The Only Hope for Me is You (3/6)
Title: The Only Hope for Me is You
Author: Ly-Marie Ramos
Wordcount: 50,270 in total (7342 this part)
Characters: Original Characters: Fiona Emerson and Alexandria Dawson
Pairing(s): Fiona/Alex
Genre: Original Fiction
Notes: I am so proud of this story its ridiculous =D
Summary: Fiona Emerson has issues, and Alexandria Dawson might have the remedy that is if she ever lets her break down the wall Fiona has built around herself.
Fiona was pulled out of her dreams that were oddly based on aliens taking over the universe and human beings using the power of song to stop them from doing it, by someone yelling in her ear, “God mom! I’m up!”
She might have jumped off her bed in her haste to get away from the noise and had fallen hard to the floor. She groaned and crawled back to her bed in time to hear Alex’s voice, “Fi? You still there? Little darling, hello.”
She searched blindly for her phone. She found it just when Alex says, “Guess you’re still asleep.”
“No,” Fiona managed to mumble. “Your shriek of horror woke me up.”
She sighed as Alex apologized, “What time is it anyway?”
“Quarter to five,” the girl over the phone says apologetically.
Fiona glared at the phone, “Does your mom not know that school doesn’t start until eight o’clock?”
“She does,” Alex says distractedly and Fiona leaned back into her pillows as she heard the girl begin to prepare her things for school. “But I asked to borrow her car.”
“Why?” Fiona asked yawning and letting her eyes fall shut again.
“Because,” Alex says sounding nervous. “I want to take you out on a date.”
“A date?” Fiona asked still half asleep.
“Yes a date,” Alex says defensively. “Dinner and a movie or something like that. I plan on wooing you.”
Fiona snorted, “‘Wooing me?’ I’m already making out with you Alex, you don’t need to woo me.”
She could practically feel Alex shrugging over the phone, “I still want to take you out.”
“Whatever you want Lexi,” she mumbled feeling herself falling back to sleep.
She heard Alex chuckle, “Sleep well Fi. I’ll text you that I’m picking you up because I doubt you’ll remember.”
“Mmmkay,” Fiona sighed before letting her hand drop and falling back to sleep.
When she woke up for the second time, it wasn’t because of another shriek. It was to the sweet, sweet smell of coffee coming from the mug that her mom had probably placed on her dresser on her way in from the hospital.
She grabbed the mug blindly and drank the scalding quickly burning her mouth slightly, but it kicked her awake enough so that she didn’t jump when her alarm went off.
She looked over at the time to see that it was a quarter to seven. She stretched out and grabbed her phone.
There was a text message from Alex, I still fully plan on wooing you. So you better prepare yourself. I am also picking you up to take you to school. So seven fifteen sound good?
Fiona pulled the sheets off of her body and ran into her shower smiling widely.
She’d never had any person actively try to date her. It was usually one night stands or Miranda. Miranda didn’t even date her or take her out. She just told her they were a thing and that was it.
She jumped out of the shower singing and dancing a bit. Getting dressed had never really been a problem for her. She usually just grabbed the first thing that she came into contact with and went with it. Today she was rethinking all of her wardrobe choices, like Alex was going to like her less if she wore something different.
That was stupid. Alex wouldn’t care about it. She pulled on a skirt made of patches that were green conscious and had help the environment type of sayings, a black t-shirt with the words “I Am in Lesbians With You” written in gold across the front.
She had just pulled on her boots and knee length black jacket when the door bell rang. She grabbed her bag and her keys and stood in the middle of the room trying to remember if she needed anything for school today.
The door bell rang again and her mother’s voice rang out, “If you don’t get that I am making one of the kids do it.”
Fiona ran out of her room and to the door before it rang again.
She could hear her mother coaxing Kate into wearing something not pink while Bobby was taking his shower. Their morning routines were mostly like that. Her mom bringing her coffee before dealing with the children, then once they were all out of the house she would pass out on the couch, which really wasn’t good for her back.
Fiona opened the door and there stood Alex smiling sheepishly at her. She was dressed in the usual baggy jeans and hoodie combo but it was kind of endearing to Fiona. She was also holding a rose in her right hand which she gave to Fiona once she opened the door.
Fiona smiled and stepped forward closing the door behind her, “Hey.”
Alex smiled and stuck her hands in her pocket, “Hey.”
Fiona rolled her eyes and wrapped one hand around Alex’s neck before tugging her down for a quick peck. Alex made a noise in protest when she didn’t continue with the kiss and attempted to take matters into her own hands but Fiona danced away from her pushing her back slightly and walking around her, “Come on. You got some wooing to do before I make out with you again.”
“You are such a tease,” Alex muttered.
Fiona just laughed and held out her hand, “Come on Lexi.”
They drove into the school laughing. Fiona had her cup of coffee from Joe’s Café in one hand and a danish in the other. She had been telling Alex the story on how she had literally stumbled into Joe’s Café when they parked.
Alex smiled at her and pressed her lips against her knuckles. She slipped out of the car and walked over to Fiona’s side before opening the door for her. Fiona laughed at the gesture and stepped out of the car.
They walked hand in hand and there were less people talking than there were yesterday which made Fiona glad. They went to class, ate lunch in the art room, Fiona did her best to resist Alex, but she was only human after all, so they made out in the janitor’s closet before their last class too.
After school Alex escorted her to the car and opened the door for her again. Fiona just smiled and pressed a kiss on her cheek, “Where are we going?”
Alex smirked, “You’ll see.”
That is why how she found herself sitting down in a completely chic café she’d never seen before that offered performances as well as great food.
“I know you’re into that theater stuff, and I heard that this group is good at improv. Besides they make the best sandwiches here and hot chocolate and coffee.”
Fiona just smiled at her wanting very much to pull her over the table and kiss her, but the performance was about to start and she really didn’t want to take away from it.
All in all it was a pretty awesome date. Fiona hadn’t been on much of them to use them as a comparison, but it was pretty sweet given the situation.
After the performance and the really awesome sandwiches and some really good chocolate cake, Alex pulled her out of the restaurant, but instead of heading back to her car, she tugged her in the direction of the park.
Alex grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together and they took a stroll through the park. It was pretty quiet probably because it was only Tuesday afternoon and everyone else was either working or doing homework.
They walked in silence for a minute just enjoying each other’s company until Alex broke it, “How did you get into art?”
Fiona looked at her pulling at her lip and smiled sadly at her, “My dad.”
She took a deep breath and tugged Alex over to one of the benches. She sat down and began playing with Alex’s fingers as she attempted to figure out a way to tell her this story. It was in some ways harder to tell than the Miranda story, and she wasn’t anywhere near ready to tell anyone that story.
“My dad was an amazing artist,” she began looking out at the sky. “He could make something breathtaking out of nothing at all. I remember being four and hiding in his studio and smelling the paint and sitting down and finger painting my own little works of art. He never cared. He always said that they were amazing that I had amazing potential.”
Fiona took a deep breath and looked back at Alex, “I was seven when we found out that my mom was pregnant with Bobby. I was ecstatic because I was going to get a baby brother. It was only after my dad left that I realized that all the fights they were having were because my baby brother wasn’t my father’s kid. It sort of broke my heart and I resented my mother for a while because of it. Wished she had never gotten pregnant in the first place, but the second I held Bobby in my arms I knew that I would’ve been very sad if that had actually happened. I started painting and drawing and sculpting and all of that with a fever after Bobby was born. I figured that if I was good enough my dad would come back.”
