Collision chapter 32
Chapter 32
Luke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His mother wanted him to hook up with some random girl just so he could look heterosexual. Even if he was straight, he wouldn’t want to use somebody like that.
“Mom, no.” He said, his hands coming up defensively. “I really don’t want to start dating some poor girl. That’s the opposite of what I want to do.” Luke swallowed nervously.
His mother pushed her chair back and stood up from the table. She went to the kitchen to get some more coffee. She continued to talk to Luke over her shoulder.
“What do you mean the opposite? You don’t want to date? You want to stay single?” She returned from the kitchen with the coffee pot in her hands.
“But that doesn’t make any sense, honey. You’re at the right age to settle down, it doesn’t have to interfere with you career. In fact, it can-“She went on.
“Mom, stop.” Luke cut her off.
“What’s the matter? Why are you acting like this?” Lily asked, acting a little upset.
Luke shifted to look at his father with pleading eyes, wanting him to understand.
Holden, who had been silent until then, cleared his throat and put a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I think Luke is trying to tell us something honey. Why don’t you let him talk?” He spoke softly, giving Luke a squeeze. He looked at Luke with understanding and encouraging eyes.
Luke looked back at Holden, gratitude and relief washing through him. It made him breathe a little easier.
“Thank you dad.” He whispered.
Lily looked from Holden to Luke and back to Holden, confusion etched on her face. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about Holden?”
With his father’s hand still warm on his shoulder, Luke mustered up the courage he so desperately needed. He reached out over the table and took his mother’s hand in both of his own.
“Mom, listen to me. I don’t want you to start a lawsuit and I certainly don’t want you to find me a girlfriend. I don’t want a girlfriend, I never have and I never will.” He started.
Lily shook her head. “ Why not? I understand you’ve focused on your career until now, but why not in the future?”
Luke took a deep shaky breath, tightened his grip on his mother’s hand and said, “It’s not that I don’t want someone to spend my life with, because I do. It’s just that it won’t be with a girl or a woman.” Luke paused briefly and then added, “Because I like guys, Mom. Men. And I’d want a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.”
Luke kept looking at Lily, trapping her with his gaze. He saw disbelief in her eyes and something else he couldn’t place.
“Are you saying that… these rumours are not just rumours? That it’s true?” Lily asked slowly.
Luke swallowed, trying to force down the lump that was rising in his throat. “Yes mom, I am gay. Or as you say a homosexual.” He smiled a little bitter.
Lily jumped up from her chair, shaking off Luke’s hand as she did. She looked at Luke for a few moments before turning away, muttering “I need some air.” With that she rushed out the door.
Luke and Holden heard her leave the house, slamming the door shut, causing Luke to wince.
Luke cleared his throat, “That went well, I think?” He tried to smile, but he was closer to tears.
Holden moved to sit next to him and pulled him into his arms. “She’ll come around, son. She just needs a little time.”
Luke let his head rest against his father’s shoulder; he needed it, the warmth and the comfort. “What about you? You seemed to get it even before I said anything.”
Holden smiled into Luke’s hair. “When I saw the news about you, first I thought it was a lie and that they were out to get you. But the more I thought about it, the more it would make sense. So, when you walked in this morning, all nervous and anxious, I figured out what you came here to do.” Holden pulled back to look Luke into his eyes. “And I want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me at all. I don’t care. Just… be happy. And careful. Be careful too, okay?” Holden ended with a smile.
While listening to his father, Luke had to blink a few times to keep the tears that were forming in his eyes from spilling over. His voice however cracked a little when he answered.
“Thank you, dad. And I am always careful, you know that.” He hugged Holden one more time, squeezing him tightly, before releasing him and falling back into his chair.
“Now,” Holden said carefully, “is there anything else you’d like to tell me? Like why you chose to come out to us now?”
Luke cheeks turned pink and he nervously averted his eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I think there is more to this story. Something happened that triggered this whole thing. Am I right?” Holden asked.
