Collision chapter 31
Chapter 31
Renée was standing outside Reid’s room, her ear pressed against the door. She was trying to catch some of the phone conversation Reid was having inside, but she couldn’t make anything out of the muffled sounds coming from her brother’s bedroom.
By the time she figured out that the sound she was hearing were Reid’s footsteps coming closer, it was too late. Reid swung the door open and she tumbled in, barely keeping herself upright, clutching at the door frame. Reid said nothing, but just looked at her. Renée’s cheeks turned red as she searched for a plausible reason why she had been standing there.
“I was just.. ehm… This isn’t… ehm… yeah.” She looked at Reid innocently from under her eyelashes, but it didn’t have any effect on him.
“Are you trying to convince me that you weren’t eavesdropping?” He asked, crossing his arms before his chest.
Renée sighed in defeat. “No.”
“So, what did you hear?” Reid asked, his head cocked to the side.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Frustration was clearly audible in her voice. “You were probably whispering the whole time. I couldn’t make anything out of it.” She whined.
“Good.” Reid nodded, before stepping past her and moving towards the kitchen.
“Rei-eid!” Renée came after him. “Just tell me this-were you talking to Luke Snyder?” She smacked his arm, hard. “Come on, you’ve got to give me something here.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Reid smiled wickedly. He was going to fill her in about everything, but he couldn’t resist adding to her frustration a little more.
He opened the fridge and got a beer. “You want one?” He asked, holding out the bottle to Renée.
Renée just grumbled, but took it anyway. Reid grabbed himself another one and moved to the living room, Renée still at his heels.
“Come on, Reid. This was a horrible day with our team out of the Championships, so if you have anything to make it just a little bit better, you owe it to me.” She flopped down on the couch, a scowl very similar to Reid’s on her face.
Reid said nothing, but used the remote control to turn on the TV. He flipped through the channels before settling on some music channel which he knew Renée liked to watch.
Renée sat next to him on the couch, practically crawling out of her skin with curiosity. She fiddled with the label on the beer bottle and tried to remain silent, not wanting to give Reid any satisfaction.
After a few minutes, she couldn’t hold her tongue anymore. “You’re an asshole, you know that.” She made a move to stand up, but Reid grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.
“Hold on, hold on. What did you say you wanted to know?” He said with a smile
Renée slowly sat back against the back of the couch and looked at Reid. “You mean it?” She asked doubtfully, not convinced Reid was going to give in to her and tell her what she wanted to know.
“When have I ever lied to you?” Reid asked, looking straight into Renée blue eyes, the exact same colour as his own.
“Okay, well. Then tell me, who were you talking to earlier?” Renée asked.
“Luke Snyder.” Reid simply answered.
Renée pretty much guessed that, but she didn’t know why Reid was talking to him. So she asked.
“Why?”
“Because I like him.” Reid’s answer was short and simple.
“Oh.” Renée took a moment to process that answer.
“And… does he like you back?” She went on.
“Well, considering he just told me he loves me, I think so, yes.” Reid stated matter-of-factly, taking a big swig of beer.
Renée just stared at him, blinking a few times, before leaning in to him, “I’m sorry…what?”
“You heard me.”
Renée’s eyes went wide with shock. “Luke Snyder loves you. He loves you?! Like a brother, like a friend? Or like… what exactly?”
“Definitely not like a brother.” Reid smirked.
“Oh my God.” Renée put her head in her hands and muttered, “So you are…he is… you mean… I can’t…wow.” Then she lifted her head, looked at Reid and said, “You’ve got some serious explaining to do, because I can’t even begin to understand any of this.”
And so Reid told her everything that had happened between him and Luke. From the cautious beginning, to Luke admitting he was gay and everything that happened after that, right to the point where Mike had outed Luke. And Renée just listened, taking in Reid’s expression when he talked about Luke-how his eyes softened and his lips were permanently curved into an almost smile. When Reid finished talking, he stared into the distance.
Renée studied him, taking in the brightness in his eyes. "Wow." She mumbled.
"What?" Reid asked defensively.
"You've got it bad, mister. I have never seen you this way before, not even with... you know." She gestured with her hand.