“Fi,” Alex began but stopped herself and pulled the girl into a hug.
Fiona wriggled for a little bit before settling down and tucking her head in Alex’s shoulder.
“You know you are an amazingly brave person,” Alex began. “When my parent’s got a divorce, the first thing I did was rebel and go out of my way to make both their lives miserable. After a while I got it, the way this happened. It wasn’t because I wasn’t a good enough daughter, a straight enough daughter. It was because they weren’t happy together. You gotta remember that Fi. It’s not on you that your parents aren’t together anymore. It’s all on them, and it is not going to do anyone any good if you keep blaming yourself for it.”
Fiona sighed against Alex and pressed a kiss on her neck, “I cannot honestly believe we are having this moment in a park bench in broad daylight.”
Alex chuckled and ruffled a hand through her hair, “Where would you prefer to have it?”
Fiona shrugged and leaned up a bit to whisper in her ear, “Somewhere darker, with a lot more privacy and a bed I could push you on.”
Fiona felt the warmth from the rush of blood on Alex’s cheeks and she pressed a kiss there.
Alex cleared her throat, “You do know not everything is about sex right?”
Fiona felt a sting at those words but shrugged them off like a pro, “I know Lexi, but like I said before I find it very difficult to control my urges.”
She tugged on Alex’s earlobe with her teeth and felt the girl’s heart beat quicken, “What do you want Fi?”
Fiona grinned and began to lightly trail her hands over Alex’s shoulders. She panted into the girl’s ear, “I want to fuck you. Preferably with my tongue. Preferably on a bed, but I’m really not all that picky.”
She felt Alex pull her on her lap and her fingers dug into her shoulders as she continued, “The back seat of your car is particularly huge.”
She felt Alex groan, “It’s my mom’s car Fi.”
Fiona pulled back to look at the girl whose eyes were glazed over with lust and mouth was open as she breathed sharp little breaths, “All the better then.”
She pulled Alex up by her hoodie and pressed their mouths together the angle was difficult to manage but they managed it.
Fiona straddled her properly on the bench, thighs pressing around her thighs with her knees tucked right by her hips. Alex’s hands automatically began massaging the exposed skin of her upper thigh and she gave a groan. She pulled at the hoodie until the zipper zipped down a bit and exposed Alex’s neck before she moved her mouth to the tan skin and began to suck a bruise right there, because Fiona could be possessive too.
Alex wrapped one arm around her waist and the other went to the back of her neck and Fiona took that as encouragement and bit down sucking and nibbling like if she was a vampire.
After several minutes she felt Alex thrust her hips up and Fiona snaked a hand down to slip under her shirt and to the hot skin of her tummy. She bit down at the same second that she dipped a finger into her belly button and Alex gave a loud moan.
She figured by now they were attracting attention. She pulled away from Alex’s neck and eyed the bruise in appreciation. It was already turning purple and Fiona knew it would be dark indeed. She continued patting Alex’s stomach while whispering, “If we don’t go to the car now I swear I’ll pull your pants down and eat you out right here.”
She felt Alex’s hips stutter at that and she smirked, “So you’re a voyeur?”
Alex just groaned and tipped her head back. She pushed Fiona off her lap and then stood up. Fiona was feeling hot everything felt tight and raw. She wanted to make Alex feel good right now because the girl was still watching her with glazed eyes.
They barely made it to the car. Alex pinned her to a tree, a light post and even another car before they were scrambling for the back seat.
It was probably lucky that they had parked in such a secluded spot. Because that meant they didn’t have to wait anymore. Alex unlocked the door, but hesitated before opening the back door.
“Are you sure you want to do this Fi?”
Fiona looked at her for a second before pushing her against the car door and pressing a kiss into her mouth, “Get into the car princess.”
Alex snorted and opened the door. She sat down then gazed at Fiona coyly through her eye lashes. She laid back and slipped her pants down her long legs before throwing it to the front seat. Fiona took one look at the girl on full display before her and then she dropped her jacket to the floor and crawled over her body pressing down on her and stifling any protest she might have had with a kiss.
~*~*~*~
A loud thumping noise woke Fiona up. She opened her eyes blearily and looked over to see a light shinning in her eyes.
She squinted and could make out a police officer. She went over to the window and rolled it down.
“Yes?”
The police officer looked vaguely surprised to see her clothed, “It’s getting close to closing time. The parking garage closes in ten minutes and we need all the cars out.”
She nodded and rolled the window up before turning to crawl to the front. She was really glad that she had covered Alex after she had fallen asleep, because while Fiona remained with her clothes on Alex wasn’t that lucky.
Fiona smirked at her reflection and started the car. She backed up and waved cheerfully at the officer before heading to her house.
She parked in front in the secluded apartment parking lot and turned off the car. She looked back at Alex who still hadn’t moved. She had fallen asleep almost after she had come. Fiona remembered crawling up her body afterward and placed her fingers into Alex’s mouth. Alex sucked at them then kissed her before smiling contently and falling asleep.
Fiona had carded her fingers through her hair before lying basically on top of her and falling asleep too.
Now, she crawled back into the back seat and straddled the sleeping girl. She leaned forward and licked at the purple bruise she had left on her neck. She heard a sleepy sigh and leaned up on her elbows. She saw Alex’s eyes flutter and she pressed their mouths together.
It took a second before Alex began to respond to the kiss. Once she did and was fully awake she slipped her hands right up Fiona’s skirt and began petting her thighs.
It was like if just because they had sex, Alex felt she had the right to feel her up.
She was about to pull away and call her on it when the girl grabbed her and pushed her hips down. Fiona panted against her mouth, “Lexi.”
She couldn’t help herself. She gripped her thighs tighter around Alex’s as the girl hiked one leg up so that her knee was right there.
“Alex,” she whispered trying to pull back. “No.”
But Alex refused to let go. She gripped the backs of Fiona’s knees and pushed her down on to her knee and Fiona’s eyes rolled to the back of her head.
“Alex wait,” she panted and began to disentangle herself from Alex. The other girl watched her concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
Fiona shook her head, “I don’t have time to do this. I have to go.”
“Fi,” Alex says gripping her arms. “What is it?”
Fiona shook her head and pulled away. She wanted to…oh god, she wanted to let Alex take her. She wanted to take everything she’d kept safe inside for the past two years and hand it over to Alex on a silver platter. The thought of that scared her more than she was willing to admit.
She got out of the car and scrambled back glad that Alex was too undressed to follow her. She grabbed her bag from the passenger seat as Alex struggled to put her pants back on and rushed into her apartment complex.
It was probably unfortunate that Alex was fast dresser, because once she opened the door she could hear Alex following behind her.
She ignored the looks she was getting from the other tenants and attempted to reach inside of her apartment before Alex reached her. That turned out to be a false illusion, because the second she reached her door, before she was able to open it she was pushed against it.
She felt Alex’s breath hit the back of her neck, “I know I said I wouldn’t push you and I know we barely know each other, but Fi, if you keep pushing me away anytime I get too close we aren’t going to go anywhere.”
Fiona didn’t fight against her, “I’m sorry. I just can’t Alex, please don’t make me.”
Alex turned her around, “You can’t what exactly?”
Fiona gulped, “I can’t have sex with you, not in the way you want me to.”
“You mean you won’t let me fuck you,” Alex says and the harsh way she says it makes Fiona flinch, but she nods anyway. “And you won’t tell me why?”