Luke fell silent for a few moments. He never thought his father knew him very well, because while Luke was growing up Holden always stayed on the sidelines; he was always a little aloof. He now understood that while his father kept himself apart from his upbringing for the most part, Holden certainly had observed him and probably knew him better than his mother who spent a lot of time with Luke. Holden’s attitude and comments today proved that.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Luke admitted softly. “There is more. I’ve actually… met someone.” The colour on Luke’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink.
“You remember when I was hospitalized after crashing into Kevin Jackson during training? Well, there was this doctor who treated both me and Kevin, and he and I have gotten really close ever since. Like, really close. He’s so amazing and he just gets me, unlike anyone ever before. And he makes me feel like I’m worthy. As a person, you know? He likes me, just as I am. Not because I’m famous or rich. He just likes me.” Luke’s eyes started to light up and Holden watched it happen.
He really didn’t care that Luke was gay, but he feared for him. Holden feared that Luke’s life was going to be tougher and more difficult; things that others took for granted were not so normal for him. Simple things like marriage or even just being accepted as a person. And Holden didn’t even dare to think about the public’s opinion. He knew how ruthless the papers could be, especially in Spain.
He raised his eyebrows at Luke. “So, a doctor huh? Nice.”
Luke snickered. “Funny, dad.”
He turned more serious. “His name is Reid and I was thinking of inviting him to Oakdale to see where I grew up and meet you and mom. But I don’t even know if mom would be willing to meet him.” Luke’s shoulders dropped a little with mentioning his mother and his expressive brown eyes turned sad.
“Maybe she just needs a little time, Luke. I’m sure she’ll come around.” Holden said reassuringly.
“You really think so?” Luke asked with a spark of hope, even though he found it hard to really believe that.
At that moment they heard tires screech and the sound of a car driving away. They both turned their heads towards the window and watched the tail lights of Lily’s car fade into the distance.
Holden didn’t reply to Luke, but just smiled. If he was honest, he really didn’t know if Lily would ever really accept Luke.
*
Luke had been staying at his grandmother’s cabin for a week now and he was getting used to being there. He could sleep in, did little to no training, and eat whatever he wanted as long as it was somewhat healthy. He certainly didn’t want to have to lose any extra weight at the start of the new season.
He had gone to Old Town a few times, and had coffee at Java, either alone or with his father. Sometimes Noah would take his break while Luke was there and they’d chat about all sorts of things. Noah was easy to talk to if not somewhat superficial, but Luke was glad he was making friends. Sort of.
He spoke to Reid every evening. He had told him how badly his mother had reacted to his coming out and that Luke still hadn’t heard from her. Holden had told him to give his mother time and to let her come to him. So he just waited for her to finally take that step and accept him as he was.
Reid was supportive, tried to ease his mind and lured him into some hot dirty phone-sex that definitely took Luke’s mind of things and left him panting, at least for a while.
Luke had asked Reid to come visit him, but Reid was extremely busy at the hospital. He just spent weeks away from his job and a lot of people were waiting for him. Although Reid hadn’t said no to visiting, he also could not give him a date when he would be able to fly out.
It was late in the afternoon and Luke just woke up from a nap. He was trying to decide whether he was going to take a shower or soak in a long hot bubble bath when the phone in the living room rang. He hurried towards it in his sleep pants and answered a little breathless.
“Hello?”
“Hey Luke, it’s me, Noah.”
“Noah?” Luke frowned. He didn’t remember giving Noah the number to the cabin.
“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind, but I ran into your father and asked him for your number.” Noah said apologetically.
Luke rubbed his eyes and silently cursed his father for giving away some of his privacy, even if it was to a friend.
“No, no. It’s okay. I just didn’t expect anyone to have this number. That’s all.” He replied. “What’s up?”
“Uhm, I was just wondering if you would like to go out for dinner tonight and, you know, hang out?”