Reid glanced at Renée, a little annoyed with himself that he was that obvious about his feelings, but then again, this was Renée. She knew him better than anybody.
"This is different than with Ray." He insisted.
"Sure, but you've got to admit there are similarities. What is it with you and closet cases?" Renée smiled, rubbing Reid's arm. "I really don't want to see you get hurt like that again. I mean, with Ray it was just about keeping you a secret from his family and friends, but with Luke Snyder it's the whole world. Do you really want to have a relationship where you can't go out or do anything together? Do you really want to live a lie again? Even if it is Luke Snyder?" Renée was careful not to be discouraging of Reid's new relationship, because hello, this was Luke Snyder!, but her brother's happiness came first. She never wanted to see him as devastated as he was when Ray left him.
Reid listened to Renée’s questions and knew they were valid (ones). It wasn't that he hadn't asked himself the same questions.
"Okay," he replied. "First, could you please stop referring to him as 'Luke Snyder'? It feels like you’re only talking about a celebrity and that’s not what he is to me. Just call him Luke, okay? And second, this is different from Ray. Luke does not have a girlfriend as a cover and he had already made plans to come out. He just thought that (doing that/coming out) during the tournament wasn't a good time and I have to admit he was right, even though I tried to convince him otherwise."
"Then why did you try to convince him?" Renée asked softly.
Reid shot Renée a look. "You know why. Don't think I went it into this lightly. I had the same concerns as you have, and maybe I still do. But I want to trust Luke, Renée. I need to. He promised me, and even during this whole mess he still wants to be with me. He just told me he loves me for the very first time. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't in this."
"But he still hasn't reacted to any of the accusations. He hasn't confirmed or denied any of it." Renée reminded Reid.
"I know. But it hasn’t been that long and it has to be his own decision when or how he wants to talk about it. And he did have other things on his mind, remember?"
"I know, I know. Okay then, I'll take your word for it. But I just want you to be careful, Reid. Just.. be careful." Renée wrapped an arm around Reid's shoulder and leaned her head against him.
"Trust me, I am. It's just... he's Luke Snyder, you know?" He said with a smile. “And I love him too.”
Renée started laughing. "Yeah, I got that! You are dating the hottest soccer player in the world." It was as if reality only then sunk in. "Oh my God... you really are dating Luke Snyder. I’m going to meet Luke Snyder. And he’s going to be my brother-in-law!” She squealed in delight. Then she gave Reid a stern look. “You know I’m going to carry your babies, right?”
Reid just laughed, put his arms around Renée and ruffled her hair, like he did when she was younger, happy to be able to finally share this with her.
*
Luke opened the door to his grandmother’s guest house; he felt dead tired. Despite his protests, the driver carried his bags into the house and put them in the main bedroom.
“Anything else I can do for you, sir?” He asked.
“No, thank you.” He searched his pockets for his wallet, but the man put up his hands and said, “No need, sir. Everything is taken care of.” Then he tipped his hat, wished Luke a good night and walked out, closing the door carefully behind him.
Luke dragged himself into the bedroom. He fell on to the bed, not bothering to take his clothes off.
He fired off a quick text to Reid, saying he was too tired for anything and that he would call him in the morning.
Tomorrow he would have to face his parents and the rest of the world. Not something he was looking forward to...
The next morning, Luke woke with a headache. He felt like dark clouds had gathered above his head, waiting to release heavy drops of misery on him. Today he had to do the thing he dreaded the most; he had to go and see his parents. His mother.
He quickly texted Reid, saying he would call when he got back. Within one minute he got a text back from Reid, wishing him luck. It made Luke smile and his heart felt a little less heavy.
After a quick shower, he checked the garage. He silently thanked his grandmother for leaving a car at the guest house. He climbed in and headed for his parents' house.
He decided to stop in Old Town to get some coffee. If his memory served him well, there was a coffee place called Java that served reasonably good coffee. He found the place without any trouble and it looked just as same as the last time he was there years ago.
When he walked towards the coffee place, taking in the familiar surroundings of Old Town, an uneasy feeling swept over him. It didn't feel like home; it never really had. It kind of felt like walking on eggs, never knowing when one would break and make a mess. He now realized that maybe that had just as much to do with himself as it did with the town.