Fiona froze and remembered a dark alley and a scared fourteen year old girl pressed up against the wall by her newest friend.
She had lost her virginity that day, and Miranda didn’t even bother to wait until she was dressed before leaving.
She focused back to Alex who was looking at her with her wide expressive green eyes which were shining with concern, “I can’t.”
Alex closed her eyes for a second.
She opened them and half smiled at her. She pressed a kiss on her cheek and whispered, “I’ll see you in school tomorrow?”
Fiona just nodded and watched the other girl swagger away. She slumped against the door and let her head fall back shutting her eyes.
She had no idea what she was going to do.
~*~*~*~
It took them a whole three weeks before they talked about it.
In the meantime, Fiona finished all of her art projects for the rest of the semester and was beginning to make an attempt at cracking the requirements to send a few pieces with her college application to San Francisco Academy of Arts which was her dream school. She did not spent hours scouring the internet for an acceptable song to sing at the Wicked audition, because she was not going to audition no matter what Alex says. She also did not spend the last three weeks imagining what it would be like to be with Alex, because no.
They weren’t even making out anymore. Alex had told her point blank that they weren’t going to do anything until Fiona was ready and willing to tell Alex why she was so against the idea in the first place. Fiona wanted to both kiss the girl and smack her senseless. It frustrated her to no ends.
They had been seeing less and less of each other. Alex was around only sometimes. They still ate lunch together but everything else was suddenly out of bounds. Fiona wanted to cry, and scream, and punch something because she missed her damn it!
It was like pulling teeth. She didn’t want to tell her. She was afraid to tell her, but she was probably going to.
So they were stuck in this odd game of cat and mouse and Fiona wasn’t used to being the mouse. And she knew that if she wanted to regain her status as cat, she needed to make a sacrifice for Alex.
She was standing outside of her classroom waiting for Alex to come out so that they could walk to the art room for lunch, but today she decided that maybe they should have lunch in the cafeteria. She worried her lip as she waited for Alex to appear.
It was kind of disconcerting when Alex walked out of the classroom laughing with another girl. She pushed the girl’s bangs away from her eyes and smiled and Fiona swore. Apparently, like always she was too late.
She turned around and made to make her way to the art room because Alex apparently had other plans for lunch when she heard her name being called.
She turned around slowly and smiled, “Yeah?”
Alex stepped away from her new friend who smirked at Fiona over Alex’s shoulder. Fiona quickly tapped down the urge to throttle the girl. She didn’t do jealousy, at least not anymore.
Alex placed one hand deep into the pocket of her baggy jeans and pulled out a blank CD case, “Just listen to it. I think it will give you the courage to try out.”
Fiona just nodded taking the CD carefully. She looked at the girl expectantly and Alex gave her a small apologetic smile, “I can’t have lunch with you today, but tell Betsy I’ll be around, around three. We could have some coffee and make her tell us another one of her horror stories.”
She looked really hopeful. Fiona forced a smile and nodded, “Of course.”
Alex smiled and turned around. She walked over to the perky blonde in the slutty cheerleading uniform and wrapped one arm around her shoulder and walked away.
Fiona also did not cry when she reached the art room. If her eyes were a little red it was totally the fumes coming from the turpentine.
She had called Betsy and had told her that she couldn’t make it in today. Yes it was petty of her, but her mom also needed the break.
After turning off her phone and closing her laptop she pulled out the old school stereo she had in her closet and stuck her head phones on it. She laid back in her bed and closed her eyes then pressed play.
The first song was Barbra Streisand’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade” from Funny Girl. Fiona found that endlessly amusing.
The CD was full of soothing voices with amazing range that talked about words of courage. She had also put Indina Menzel’s version of “Defying Gravity.”
It wasn’t until she got to the fifth song that her eyes snapped open.
She played it through once before pressing repeat and listening to the song over and over and over. She then grabbed her laptop and googled it. She found the song and the sheet music and was already half way through a routine in her mind, before she stopped and realized what she was doing.
She was really seriously considering auditioning for the part of Elpheba.
She closed her laptop for a second and sighed. Did she really want to do this?
She looked at the clock to see that it was nearing five o’clock.
The auditions were in a week. She had a week to find a band willing to play with her and willing to practice and help her get this perfect.
She threw herself back in her bed and sighed closing her eyes. It would be impossible to find a band in such short notice and the actual music for the song was nowhere to be found.
She placed her hand on her stomach.
Then her eyes popped open and she grinned, “Eddie.”
She grabbed her Army Surplus jacket and stuck her feet in a pair of boots. She ran downstairs made sure the kids had finished eating and were watching TV, instructed them to call their mother if anything and grabbing her bag ran out of the apartment.
Thirty minutes later found her in a group hug full of strange men.
She laughed giddily as Eddie gripped her as everyone separated and tugged her to his side on the couch, “What the hell are you doing here Fifi?”
Fiona bit her lip, “It’s been too long?”
He nodded smiling, “Yes it has been. I figured that you hated us since Miranda…”
“I don’t hate you guys,” she said cutting him off and looking at everyone else so that they knew they were all included. “I just thought that without her you guys wouldn’t like me.”
There was another impromptu group hug and then they all say around telling her stories of how the band was doing. She smiled and laughed along with them wrapping her arms around her knees and just listening to them as they spoke of their adventures.
It was nearly an hour before Eddie turned to her, “Now I know you, and I know you didn’t come here to just speak to us even though it has been two years. So tell me what is it you really came here for?”
She took a deep breath, “Well I do actually need a favor.”
Eddie looked smug about that.
Fiona ignored him, “You see my school is doing the production Wicked.”
“What is Wicked?” one of the guys from the back asked.
“It’s a Broadway musical,” Eddie replied before telling her to go on.
“And I sort of want to try out for Elpheba, but there is this girl who is freaking amazing and I probably won’t beat her for the part. I wasn’t planning on even going for the part but then a friend gave me this CD that has this awesome version of ‘Defying Gravity’ and I so want to try it. The only problem is that I need a band and I don’t know anyone else who would help. Or learn the song in such short notice.”
“And you were hoping we would help?”
She nodded looking at all of them with pleading eyes.
“When is the audition?”
“Next week Friday,” she answered promptly.
“Damn kiddo,” Eddie replied.
She looked at him already resigned to the fact that he was going to say no. He just looked at her and then ran his hand down his face. It was the thing he did when he was going to cave, so she attempted to keep her victory grin out of her face when he spoke the words, “Where is the sheet music?”
~*~*~*~
Since that was Friday afternoon, Monday morning found Fiona signing her name under the audition list for the play. She sighed feeling oddly pleased with herself. She was a little achy from all of the practice she’d been doing with the guys.
Eddie had gotten it into his head that she needed to be flying during the last part of the song, because that would help her stand out from the rest. At first she was against the idea, because who wants theatrics, but then they took her up in the air on a makeshift swing on the set and she really liked the feeling of flying. She had grinned widely and told Eddie that she would try it.
Trying it ended up being more painful than a success, but by Sunday she was able to move where she wanted to while in the air. The only thing left to do was learn to control her voice while suspended.
She finished dotting the “i” in her name before turning around, and stopping short at the sight in front of her.
She hadn’t forgotten about Alex, far from it. But she had put it out of her mind that they needed to talk, because she really liked Alex, might actually be thinking about the possibility that if they continued in the direction they were, she could actually probably fall in love with her. So they needed to talk and clear the air so that they could give each other a second chance, but all of that had momentarily taken back seat to her deeply rooted desire to steal Elpheba from Madison.