Luke bit his lip. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hang out with Noah. He was an okay guy, but Luke always felt a little uneasy around him. He got the impression that Noah maybe wanted more that to just be friends. He really didn’t want to lead Noah on, even though he kept things strictly friendly . Because even if Reid was not be in the picture, Luke still would not want to be with Noah, he wasn’t attracted to him at all.
Noah sensed Luke’s hesitation and added hastily, “We’ll just go to Al’s and maybe have a drink at Yo’s later?”
Luke figured he had to eat anyway, so he accepted Noah’s invitation and agreed to meet him at Al’s at seven thirty.
There would be no time for a long luxurious bath now, so he took a hot shower, thinking of Reid. He let his hands roam over his own body, touching himself in a way that would get him off fast. He whispered Reid’s name when he came and slumped against the tiles. He missed Reid’s hands on him, missed being able to find a safe place in his arms.
He missed Reid all the time, but sometimes, like now, the ache for him seemed to consume Luke. He closed his eyes and let the spray hit his face, the water washing a few stray tears away.
After the shower he quickly dressed in some low slung, worn jeans and a soft, dark red shirt. He yanked his sneakers on his feet, styled his hair with little to no effort and was ready to head out the door. He decided to leave the car in the garage and walk to town. If he was going to have a few drinks, he wasn’t going to drive. Besides, it wasn’t a long walk and the weather was still nice.
When Luke arrived at Al’s, Noah wasn’t there yet. So he quickly slid into a booth and grabbed a menu.
After a few minutes, he felt someone stop at the table and voice said. “Well, if it isn’t Luke Snyder.”
Luke looked up and saw Casey Hughes standing there, a big grin on his face. He jumped up and enveloped Casey in a hug, his own smile matching Casey’s.
“Case! It’s so good to see you!”
They patted each other on the back and smiled like couple of loons. They had been good friends at school, but lost sight of each other after Luke moved away. Luke had always felt a little guilty for not keeping in touch with him even though Casey didn’t try to contact him either.
“I didn’t know you were in town, dude!” Casey sat down opposite of Luke in the booth. “Are you spending the entire summer here?”
Luke shook his head. “No, not the entire summer but probably a few weeks. I’ve only been in town for a week.”
“Well, let’s celebrate the reunion of Luke and Casey with a few beers.” Casey looked around him for a waiter and when he spotted one, he shouted, “Hey! Two beers here!”
Then he leaned forward with his elbows on the table and smacked Luke on the shoulder. “This is great! We should hang out tonight and get really drunk!”
Luke laughed. “I’d like to, but I’m meeting someone here for dinner.”
Casey wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh? Anyone I know?”
Luke grinned again. “No, not like that. He’s just a friend. Maybe you do know him, it’s Noah.”
“Oh, Noah.” Casey said while rolling his eyes. He leaned back asked with a frown, “Are you into him?”
“What? No!” Luke hastily reacted. “Why would you think that?” He accepted his beer from the waitress and took a big swig.
“Because he is gay and if everything I heard over the last week is true, so are you.” Casey stated.
“That doesn’t mean that just because we’re both gay we automatically end up together. God, Casey, that’s not how it works.” Luke said a little frustrated.
Casey threw his hands up. “Hey, I know that. But it could be, right? I don’t know who you’re attracted to. Anyway, I’m glad, because he’s kind of full of himself. And even I can see you’re way too hot for him.” He smirked.
Luke couldn’t help but laugh. Casey’s just talked about being gay just as easily as about the colour of his hair. It was kind of awesome and exhilarating. .
He shushed Casey, still laughing, “He’s here. Behave!”
Noah approached their booth, his brow knitted together and his mouth set in a straight line.
“Luke, I didn’t know Casey was going to join us?” He asked tightly.
“Hey Noah. Casey and I just ran in to each other and we were just catching up.” Luke explained, before looking over at Casey, adding “but you should totally join us. It’ll be fun!” A smile danced in Luke eyes and Casey easily picked up on it.
“Sure, dude, I’m game.” He smiled toothily at Noah.
Noah grumpily sat down next to Luke, who did his best not to laugh.
