.
I told him his whole attitude today fucking pissed me off. but he denied he had one... so nothing was settled. I got aggrivated so I drove over to Spirit Halloween and we went in and looked around. Derek bought me a bat to try to cheer me up. whatever.
they didnt have my costume.
we stopped at pepboys real quick to get a tire qoute and look for brakes.... i really gotta fix my cassette player.... =/
then we went to Halloween Adventure and I tried on my Indian costume and it fit : ) i didnt buy it yet tho. ima wait for the supremes.
then we got home and derek was talking to Amanda on aim. like its not weird enough that he txts her all day... yea im worried about that. of course i am. but i want to trust derek...
i hope things start getting better for me. i mean... this weather should make me happy. but its not.
actually, this week pretty much sucked.
I called out twice this week... i really hate calling out. i get so scared and i feel like shit afterwards. even though i was truly sick and couldnt go in.. i still feel bad. =/
i watched the dogs on saturday til sunday. It was so boring... Derek couldnt be there because he was running with Amanda, a girl from work... yea. i was so upset. then when i picked him up he ate and fell right to sleep... we didnt get time to hang out.
hes inviting her over again tomorrow. to play video games. I get upset and feel left out because neither of them invited me to go running with them... Derek said its cause id just slow them down... but I was the one who wanted to start running with derek months ago...
yea, im jealous. shes a nerd like derek. and shes pretty. 6_6
siiigh...
today derek told me that Brian is getting sick of looking at my rolled up pads in the trash. (what am i supposed to do?? flush em??) and derek said "why do u have to go thru so many pads?!"
theres like... 3-4 in there. thats it. an i change em alot cause my period just started so its heavy. hes so stupid. as if i should have to explain my period to him, a guy.
soo i really dont know what he expects me to do. i use pads over tampons cause: 1) theyre more comfortable. 2) theyre safer (from tss) 3) they dont leak and can hold alot more blood. 0.o
an more importantly, i shouldnt have to change my FEMINE WAYS cause he doesnt feel like seeing my ROLLED UP PADS in the TRASHCAN. if they were unraveled yes, i could see the difference. but theyre sealed. very good.
so i got pissed about that for a while.
then me and derek decided to go scarf shopping so we went to Kohls. let me tell u how much fun I had there today...
we looked at the scarves but they were too girly for derek so we started looking around for other stuff we may need. i saw this really cool fidora and it was on sale for $4 so i asked Derek to put it on so i can take a pic but he was all "I dont feel like it." really nasty like. its not like i was asking much.
then I saw mens pj pants on sale buy 1 get 1 and I told Derek about them because he only has one pair at home so i figured maybe hed like to get 2 more.
"I dont need any!"
then we looked at socks for him, and he wanted 'no show' socks. (socks that cant be seen when your wearing shoes.)
D- "look for no show socks"
me- "theyre right here.."
D- "Those are low rise! not no show! its not that hard!"
so I got pissed and walked away so i can look for stuff for me. then like 5 mins later i went to look for him and i saw him walk out the door. then i get a phone call
"where the fuck did you go?!"
"Im right here... i just watched u walk out."
"I was fucking looking for you! whyd u walk away like some kid????"
"Whatre u talking about? I was shopping around, an i wasnt even that far from you"
"Yea right! I was looking for you all over the fucking store"
"if you really did look for me, you woulda found me since i was right around the corner from you."
then he started yelling so I hung up on him. I turned around cause I didnt want to go outside to him... i felt like crying. then he came in and grabbed me by the arm and pushed me out of the store.
he kept saying i was acting like a kid and that it pisses him off when i walk away from him. at this point i was so angry at him. then coinicidentally, my Aunt Kris walked by and asked what was wrong with me. I said cramps tho... which was partly true. then we sat in the car for a good while and fought more.
I told him his whole attitude today fucking pissed me off. but he denied he had one... so nothing was settled. I got aggrivated so I drove over to Spirit Halloween and we went in and looked around. Derek bought me a bat to try to cheer me up. whatever.
they didnt have my costume.
we stopped at pepboys real quick to get a tire qoute and look for brakes.... i really gotta fix my cassette player.... =/
then we went to Halloween Adventure and I tried on my Indian costume and it fit : ) i didnt buy it yet tho. ima wait for the supremes.
then we got home and derek was talking to Amanda on aim. like its not weird enough that he txts her all day... yea im worried about that. of course i am. but i want to trust derek...
i hope things start getting better for me. i mean... this weather should make me happy. but its not.