Walking into Java, he saw just one other customer there and it wasn't someone he knew. He stepped up to the counter and placed his order with a barista who looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place him. The guy smiled at him though.
Luke hesitantly returned the smile, noticed the guy's name tag and made an effort to engage in a little small talk. The guy told him they went to school together. Luke didn't exactly remember him, but he did remember his mother talking about him. This was the guy he told Reid about, the one with the difficult coming-out. Luke could certainly relate to that. They talked briefly about small things and mutual acquaintances.
When his coffee was ready, the guy handed it to him with a smile. This time Luke smiled a little easier at the barista. "Thank you Noah."
"Sure Luke. I hope to see you soon." Noah gave him a lingering look. Luke could feel eyes on him when he walked out the door. He glanced back briefly when he was about to turn the corner and he found Noah still looking at him. He even gave Luke a little wave just before he went out of sight.
Luke didn't wave back, but just shrugged his shoulders. He had more important things to focus on.
*
Luke’s car came to a stop right before the farmhouse he grew up in. He turned off the engine and stared at the house. Inside were his parents, waiting for him. They are waiting for him to explain his life and the person that he is.
So, let’s do this.
Determined, he got out and closed the car door. He squared his shoulders, thought he was prepared for what was to come and walked towards the house with steady steps.
He didn't even have to knock, because his mother swung open the door when he was about 5 feet away and almost jumped towards him. She wrapped her arms around him, calling out his name. "Luke, baby! What took you so long? Why didn’t you call me back? I was so worried about you." Luke hugged her back and pressed his nose into her hair, wanting to feel loved. Lily pulled back to look at Luke. She frowned, "You don't look very good, Luke. Haven't you been sleeping well? You know how important sleep is, don't you? I can get you some pills if you-".
At this point Holden interrupted her. "Lily, please. Let him get in first and we'll talk later." Holden gently pushed Lily aside and gave Luke a one-armed hug, patting him on the shoulder. "How've you been, son? It's good to see you."
Luke hadn't been able to get in one word and now he just smiled at his dad, who was motioning for him to get into the house. Lily hurried into the kitchen and busied herself with pouring coffee.
A few moments later they sat at the kitchen table, coffee in front of them with a piece of home-made apple pie. But Luke's piece was untouched. He was getting nauseous just at the thought of eating something before he got to say what he had to say.
His mother leaned forward and petted his arm reassuringly. "Now, Luke honey. Don't you worry about anything. I'm going to ask mother if we can use her legal team. Not that your own lawyers aren’t any good, but mother’s are a little more… ruthless. We'll sue these people for everything they have. The rumours they're spreading about you are ridiculous and they shouldn't get away with it."
Lily's face showed determination. "It's all over the news, Luke! This is not what we need. Especially now that you're out of the Championships, it will get even worse. The paparazzi will focus solely on this."
Then she looked at Luke's face, took in his expression and the look in his eyes. She ducked her head, trying to catch his eyes. "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you more upset about this? People are making outrageous allegations about you and it looks like you don't even care. We have to fight this, Luke." Her voice sounded stern.
Luke slowly raised his head and stared at his mother.
"Why?" It was the first word he’s spoken since he walked into the house. There hadn’t even been room for small talk. Lily had gone straight for the thing that kept her up at night.
"What do you mean, why?" Lily asked, her brow knitted in confusion.
"Why do we have to fight it? So what if people think I'm gay?" Luke saw Lily cringe at the very word. "Why would that matter?"
"Why w-, wh-, of course it matters because it's not true! I don't want people to think that you're a... a.... homosexual." She almost spat out the last word.
Luke's cheeks were turning pink, but he tried to keep his expression blank, even though his mother's words hurt him more than he had thought beforehand. And he hadn't even told her the truth yet.
"The best thing we can do now, "Lily continued, "is start the lawsuit as quickly as possible and in the meantime find you a nice girlfriend. Then you can go out on a few dates, show people that you're perfectly normal and then this will all just go away. Now, "she said pensive," where can we find a suitable girl?"