*
Luke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His mother wanted him to hook up with some random girl just so he could look heterosexual. Even if he was straight, he wouldn’t want to use somebody like that.
“Mom, no.” He said, his hands coming up defensively. “I really don’t want to start dating some poor girl. That’s the opposite of what I want to do.” Luke swallowed nervously.
His mother pushed her chair back and stood up from the table. She went to the kitchen to get some more coffee. She continued to talk to Luke over her shoulder.
“What do you mean the opposite? You don’t want to date? You want to stay single?” She returned from the kitchen with the coffee pot in her hands.
“But that doesn’t make any sense, honey. You’re at the right age to settle down, it doesn’t have to interfere with you career. In fact, it can-“She went on.
“Mom, stop.” Luke cut her off.
“What’s the matter? Why are you acting like this?” Lily asked, acting a little upset.
Luke shifted to look at his father with pleading eyes, wanting him to understand.
Holden, who had been silent until then, cleared his throat and put a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I think Luke is trying to tell us something honey. Why don’t you let him talk?” He spoke softly, giving Luke a squeeze. He looked at Luke with understanding and encouraging eyes.
Luke looked back at Holden, gratitude and relief washing through him. It made him breathe a little easier.
“Thank you dad.” He whispered.
Lily looked from Holden to Luke and back to Holden, confusion etched on her face. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about Holden?”
With his father’s hand still warm on his shoulder, Luke mustered up the courage he so desperately needed. He reached out over the table and took his mother’s hand in both of his own.
“Mom, listen to me. I don’t want you to start a lawsuit and I certainly don’t want you to find me a girlfriend. I don’t want a girlfriend, I never have and I never will.” He started.
Lily shook her head. “ Why not? I understand you’ve focused on your career until now, but why not in the future?”
Luke took a deep shaky breath, tightened his grip on his mother’s hand and said, “It’s not that I don’t want someone to spend my life with, because I do. It’s just that it won’t be with a girl or a woman.” Luke paused briefly and then added, “Because I like guys, Mom. Men. And I’d want a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.”
Luke kept looking at Lily, trapping her with his gaze. He saw disbelief in her eyes and something else he couldn’t place.
“Are you saying that… these rumours are not just rumours? That it’s true?” Lily asked slowly.
Luke swallowed, trying to force down the lump that was rising in his throat. “Yes mom, I am gay. Or as you say a homosexual.” He smiled a little bitter.
Lily jumped up from her chair, shaking off Luke’s hand as she did. She looked at Luke for a few moments before turning away, muttering “I need some air.” With that she rushed out the door.
Luke and Holden heard her leave the house, slamming the door shut, causing Luke to wince.
Luke cleared his throat, “That went well, I think?” He tried to smile, but he was closer to tears.
Holden moved to sit next to him and pulled him into his arms. “She’ll come around, son. She just needs a little time.”
Luke let his head rest against his father’s shoulder; he needed it, the warmth and the comfort. “What about you? You seemed to get it even before I said anything.”
Holden smiled into Luke’s hair. “When I saw the news about you, first I thought it was a lie and that they were out to get you. But the more I thought about it, the more it would make sense. So, when you walked in this morning, all nervous and anxious, I figured out what you came here to do.” Holden pulled back to look Luke into his eyes. “And I want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me at all. I don’t care. Just… be happy. And careful. Be careful too, okay?” Holden ended with a smile.
While listening to his father, Luke had to blink a few times to keep the tears that were forming in his eyes from spilling over. His voice however cracked a little when he answered.
“Thank you, dad. And I am always careful, you know that.” He hugged Holden one more time, squeezing him tightly, before releasing him and falling back into his chair.
“Now,” Holden said carefully, “is there anything else you’d like to tell me? Like why you chose to come out to us now?”
Luke cheeks turned pink and he nervously averted his eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I think there is more to this story. Something happened that triggered this whole thing. Am I right?” Holden asked.