It came back at full force along with a side serving of I-want-to-fucking-fuck-you-in-a-fucking-closet-right-fucking-now, because standing right across the hall from her wearing a freaking cheerleading uniform was Alex.
The girl sauntered over and Fiona noticed that she had trimmed her Mohawk so that it was even with the growing hair on her head.
“Hey,” she said gulping and pressing against the wall. Alex smiled and placed her hands on either side of Fiona’s head, “Hey.”
“Did you find the song you were looking for?”
Fiona nodded, “Yeah. Thanks by the way. Those were awesome song choices.”
She was breathless. She wanted Alex to kiss her. She wanted to sift her fingers through the short hair and tug her closer.
“It was no problem,” Alex whispered standing close enough that their bare knees were kissing.
“You’re a cheerleader,” Fiona whispered fingers flexing because she wanted to put her hands all over.
Alex nodded looking suddenly self-conscious, “Apparently my mom took a black light to the back seat of her car and girl’s can leave stains behind too. So she says that either I try out to become a cheer leader or she ships me off to military school.”
“Whoa,” Fiona whispered licking her lips. “I am so sorry.”
“I’m not,” Alex whispered suddenly before pushing their bodies close together so that they were touching and the bare skin of their thighs were pressed up against each other. “I didn’t exactly mind dirtying it up either.”
“We need to talk,” Fiona said before this got even more out of hand. It seemed to be going in the general direction of making out, but they didn’t do that anymore, and Fiona really wanted to clear the air before they did, because if they didn’t then she would never be able to tell her why she was so against the idea of letting her take her.
Alex nodded and dipped her head down until their lips were almost touching, “Are you going to tell me about it?”
Fiona was afraid to move, afraid that if she did and their lips touched it would be game over. She raised her hands and gently pushed the girl back. “Preferably talking when you’re not that close and maybe after school,” she amended when the bell rang.
She pulled out from her back pocket the card that had the address for the bar she’d spent the weekend at and handed it to her, “Meet me here after school. There are some people I want you to meet.”
Alex just took the card and leaned down to press a kiss on her cheek, “I’ll be there.”
She turned and left Fiona there. The girl took a deep breath before turning around walking as fast as she could to the bathroom before she went after Alex and really did drag her into a janitor’s closet.
~*~*~*~
“So you’re in love with a cheerleader?”
Fiona flushed read and turned away from the guys. She had told Eddie that Alex was coming to talk so that they were going to start rehearsal a little late. They were all for it. They had to rehearse for a gig anyway. When she told them about the cheerleading uniform Alex was wearing that morning, they all began teasing her.
“Oh look at her,” Eddie said loudly. “She’s blushing!”
“Awe,” chorused the other members in unison.
“Shut up,” Fiona says throwing herself down on the edge of the stage and letting her head fall back.
“Come on don’t be like that little pet,” Sally was the only girl in the band and the gayest straight girl ever. She would be bisexual if lesbian sex didn’t freak her out a bit. “You should kick Eds off the stage and show him you can do better than he can.”
She snorted, “He knows I can do better than he can.”
“Then why don’t you prove it,” Eddie’s voice thundered loudly as he yelled into the microphone. Both girls cringe and jump.
Fiona gets up and runs over to him. She shoves him out of the way and grabs his microphone.
“Show me what you got,” she yelled.
The band began playing a familiar song and Fiona smirked at him mouthing the words, ‘You’re going down.’
They both began singing the song about falling into a crush but wanting something more. Fiona could relate to it very well. It was also a very danceable song, before she could stop herself she was practically grinding up against Eddie and spinning and playing the part of coy girl and he was attempting to seduce her. It was very ‘Baby, it’s cold outside.’
When the song ended, they were right in front of each other looking like they were a few seconds away from making out with each other.
That’s when the slow clapping began. Fiona looked at the entrance of the club to see Alex standing there still in her cheerleading uniform, but added to it was a backwards cap and the hoodie from three weeks ago.
Fiona was barely able to restrain herself from jumping down and wrapping herself around her like a snake and never letting go. The only thing stopping her from doing so was that Eddie had wrapped a hand around her wrist and whispered into her ear, “Is that your cheerleader?”
Fiona just nodded her head slowly.
“She’s freaking hot,” he whispered.
She laughed and pulled away.
“That was great Fi,” Alex says swaggering forward her hands deep in the pockets. “I knew you could kick ass.”
Fiona just smiled and jumped down from the stage, “Thanks.”
They both just stared at each other for a couple of prolonged minutes before Eddie cleared his throat, “Are you going to introduce us to your friend or are you going to stare at her all day?”
Fiona flushed and looked over at Eddie giving him the middle finger salute, “Guys meet Alex. Alex these are the guys. Now come on.”
She grabbed Alex’s hand that had made an appearance out of her pocket to wave at them and tugged her along to the private room where there were soundproof walls and zero camera surveillance so that whatever happened in that room stayed in that room.
She pushed Alex in ignoring the cat calls and closed the door behind her leaning against it afterwards, “They mean well honestly, but sometimes I want to murder them.”
She opened her eyes to find Alex standing right in front of her, “What do they think we’re going to do in here?”
Fiona flushed and looked away, “I told them that we were going to talk. I’ve got to tell you something.”
“Isn’t talking usually a euphemism for sex?”
Fiona closed her eyes, “Lexi. I gotta tell you something. I want to tell you something. I have to tell you, please let me tell you. If I don’t tell you I won’t ever be able to tell you.”
Alex pushed against her dipping her knees down a bit so that they were the same height, “So tell me.”
“Lex,” she whimpered biting her lip and looking back at her. “I want to tell you about Miranda.”
“Who’s Miranda?” Alex asked wrapping her fingers around Fiona’s wrists and sliding her hands down to thread their fingers together.
“She’s the reason why I won’t let you take me,” Fiona whispered eyes shut tight.
~*~*~*~
Fiona would really like to say that she lost her virginity in a warm and comfortable bed with someone she really and truly loved at a period in time that she was ready for it. She would also like to say that she was prepared for it and all the consequences that came after.
She would have at least loved to say that she knew the person she was losing it too.
But none of that was true.
Well she had kind of known who Miranda was. She might have had a crush of epic proportions on her, but she had never really spoken to her.
Fiona lost her virginity in the back alley wall of an underage club, against the cold harsh stone at the age of thirteen to a girl who didn’t even stick around after orgasm to help her fix herself up.
It was a complete and total shock to her system. Fiona couldn’t handle what it all meant. So she deluded herself into thinking that Miranda must love her if she took her virginity right? Right?
In the end it didn’t really matter. Because she was already too gone for Miranda to really care about whether or not the girl actually felt the same for her. For almost two years, Miranda strung her around using her and practically abusing her. That is until one day she suddenly disappeared from her life.
Fiona built walls around herself so tall and thick that she thought no one would ever get in ever.
But Alex, Alex managed to break through her wall in one day and practically built a nest in her heart and her mind and get under her skin and make her freak out like no one was able to.
Alex who instead of leaving her and acting disgusted after she finished telling her story just kissed her softly as if she might break and whispered, “Thank you.”
Fiona felt shaky. She still crawled into Alex’s lap and stuffed her head into her shoulder. She wasn’t crying but she wanted the comfort anyway.