*
Renée was standing outside Reid’s room, her ear pressed against the door. She was trying to catch some of the phone conversation Reid was having inside, but she couldn’t make anything out of the muffled sounds coming from her brother’s bedroom.
By the time she figured out that the sound she was hearing were Reid’s footsteps coming closer, it was too late. Reid swung the door open and she tumbled in, barely keeping herself upright, clutching at the door frame. Reid said nothing, but just looked at her. Renée’s cheeks turned red as she searched for a plausible reason why she had been standing there.
“I was just.. ehm… This isn’t… ehm… yeah.” She looked at Reid innocently from under her eyelashes, but it didn’t have any effect on him.
“Are you trying to convince me that you weren’t eavesdropping?” He asked, crossing his arms before his chest.
Renée sighed in defeat. “No.”
“So, what did you hear?” Reid asked, his head cocked to the side.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Frustration was clearly audible in her voice. “You were probably whispering the whole time. I couldn’t make anything out of it.” She whined.
“Good.” Reid nodded, before stepping past her and moving towards the kitchen.
“Rei-eid!” Renée came after him. “Just tell me this-were you talking to Luke Snyder?” She smacked his arm, hard. “Come on, you’ve got to give me something here.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Reid smiled wickedly. He was going to fill her in about everything, but he couldn’t resist adding to her frustration a little more.
He opened the fridge and got a beer. “You want one?” He asked, holding out the bottle to Renée.
Renée just grumbled, but took it anyway. Reid grabbed himself another one and moved to the living room, Renée still at his heels.
“Come on, Reid. This was a horrible day with our team out of the Championships, so if you have anything to make it just a little bit better, you owe it to me.” She flopped down on the couch, a scowl very similar to Reid’s on her face.
Reid said nothing, but used the remote control to turn on the TV. He flipped through the channels before settling on some music channel which he knew Renée liked to watch.
Renée sat next to him on the couch, practically crawling out of her skin with curiosity. She fiddled with the label on the beer bottle and tried to remain silent, not wanting to give Reid any satisfaction.
After a few minutes, she couldn’t hold her tongue anymore. “You’re an asshole, you know that.” She made a move to stand up, but Reid grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.
“Hold on, hold on. What did you say you wanted to know?” He said with a smile
Renée slowly sat back against the back of the couch and looked at Reid. “You mean it?” She asked doubtfully, not convinced Reid was going to give in to her and tell her what she wanted to know.
“When have I ever lied to you?” Reid asked, looking straight into Renée blue eyes, the exact same colour as his own.
“Okay, well. Then tell me, who were you talking to earlier?” Renée asked.
“Luke Snyder.” Reid simply answered.
Renée pretty much guessed that, but she didn’t know why Reid was talking to him. So she asked.
“Why?”
“Because I like him.” Reid’s answer was short and simple.
“Oh.” Renée took a moment to process that answer.
“And… does he like you back?” She went on.
“Well, considering he just told me he loves me, I think so, yes.” Reid stated matter-of-factly, taking a big swig of beer.
Renée just stared at him, blinking a few times, before leaning in to him, “I’m sorry…what?”
“You heard me.”
Renée’s eyes went wide with shock. “Luke Snyder loves you. He loves you?! Like a brother, like a friend? Or like… what exactly?”
“Definitely not like a brother.” Reid smirked.
“Oh my God.” Renée put her head in her hands and muttered, “So you are…he is… you mean… I can’t…wow.” Then she lifted her head, looked at Reid and said, “You’ve got some serious explaining to do, because I can’t even begin to understand any of this.”
And so Reid told her everything that had happened between him and Luke. From the cautious beginning, to Luke admitting he was gay and everything that happened after that, right to the point where Mike had outed Luke. And Renée just listened, taking in Reid’s expression when he talked about Luke-how his eyes softened and his lips were permanently curved into an almost smile. When Reid finished talking, he stared into the distance.
Renée studied him, taking in the brightness in his eyes. "Wow." She mumbled.
"What?" Reid asked defensively.
"You've got it bad, mister. I have never seen you this way before, not even with... you know." She gestured with her hand.