Luke fell silent for a few moments. He never thought his father knew him very well, because while Luke was growing up Holden always stayed on the sidelines; he was always a little aloof. He now understood that while his father kept himself apart from his upbringing for the most part, Holden certainly had observed him and probably knew him better than his mother who spent a lot of time with Luke. Holden’s attitude and comments today proved that.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Luke admitted softly. “There is more. I’ve actually… met someone.” The colour on Luke’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink.
“You remember when I was hospitalized after crashing into Kevin Jackson during training? Well, there was this doctor who treated both me and Kevin, and he and I have gotten really close ever since. Like, really close. He’s so amazing and he just gets me, unlike anyone ever before. And he makes me feel like I’m worthy. As a person, you know? He likes me, just as I am. Not because I’m famous or rich. He just likes me.” Luke’s eyes started to light up and Holden watched it happen.
He really didn’t care that Luke was gay, but he feared for him. Holden feared that Luke’s life was going to be tougher and more difficult; things that others took for granted were not so normal for him. Simple things like marriage or even just being accepted as a person. And Holden didn’t even dare to think about the public’s opinion. He knew how ruthless the papers could be, especially in Spain.
He raised his eyebrows at Luke. “So, a doctor huh? Nice.”
Luke snickered. “Funny, dad.”
He turned more serious. “His name is Reid and I was thinking of inviting him to Oakdale to see where I grew up and meet you and mom. But I don’t even know if mom would be willing to meet him.” Luke’s shoulders dropped a little with mentioning his mother and his expressive brown eyes turned sad.
“Maybe she just needs a little time, Luke. I’m sure she’ll come around.” Holden said reassuringly.
“You really think so?” Luke asked with a spark of hope, even though he found it hard to really believe that.
At that moment they heard tires screech and the sound of a car driving away. They both turned their heads towards the window and watched the tail lights of Lily’s car fade into the distance.
Holden didn’t reply to Luke, but just smiled. If he was honest, he really didn’t know if Lily would ever really accept Luke.
*
Luke had been staying at his grandmother’s cabin for a week now and he was getting used to being there. He could sleep in, did little to no training, and eat whatever he wanted as long as it was somewhat healthy. He certainly didn’t want to have to lose any extra weight at the start of the new season.
He had gone to Old Town a few times, and had coffee at Java, either alone or with his father. Sometimes Noah would take his break while Luke was there and they’d chat about all sorts of things. Noah was easy to talk to if not somewhat superficial, but Luke was glad he was making friends. Sort of.
He spoke to Reid every evening. He had told him how badly his mother had reacted to his coming out and that Luke still hadn’t heard from her. Holden had told him to give his mother time and to let her come to him. So he just waited for her to finally take that step and accept him as he was.
Reid was supportive, tried to ease his mind and lured him into some hot dirty phone-sex that definitely took Luke’s mind of things and left him panting, at least for a while.
Luke had asked Reid to come visit him, but Reid was extremely busy at the hospital. He just spent weeks away from his job and a lot of people were waiting for him. Although Reid hadn’t said no to visiting, he also could not give him a date when he would be able to fly out.
It was late in the afternoon and Luke just woke up from a nap. He was trying to decide whether he was going to take a shower or soak in a long hot bubble bath when the phone in the living room rang. He hurried towards it in his sleep pants and answered a little breathless.
“Hello?”
“Hey Luke, it’s me, Noah.”
“Noah?” Luke frowned. He didn’t remember giving Noah the number to the cabin.
“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind, but I ran into your father and asked him for your number.” Noah said apologetically.
Luke rubbed his eyes and silently cursed his father for giving away some of his privacy, even if it was to a friend.
“No, no. It’s okay. I just didn’t expect anyone to have this number. That’s all.” He replied. “What’s up?”
“Uhm, I was just wondering if you would like to go out for dinner tonight and, you know, hang out?”