Alex let her use her as a bed and then all of the exhaustion from that weekend and from all of the emotional oppression she had going on crashed down on her and she passed out.
When she came to, there were five faces looking down at her.
“She’s awake!” Eddie exclaimed.
Fiona sat up and looked around herself drowsily, “What’s going on?”
She felt something tighten around her hips and looked behind her to see Alex sleeping. She watched her for a second before turning to the guys, who were all watching her in amusement.
“We stopped hearing conversation and figured that you were you know,” Sally said looking like she was about to pinch her cheek or do something equally embarrassing. “But then you were quiet for too long and we know it’s not possible for anyone to go one for that long so we decided to come and check up on you guys.”
“And you were sleeping!” Eddie exclaimed.
“We took pictures,” Chris exclaimed from the back of the group were he was obscured by his laptop and Fiona just knew that spelled out trouble.
“Why would you take pictures?” she asked laying back down and letting the still asleep Alex drag her back to tuck her into her chest.
“Because you’re too cute,” practically the whole group exclaimed together.
“You guys are gay,” Alex mumbled from behind her neck without even opening her eyes.
“Says the girl wrapped around the other girl,” Sally says smirking.
Alex just flips her off and lifts her leg to hook her thigh right around Fiona’s. Fiona tries not to blush but fails miserably, “This is why I stopped hanging out with them.”
There was a lot of indignant sputtering before Eddie managed to control himself enough to lunge at them and begin an impromptu tickle war.
After several minutes, in which Alex and Fiona double teamed Eddie and ended up in a pile of limbs on the floor Sally spoke again, “We were actually here for another reason too.”
Everyone looked at her like she was crazy.
She rolled her eyes, “Guys. The club opens in an hour. We gotta practice Fifi’s song before then.”
There was some scrambling around while Alex looked at Fiona in amusement, “Fifi?”
Fiona blushed and refused to answer. She stood up and practically ran back to the stage.
The few bar employee’s watched in amusement as Eddie strapped Fiona in the harness.
“You sure you remember how to use this thing right?”
Fiona rolled her eyes, “You’re the one who has to pull me up Eds. I would hope you knew how to use it.”
Eddie just tugged on it pulling the strap a bit tight. Fiona glared at him and then he pulled back, “You’re ready.”
Fiona looked at Alex who was sitting down on top of the bar completely ignoring the guy behind who was attempting to flirt with her in favor of licking her lips and sending several suggestive looks at Fiona.
“Count us down Sal,” Fiona says walking up to the wireless microphone.
Sally tapped her drumsticks together and counted down loudly. The song began very loudly. It was a very eighties rock song.
Fiona just moved to the music for a bit before beginning to sing. She moved all over the stage her eyes glued on Alex who was watching her with equal fervor.
Fiona turned around and sang to Sally who pointed the drumstick at her, before turning and looking at Alex. She shook her body around, before getting to the slower part of the song. She kneeled down on the floor and sang before getting up slowly and heading to the edge of the stage. When she was going to hit that long note, she made a signal and jumped off the stage.
Eddie pulled her up into the air where she kept singing swinging around like a demented doll flying like a super hero and sort of keeping up with the notes. At least it sounded better than it did on Saturday.
As the song ended and slowed down Eddie lowered her down slowly and she spun around until she touched the floor and bowed.
She looked up again at Alex who licked her lips and slid down from the bar. She made her way slowly to the stage and Fiona waited on pins and needles bouncing on the balls of her feet and feeling a bit uncomfortable because of the slight pain caused by the harness.
She only spoke when Alex finally reached the stage, “So what did you think?”
Alex lifted herself up on the stage and walked the few steps over to Fiona, “I knew you were going to choose that song.”
She practically breathed the words and Fiona got a glimpse of her green eyes almost completely obscured by her pupils before leaned down and pressed their mouths together.
Fiona wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled back, “Was that a good thing?”
Alex laughed and pulled away, “Let’s get you out of this harness and back home so I can show you how much I like watching you perform.”
~*~*~*~
Part Four
Author: Ly-Marie Ramos
Wordcount: 50,270 in total (7342 this part)
Characters: Original Characters: Fiona Emerson and Alexandria Dawson
Pairing(s): Fiona/Alex
Genre: Original Fiction
Notes: I am so proud of this story its ridiculous =D
Summary: Fiona Emerson has issues, and Alexandria Dawson might have the remedy that is if she ever lets her break down the wall Fiona has built around herself.
Fiona was pulled out of her dreams that were oddly based on aliens taking over the universe and human beings using the power of song to stop them from doing it, by someone yelling in her ear, “God mom! I’m up!”
She might have jumped off her bed in her haste to get away from the noise and had fallen hard to the floor. She groaned and crawled back to her bed in time to hear Alex’s voice, “Fi? You still there? Little darling, hello.”
She searched blindly for her phone. She found it just when Alex says, “Guess you’re still asleep.”
“No,” Fiona managed to mumble. “Your shriek of horror woke me up.”
She sighed as Alex apologized, “What time is it anyway?”
“Quarter to five,” the girl over the phone says apologetically.
Fiona glared at the phone, “Does your mom not know that school doesn’t start until eight o’clock?”
“She does,” Alex says distractedly and Fiona leaned back into her pillows as she heard the girl begin to prepare her things for school. “But I asked to borrow her car.”
“Why?” Fiona asked yawning and letting her eyes fall shut again.
“Because,” Alex says sounding nervous. “I want to take you out on a date.”
“A date?” Fiona asked still half asleep.
“Yes a date,” Alex says defensively. “Dinner and a movie or something like that. I plan on wooing you.”
Fiona snorted, “‘Wooing me?’ I’m already making out with you Alex, you don’t need to woo me.”
She could practically feel Alex shrugging over the phone, “I still want to take you out.”
“Whatever you want Lexi,” she mumbled feeling herself falling back to sleep.
She heard Alex chuckle, “Sleep well Fi. I’ll text you that I’m picking you up because I doubt you’ll remember.”
“Mmmkay,” Fiona sighed before letting her hand drop and falling back to sleep.
When she woke up for the second time, it wasn’t because of another shriek. It was to the sweet, sweet smell of coffee coming from the mug that her mom had probably placed on her dresser on her way in from the hospital.
She grabbed the mug blindly and drank the scalding quickly burning her mouth slightly, but it kicked her awake enough so that she didn’t jump when her alarm went off.
She looked over at the time to see that it was a quarter to seven. She stretched out and grabbed her phone.
There was a text message from Alex, I still fully plan on wooing you. So you better prepare yourself. I am also picking you up to take you to school. So seven fifteen sound good?
Fiona pulled the sheets off of her body and ran into her shower smiling widely.
She’d never had any person actively try to date her. It was usually one night stands or Miranda. Miranda didn’t even date her or take her out. She just told her they were a thing and that was it.
She jumped out of the shower singing and dancing a bit. Getting dressed had never really been a problem for her. She usually just grabbed the first thing that she came into contact with and went with it. Today she was rethinking all of her wardrobe choices, like Alex was going to like her less if she wore something different.
That was stupid. Alex wouldn’t care about it. She pulled on a skirt made of patches that were green conscious and had help the environment type of sayings, a black t-shirt with the words “I Am in Lesbians With You” written in gold across the front.
She had just pulled on her boots and knee length black jacket when the door bell rang. She grabbed her bag and her keys and stood in the middle of the room trying to remember if she needed anything for school today.
The door bell rang again and her mother’s voice rang out, “If you don’t get that I am making one of the kids do it.”