Reid glanced at Renée, a little annoyed with himself that he was that obvious about his feelings, but then again, this was Renée. She knew him better than anybody.
"This is different than with Ray." He insisted.
"Sure, but you've got to admit there are similarities. What is it with you and closet cases?" Renée smiled, rubbing Reid's arm. "I really don't want to see you get hurt like that again. I mean, with Ray it was just about keeping you a secret from his family and friends, but with Luke Snyder it's the whole world. Do you really want to have a relationship where you can't go out or do anything together? Do you really want to live a lie again? Even if it is Luke Snyder?" Renée was careful not to be discouraging of Reid's new relationship, because hello, this was Luke Snyder!, but her brother's happiness came first. She never wanted to see him as devastated as he was when Ray left him.
Reid listened to Renée’s questions and knew they were valid (ones). It wasn't that he hadn't asked himself the same questions.
"Okay," he replied. "First, could you please stop referring to him as 'Luke Snyder'? It feels like you’re only talking about a celebrity and that’s not what he is to me. Just call him Luke, okay? And second, this is different from Ray. Luke does not have a girlfriend as a cover and he had already made plans to come out. He just thought that (doing that/coming out) during the tournament wasn't a good time and I have to admit he was right, even though I tried to convince him otherwise."
"Then why did you try to convince him?" Renée asked softly.
Reid shot Renée a look. "You know why. Don't think I went it into this lightly. I had the same concerns as you have, and maybe I still do. But I want to trust Luke, Renée. I need to. He promised me, and even during this whole mess he still wants to be with me. He just told me he loves me for the very first time. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't in this."
"But he still hasn't reacted to any of the accusations. He hasn't confirmed or denied any of it." Renée reminded Reid.
"I know. But it hasn’t been that long and it has to be his own decision when or how he wants to talk about it. And he did have other things on his mind, remember?"
"I know, I know. Okay then, I'll take your word for it. But I just want you to be careful, Reid. Just.. be careful." Renée wrapped an arm around Reid's shoulder and leaned her head against him.
"Trust me, I am. It's just... he's Luke Snyder, you know?" He said with a smile. “And I love him too.”
Renée started laughing. "Yeah, I got that! You are dating the hottest soccer player in the world." It was as if reality only then sunk in. "Oh my God... you really are dating Luke Snyder. I’m going to meet Luke Snyder. And he’s going to be my brother-in-law!” She squealed in delight. Then she gave Reid a stern look. “You know I’m going to carry your babies, right?”
Reid just laughed, put his arms around Renée and ruffled her hair, like he did when she was younger, happy to be able to finally share this with her.
*
Luke opened the door to his grandmother’s guest house; he felt dead tired. Despite his protests, the driver carried his bags into the house and put them in the main bedroom.
“Anything else I can do for you, sir?” He asked.
“No, thank you.” He searched his pockets for his wallet, but the man put up his hands and said, “No need, sir. Everything is taken care of.” Then he tipped his hat, wished Luke a good night and walked out, closing the door carefully behind him.
Luke dragged himself into the bedroom. He fell on to the bed, not bothering to take his clothes off.
He fired off a quick text to Reid, saying he was too tired for anything and that he would call him in the morning.
Tomorrow he would have to face his parents and the rest of the world. Not something he was looking forward to...
The next morning, Luke woke with a headache. He felt like dark clouds had gathered above his head, waiting to release heavy drops of misery on him. Today he had to do the thing he dreaded the most; he had to go and see his parents. His mother.
He quickly texted Reid, saying he would call when he got back. Within one minute he got a text back from Reid, wishing him luck. It made Luke smile and his heart felt a little less heavy.
After a quick shower, he checked the garage. He silently thanked his grandmother for leaving a car at the guest house. He climbed in and headed for his parents' house.
He decided to stop in Old Town to get some coffee. If his memory served him well, there was a coffee place called Java that served reasonably good coffee. He found the place without any trouble and it looked just as same as the last time he was there years ago.
When he walked towards the coffee place, taking in the familiar surroundings of Old Town, an uneasy feeling swept over him. It didn't feel like home; it never really had. It kind of felt like walking on eggs, never knowing when one would break and make a mess. He now realized that maybe that had just as much to do with himself as it did with the town.