Luke bit his lip. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hang out with Noah. He was an okay guy, but Luke always felt a little uneasy around him. He got the impression that Noah maybe wanted more that to just be friends. He really didn’t want to lead Noah on, even though he kept things strictly friendly . Because even if Reid was not be in the picture, Luke still would not want to be with Noah, he wasn’t attracted to him at all.
Noah sensed Luke’s hesitation and added hastily, “We’ll just go to Al’s and maybe have a drink at Yo’s later?”
Luke figured he had to eat anyway, so he accepted Noah’s invitation and agreed to meet him at Al’s at seven thirty.
There would be no time for a long luxurious bath now, so he took a hot shower, thinking of Reid. He let his hands roam over his own body, touching himself in a way that would get him off fast. He whispered Reid’s name when he came and slumped against the tiles. He missed Reid’s hands on him, missed being able to find a safe place in his arms.
He missed Reid all the time, but sometimes, like now, the ache for him seemed to consume Luke. He closed his eyes and let the spray hit his face, the water washing a few stray tears away.
After the shower he quickly dressed in some low slung, worn jeans and a soft, dark red shirt. He yanked his sneakers on his feet, styled his hair with little to no effort and was ready to head out the door. He decided to leave the car in the garage and walk to town. If he was going to have a few drinks, he wasn’t going to drive. Besides, it wasn’t a long walk and the weather was still nice.
When Luke arrived at Al’s, Noah wasn’t there yet. So he quickly slid into a booth and grabbed a menu.
After a few minutes, he felt someone stop at the table and voice said. “Well, if it isn’t Luke Snyder.”
Luke looked up and saw Casey Hughes standing there, a big grin on his face. He jumped up and enveloped Casey in a hug, his own smile matching Casey’s.
“Case! It’s so good to see you!”
They patted each other on the back and smiled like couple of loons. They had been good friends at school, but lost sight of each other after Luke moved away. Luke had always felt a little guilty for not keeping in touch with him even though Casey didn’t try to contact him either.
“I didn’t know you were in town, dude!” Casey sat down opposite of Luke in the booth. “Are you spending the entire summer here?”
Luke shook his head. “No, not the entire summer but probably a few weeks. I’ve only been in town for a week.”
“Well, let’s celebrate the reunion of Luke and Casey with a few beers.” Casey looked around him for a waiter and when he spotted one, he shouted, “Hey! Two beers here!”
Then he leaned forward with his elbows on the table and smacked Luke on the shoulder. “This is great! We should hang out tonight and get really drunk!”
Luke laughed. “I’d like to, but I’m meeting someone here for dinner.”
Casey wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh? Anyone I know?”
Luke grinned again. “No, not like that. He’s just a friend. Maybe you do know him, it’s Noah.”
“Oh, Noah.” Casey said while rolling his eyes. He leaned back asked with a frown, “Are you into him?”
“What? No!” Luke hastily reacted. “Why would you think that?” He accepted his beer from the waitress and took a big swig.
“Because he is gay and if everything I heard over the last week is true, so are you.” Casey stated.
“That doesn’t mean that just because we’re both gay we automatically end up together. God, Casey, that’s not how it works.” Luke said a little frustrated.
Casey threw his hands up. “Hey, I know that. But it could be, right? I don’t know who you’re attracted to. Anyway, I’m glad, because he’s kind of full of himself. And even I can see you’re way too hot for him.” He smirked.
Luke couldn’t help but laugh. Casey’s just talked about being gay just as easily as about the colour of his hair. It was kind of awesome and exhilarating. .
He shushed Casey, still laughing, “He’s here. Behave!”
Noah approached their booth, his brow knitted together and his mouth set in a straight line.
“Luke, I didn’t know Casey was going to join us?” He asked tightly.
“Hey Noah. Casey and I just ran in to each other and we were just catching up.” Luke explained, before looking over at Casey, adding “but you should totally join us. It’ll be fun!” A smile danced in Luke eyes and Casey easily picked up on it.
“Sure, dude, I’m game.” He smiled toothily at Noah.
Noah grumpily sat down next to Luke, who did his best not to laugh.
*