Fiona ran out of her room and to the door before it rang again.
She could hear her mother coaxing Kate into wearing something not pink while Bobby was taking his shower. Their morning routines were mostly like that. Her mom bringing her coffee before dealing with the children, then once they were all out of the house she would pass out on the couch, which really wasn’t good for her back.
Fiona opened the door and there stood Alex smiling sheepishly at her. She was dressed in the usual baggy jeans and hoodie combo but it was kind of endearing to Fiona. She was also holding a rose in her right hand which she gave to Fiona once she opened the door.
Fiona smiled and stepped forward closing the door behind her, “Hey.”
Alex smiled and stuck her hands in her pocket, “Hey.”
Fiona rolled her eyes and wrapped one hand around Alex’s neck before tugging her down for a quick peck. Alex made a noise in protest when she didn’t continue with the kiss and attempted to take matters into her own hands but Fiona danced away from her pushing her back slightly and walking around her, “Come on. You got some wooing to do before I make out with you again.”
“You are such a tease,” Alex muttered.
Fiona just laughed and held out her hand, “Come on Lexi.”
They drove into the school laughing. Fiona had her cup of coffee from Joe’s Café in one hand and a danish in the other. She had been telling Alex the story on how she had literally stumbled into Joe’s Café when they parked.
Alex smiled at her and pressed her lips against her knuckles. She slipped out of the car and walked over to Fiona’s side before opening the door for her. Fiona laughed at the gesture and stepped out of the car.
They walked hand in hand and there were less people talking than there were yesterday which made Fiona glad. They went to class, ate lunch in the art room, Fiona did her best to resist Alex, but she was only human after all, so they made out in the janitor’s closet before their last class too.
After school Alex escorted her to the car and opened the door for her again. Fiona just smiled and pressed a kiss on her cheek, “Where are we going?”
Alex smirked, “You’ll see.”
That is why how she found herself sitting down in a completely chic café she’d never seen before that offered performances as well as great food.
“I know you’re into that theater stuff, and I heard that this group is good at improv. Besides they make the best sandwiches here and hot chocolate and coffee.”
Fiona just smiled at her wanting very much to pull her over the table and kiss her, but the performance was about to start and she really didn’t want to take away from it.
All in all it was a pretty awesome date. Fiona hadn’t been on much of them to use them as a comparison, but it was pretty sweet given the situation.
After the performance and the really awesome sandwiches and some really good chocolate cake, Alex pulled her out of the restaurant, but instead of heading back to her car, she tugged her in the direction of the park.
Alex grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together and they took a stroll through the park. It was pretty quiet probably because it was only Tuesday afternoon and everyone else was either working or doing homework.
They walked in silence for a minute just enjoying each other’s company until Alex broke it, “How did you get into art?”
Fiona looked at her pulling at her lip and smiled sadly at her, “My dad.”
She took a deep breath and tugged Alex over to one of the benches. She sat down and began playing with Alex’s fingers as she attempted to figure out a way to tell her this story. It was in some ways harder to tell than the Miranda story, and she wasn’t anywhere near ready to tell anyone that story.
“My dad was an amazing artist,” she began looking out at the sky. “He could make something breathtaking out of nothing at all. I remember being four and hiding in his studio and smelling the paint and sitting down and finger painting my own little works of art. He never cared. He always said that they were amazing that I had amazing potential.”
Fiona took a deep breath and looked back at Alex, “I was seven when we found out that my mom was pregnant with Bobby. I was ecstatic because I was going to get a baby brother. It was only after my dad left that I realized that all the fights they were having were because my baby brother wasn’t my father’s kid. It sort of broke my heart and I resented my mother for a while because of it. Wished she had never gotten pregnant in the first place, but the second I held Bobby in my arms I knew that I would’ve been very sad if that had actually happened. I started painting and drawing and sculpting and all of that with a fever after Bobby was born. I figured that if I was good enough my dad would come back.”
“Fi,” Alex began but stopped herself and pulled the girl into a hug.
Fiona wriggled for a little bit before settling down and tucking her head in Alex’s shoulder.
“You know you are an amazingly brave person,” Alex began. “When my parent’s got a divorce, the first thing I did was rebel and go out of my way to make both their lives miserable. After a while I got it, the way this happened. It wasn’t because I wasn’t a good enough daughter, a straight enough daughter. It was because they weren’t happy together. You gotta remember that Fi. It’s not on you that your parents aren’t together anymore. It’s all on them, and it is not going to do anyone any good if you keep blaming yourself for it.”
Fiona sighed against Alex and pressed a kiss on her neck, “I cannot honestly believe we are having this moment in a park bench in broad daylight.”
Alex chuckled and ruffled a hand through her hair, “Where would you prefer to have it?”
Fiona shrugged and leaned up a bit to whisper in her ear, “Somewhere darker, with a lot more privacy and a bed I could push you on.”
Fiona felt the warmth from the rush of blood on Alex’s cheeks and she pressed a kiss there.
Alex cleared her throat, “You do know not everything is about sex right?”
Fiona felt a sting at those words but shrugged them off like a pro, “I know Lexi, but like I said before I find it very difficult to control my urges.”
She tugged on Alex’s earlobe with her teeth and felt the girl’s heart beat quicken, “What do you want Fi?”
Fiona grinned and began to lightly trail her hands over Alex’s shoulders. She panted into the girl’s ear, “I want to fuck you. Preferably with my tongue. Preferably on a bed, but I’m really not all that picky.”
She felt Alex pull her on her lap and her fingers dug into her shoulders as she continued, “The back seat of your car is particularly huge.”
She felt Alex groan, “It’s my mom’s car Fi.”
Fiona pulled back to look at the girl whose eyes were glazed over with lust and mouth was open as she breathed sharp little breaths, “All the better then.”
She pulled Alex up by her hoodie and pressed their mouths together the angle was difficult to manage but they managed it.
Fiona straddled her properly on the bench, thighs pressing around her thighs with her knees tucked right by her hips. Alex’s hands automatically began massaging the exposed skin of her upper thigh and she gave a groan. She pulled at the hoodie until the zipper zipped down a bit and exposed Alex’s neck before she moved her mouth to the tan skin and began to suck a bruise right there, because Fiona could be possessive too.
Alex wrapped one arm around her waist and the other went to the back of her neck and Fiona took that as encouragement and bit down sucking and nibbling like if she was a vampire.
After several minutes she felt Alex thrust her hips up and Fiona snaked a hand down to slip under her shirt and to the hot skin of her tummy. She bit down at the same second that she dipped a finger into her belly button and Alex gave a loud moan.
She figured by now they were attracting attention. She pulled away from Alex’s neck and eyed the bruise in appreciation. It was already turning purple and Fiona knew it would be dark indeed. She continued patting Alex’s stomach while whispering, “If we don’t go to the car now I swear I’ll pull your pants down and eat you out right here.”
She felt Alex’s hips stutter at that and she smirked, “So you’re a voyeur?”
Alex just groaned and tipped her head back. She pushed Fiona off her lap and then stood up. Fiona was feeling hot everything felt tight and raw. She wanted to make Alex feel good right now because the girl was still watching her with glazed eyes.
They barely made it to the car. Alex pinned her to a tree, a light post and even another car before they were scrambling for the back seat.
It was probably lucky that they had parked in such a secluded spot. Because that meant they didn’t have to wait anymore. Alex unlocked the door, but hesitated before opening the back door.