Walking into Java, he saw just one other customer there and it wasn't someone he knew. He stepped up to the counter and placed his order with a barista who looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place him. The guy smiled at him though.
Luke hesitantly returned the smile, noticed the guy's name tag and made an effort to engage in a little small talk. The guy told him they went to school together. Luke didn't exactly remember him, but he did remember his mother talking about him. This was the guy he told Reid about, the one with the difficult coming-out. Luke could certainly relate to that. They talked briefly about small things and mutual acquaintances.
When his coffee was ready, the guy handed it to him with a smile. This time Luke smiled a little easier at the barista. "Thank you Noah."
"Sure Luke. I hope to see you soon." Noah gave him a lingering look. Luke could feel eyes on him when he walked out the door. He glanced back briefly when he was about to turn the corner and he found Noah still looking at him. He even gave Luke a little wave just before he went out of sight.
Luke didn't wave back, but just shrugged his shoulders. He had more important things to focus on.
*
Luke’s car came to a stop right before the farmhouse he grew up in. He turned off the engine and stared at the house. Inside were his parents, waiting for him. They are waiting for him to explain his life and the person that he is.
So, let’s do this.
Determined, he got out and closed the car door. He squared his shoulders, thought he was prepared for what was to come and walked towards the house with steady steps.
He didn't even have to knock, because his mother swung open the door when he was about 5 feet away and almost jumped towards him. She wrapped her arms around him, calling out his name. "Luke, baby! What took you so long? Why didn’t you call me back? I was so worried about you." Luke hugged her back and pressed his nose into her hair, wanting to feel loved. Lily pulled back to look at Luke. She frowned, "You don't look very good, Luke. Haven't you been sleeping well? You know how important sleep is, don't you? I can get you some pills if you-".
At this point Holden interrupted her. "Lily, please. Let him get in first and we'll talk later." Holden gently pushed Lily aside and gave Luke a one-armed hug, patting him on the shoulder. "How've you been, son? It's good to see you."
Luke hadn't been able to get in one word and now he just smiled at his dad, who was motioning for him to get into the house. Lily hurried into the kitchen and busied herself with pouring coffee.
A few moments later they sat at the kitchen table, coffee in front of them with a piece of home-made apple pie. But Luke's piece was untouched. He was getting nauseous just at the thought of eating something before he got to say what he had to say.
His mother leaned forward and petted his arm reassuringly. "Now, Luke honey. Don't you worry about anything. I'm going to ask mother if we can use her legal team. Not that your own lawyers aren’t any good, but mother’s are a little more… ruthless. We'll sue these people for everything they have. The rumours they're spreading about you are ridiculous and they shouldn't get away with it."
Lily's face showed determination. "It's all over the news, Luke! This is not what we need. Especially now that you're out of the Championships, it will get even worse. The paparazzi will focus solely on this."
Then she looked at Luke's face, took in his expression and the look in his eyes. She ducked her head, trying to catch his eyes. "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you more upset about this? People are making outrageous allegations about you and it looks like you don't even care. We have to fight this, Luke." Her voice sounded stern.
Luke slowly raised his head and stared at his mother.
"Why?" It was the first word he’s spoken since he walked into the house. There hadn’t even been room for small talk. Lily had gone straight for the thing that kept her up at night.
"What do you mean, why?" Lily asked, her brow knitted in confusion.
"Why do we have to fight it? So what if people think I'm gay?" Luke saw Lily cringe at the very word. "Why would that matter?"
"Why w-, wh-, of course it matters because it's not true! I don't want people to think that you're a... a.... homosexual." She almost spat out the last word.
Luke's cheeks were turning pink, but he tried to keep his expression blank, even though his mother's words hurt him more than he had thought beforehand. And he hadn't even told her the truth yet.
"The best thing we can do now, "Lily continued, "is start the lawsuit as quickly as possible and in the meantime find you a nice girlfriend. Then you can go out on a few dates, show people that you're perfectly normal and then this will all just go away. Now, "she said pensive," where can we find a suitable girl?"
*