“Are you sure you want to do this Fi?”
Fiona looked at her for a second before pushing her against the car door and pressing a kiss into her mouth, “Get into the car princess.”
Alex snorted and opened the door. She sat down then gazed at Fiona coyly through her eye lashes. She laid back and slipped her pants down her long legs before throwing it to the front seat. Fiona took one look at the girl on full display before her and then she dropped her jacket to the floor and crawled over her body pressing down on her and stifling any protest she might have had with a kiss.
~*~*~*~
A loud thumping noise woke Fiona up. She opened her eyes blearily and looked over to see a light shinning in her eyes.
She squinted and could make out a police officer. She went over to the window and rolled it down.
“Yes?”
The police officer looked vaguely surprised to see her clothed, “It’s getting close to closing time. The parking garage closes in ten minutes and we need all the cars out.”
She nodded and rolled the window up before turning to crawl to the front. She was really glad that she had covered Alex after she had fallen asleep, because while Fiona remained with her clothes on Alex wasn’t that lucky.
Fiona smirked at her reflection and started the car. She backed up and waved cheerfully at the officer before heading to her house.
She parked in front in the secluded apartment parking lot and turned off the car. She looked back at Alex who still hadn’t moved. She had fallen asleep almost after she had come. Fiona remembered crawling up her body afterward and placed her fingers into Alex’s mouth. Alex sucked at them then kissed her before smiling contently and falling asleep.
Fiona had carded her fingers through her hair before lying basically on top of her and falling asleep too.
Now, she crawled back into the back seat and straddled the sleeping girl. She leaned forward and licked at the purple bruise she had left on her neck. She heard a sleepy sigh and leaned up on her elbows. She saw Alex’s eyes flutter and she pressed their mouths together.
It took a second before Alex began to respond to the kiss. Once she did and was fully awake she slipped her hands right up Fiona’s skirt and began petting her thighs.
It was like if just because they had sex, Alex felt she had the right to feel her up.
She was about to pull away and call her on it when the girl grabbed her and pushed her hips down. Fiona panted against her mouth, “Lexi.”
She couldn’t help herself. She gripped her thighs tighter around Alex’s as the girl hiked one leg up so that her knee was right there.
“Alex,” she whispered trying to pull back. “No.”
But Alex refused to let go. She gripped the backs of Fiona’s knees and pushed her down on to her knee and Fiona’s eyes rolled to the back of her head.
“Alex wait,” she panted and began to disentangle herself from Alex. The other girl watched her concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
Fiona shook her head, “I don’t have time to do this. I have to go.”
“Fi,” Alex says gripping her arms. “What is it?”
Fiona shook her head and pulled away. She wanted to…oh god, she wanted to let Alex take her. She wanted to take everything she’d kept safe inside for the past two years and hand it over to Alex on a silver platter. The thought of that scared her more than she was willing to admit.
She got out of the car and scrambled back glad that Alex was too undressed to follow her. She grabbed her bag from the passenger seat as Alex struggled to put her pants back on and rushed into her apartment complex.
It was probably unfortunate that Alex was fast dresser, because once she opened the door she could hear Alex following behind her.
She ignored the looks she was getting from the other tenants and attempted to reach inside of her apartment before Alex reached her. That turned out to be a false illusion, because the second she reached her door, before she was able to open it she was pushed against it.
She felt Alex’s breath hit the back of her neck, “I know I said I wouldn’t push you and I know we barely know each other, but Fi, if you keep pushing me away anytime I get too close we aren’t going to go anywhere.”
Fiona didn’t fight against her, “I’m sorry. I just can’t Alex, please don’t make me.”
Alex turned her around, “You can’t what exactly?”
Fiona gulped, “I can’t have sex with you, not in the way you want me to.”
“You mean you won’t let me fuck you,” Alex says and the harsh way she says it makes Fiona flinch, but she nods anyway. “And you won’t tell me why?”
Fiona froze and remembered a dark alley and a scared fourteen year old girl pressed up against the wall by her newest friend.
She had lost her virginity that day, and Miranda didn’t even bother to wait until she was dressed before leaving.
She focused back to Alex who was looking at her with her wide expressive green eyes which were shining with concern, “I can’t.”
Alex closed her eyes for a second.
She opened them and half smiled at her. She pressed a kiss on her cheek and whispered, “I’ll see you in school tomorrow?”
Fiona just nodded and watched the other girl swagger away. She slumped against the door and let her head fall back shutting her eyes.
She had no idea what she was going to do.
~*~*~*~
It took them a whole three weeks before they talked about it.
In the meantime, Fiona finished all of her art projects for the rest of the semester and was beginning to make an attempt at cracking the requirements to send a few pieces with her college application to San Francisco Academy of Arts which was her dream school. She did not spent hours scouring the internet for an acceptable song to sing at the Wicked audition, because she was not going to audition no matter what Alex says. She also did not spend the last three weeks imagining what it would be like to be with Alex, because no.
They weren’t even making out anymore. Alex had told her point blank that they weren’t going to do anything until Fiona was ready and willing to tell Alex why she was so against the idea in the first place. Fiona wanted to both kiss the girl and smack her senseless. It frustrated her to no ends.
They had been seeing less and less of each other. Alex was around only sometimes. They still ate lunch together but everything else was suddenly out of bounds. Fiona wanted to cry, and scream, and punch something because she missed her damn it!
It was like pulling teeth. She didn’t want to tell her. She was afraid to tell her, but she was probably going to.
So they were stuck in this odd game of cat and mouse and Fiona wasn’t used to being the mouse. And she knew that if she wanted to regain her status as cat, she needed to make a sacrifice for Alex.
She was standing outside of her classroom waiting for Alex to come out so that they could walk to the art room for lunch, but today she decided that maybe they should have lunch in the cafeteria. She worried her lip as she waited for Alex to appear.
It was kind of disconcerting when Alex walked out of the classroom laughing with another girl. She pushed the girl’s bangs away from her eyes and smiled and Fiona swore. Apparently, like always she was too late.
She turned around and made to make her way to the art room because Alex apparently had other plans for lunch when she heard her name being called.
She turned around slowly and smiled, “Yeah?”
Alex stepped away from her new friend who smirked at Fiona over Alex’s shoulder. Fiona quickly tapped down the urge to throttle the girl. She didn’t do jealousy, at least not anymore.
Alex placed one hand deep into the pocket of her baggy jeans and pulled out a blank CD case, “Just listen to it. I think it will give you the courage to try out.”
Fiona just nodded taking the CD carefully. She looked at the girl expectantly and Alex gave her a small apologetic smile, “I can’t have lunch with you today, but tell Betsy I’ll be around, around three. We could have some coffee and make her tell us another one of her horror stories.”
She looked really hopeful. Fiona forced a smile and nodded, “Of course.”
Alex smiled and turned around. She walked over to the perky blonde in the slutty cheerleading uniform and wrapped one arm around her shoulder and walked away.
Fiona also did not cry when she reached the art room. If her eyes were a little red it was totally the fumes coming from the turpentine.
She had called Betsy and had told her that she couldn’t make it in today. Yes it was petty of her, but her mom also needed the break.
After turning off her phone and closing her laptop she pulled out the old school stereo she had in her closet and stuck her head phones on it. She laid back in her bed and closed her eyes then pressed play.
The first song was Barbra Streisand’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade” from Funny Girl. Fiona found that endlessly amusing.
The CD was full of soothing voices with amazing range that talked about words of courage. She had also put Indina Menzel’s version of “Defying Gravity.”
It wasn’t until she got to the fifth song that her eyes snapped open.
She played it through once before pressing repeat and listening to the song over and over and over. She then grabbed her laptop and googled it. She found the song and the sheet music and was already half way through a routine in her mind, before she stopped and realized what she was doing.
She was really seriously considering auditioning for the part of Elpheba.
She closed her laptop for a second and sighed. Did she really want to do this?
She looked at the clock to see that it was nearing five o’clock.
The auditions were in a week. She had a week to find a band willing to play with her and willing to practice and help her get this perfect.
She threw herself back in her bed and sighed closing her eyes. It would be impossible to find a band in such short notice and the actual music for the song was nowhere to be found.
She placed her hand on her stomach.
Then her eyes popped open and she grinned, “Eddie.”
She grabbed her Army Surplus jacket and stuck her feet in a pair of boots. She ran downstairs made sure the kids had finished eating and were watching TV, instructed them to call their mother if anything and grabbing her bag ran out of the apartment.
Thirty minutes later found her in a group hug full of strange men.
She laughed giddily as Eddie gripped her as everyone separated and tugged her to his side on the couch, “What the hell are you doing here Fifi?”
Fiona bit her lip, “It’s been too long?”
He nodded smiling, “Yes it has been. I figured that you hated us since Miranda…”
“I don’t hate you guys,” she said cutting him off and looking at everyone else so that they knew they were all included. “I just thought that without her you guys wouldn’t like me.”
There was another impromptu group hug and then they all say around telling her stories of how the band was doing. She smiled and laughed along with them wrapping her arms around her knees and just listening to them as they spoke of their adventures.
It was nearly an hour before Eddie turned to her, “Now I know you, and I know you didn’t come here to just speak to us even though it has been two years. So tell me what is it you really came here for?”
She took a deep breath, “Well I do actually need a favor.”
Eddie looked smug about that.
Fiona ignored him, “You see my school is doing the production Wicked.”
“What is Wicked?” one of the guys from the back asked.
“It’s a Broadway musical,” Eddie replied before telling her to go on.
“And I sort of want to try out for Elpheba, but there is this girl who is freaking amazing and I probably won’t beat her for the part. I wasn’t planning on even going for the part but then a friend gave me this CD that has this awesome version of ‘Defying Gravity’ and I so want to try it. The only problem is that I need a band and I don’t know anyone else who would help. Or learn the song in such short notice.”
“And you were hoping we would help?”
She nodded looking at all of them with pleading eyes.
“When is the audition?”
“Next week Friday,” she answered promptly.
“Damn kiddo,” Eddie replied.
She looked at him already resigned to the fact that he was going to say no. He just looked at her and then ran his hand down his face. It was the thing he did when he was going to cave, so she attempted to keep her victory grin out of her face when he spoke the words, “Where is the sheet music?”
~*~*~*~
Since that was Friday afternoon, Monday morning found Fiona signing her name under the audition list for the play. She sighed feeling oddly pleased with herself. She was a little achy from all of the practice she’d been doing with the guys.
Eddie had gotten it into his head that she needed to be flying during the last part of the song, because that would help her stand out from the rest. At first she was against the idea, because who wants theatrics, but then they took her up in the air on a makeshift swing on the set and she really liked the feeling of flying. She had grinned widely and told Eddie that she would try it.
Trying it ended up being more painful than a success, but by Sunday she was able to move where she wanted to while in the air. The only thing left to do was learn to control her voice while suspended.
She finished dotting the “i” in her name before turning around, and stopping short at the sight in front of her.
She hadn’t forgotten about Alex, far from it. But she had put it out of her mind that they needed to talk, because she really liked Alex, might actually be thinking about the possibility that if they continued in the direction they were, she could actually probably fall in love with her. So they needed to talk and clear the air so that they could give each other a second chance, but all of that had momentarily taken back seat to her deeply rooted desire to steal Elpheba from Madison.
It came back at full force along with a side serving of I-want-to-fucking-fuck-you-in-a-fucking-closet-right-fucking-now, because standing right across the hall from her wearing a freaking cheerleading uniform was Alex.
The girl sauntered over and Fiona noticed that she had trimmed her Mohawk so that it was even with the growing hair on her head.
“Hey,” she said gulping and pressing against the wall. Alex smiled and placed her hands on either side of Fiona’s head, “Hey.”
“Did you find the song you were looking for?”
Fiona nodded, “Yeah. Thanks by the way. Those were awesome song choices.”
She was breathless. She wanted Alex to kiss her. She wanted to sift her fingers through the short hair and tug her closer.
“It was no problem,” Alex whispered standing close enough that their bare knees were kissing.
“You’re a cheerleader,” Fiona whispered fingers flexing because she wanted to put her hands all over.
Alex nodded looking suddenly self-conscious, “Apparently my mom took a black light to the back seat of her car and girl’s can leave stains behind too. So she says that either I try out to become a cheer leader or she ships me off to military school.”
“Whoa,” Fiona whispered licking her lips. “I am so sorry.”
“I’m not,” Alex whispered suddenly before pushing their bodies close together so that they were touching and the bare skin of their thighs were pressed up against each other. “I didn’t exactly mind dirtying it up either.”
“We need to talk,” Fiona said before this got even more out of hand. It seemed to be going in the general direction of making out, but they didn’t do that anymore, and Fiona really wanted to clear the air before they did, because if they didn’t then she would never be able to tell her why she was so against the idea of letting her take her.
Alex nodded and dipped her head down until their lips were almost touching, “Are you going to tell me about it?”
Fiona was afraid to move, afraid that if she did and their lips touched it would be game over. She raised her hands and gently pushed the girl back. “Preferably talking when you’re not that close and maybe after school,” she amended when the bell rang.
She pulled out from her back pocket the card that had the address for the bar she’d spent the weekend at and handed it to her, “Meet me here after school. There are some people I want you to meet.”
Alex just took the card and leaned down to press a kiss on her cheek, “I’ll be there.”
She turned and left Fiona there. The girl took a deep breath before turning around walking as fast as she could to the bathroom before she went after Alex and really did drag her into a janitor’s closet.
~*~*~*~
“So you’re in love with a cheerleader?”
Fiona flushed read and turned away from the guys. She had told Eddie that Alex was coming to talk so that they were going to start rehearsal a little late. They were all for it. They had to rehearse for a gig anyway. When she told them about the cheerleading uniform Alex was wearing that morning, they all began teasing her.
“Oh look at her,” Eddie said loudly. “She’s blushing!”
“Awe,” chorused the other members in unison.
“Shut up,” Fiona says throwing herself down on the edge of the stage and letting her head fall back.
“Come on don’t be like that little pet,” Sally was the only girl in the band and the gayest straight girl ever. She would be bisexual if lesbian sex didn’t freak her out a bit. “You should kick Eds off the stage and show him you can do better than he can.”
She snorted, “He knows I can do better than he can.”
“Then why don’t you prove it,” Eddie’s voice thundered loudly as he yelled into the microphone. Both girls cringe and jump.
Fiona gets up and runs over to him. She shoves him out of the way and grabs his microphone.
“Show me what you got,” she yelled.
The band began playing a familiar song and Fiona smirked at him mouthing the words, ‘You’re going down.’
They both began singing the song about falling into a crush but wanting something more. Fiona could relate to it very well. It was also a very danceable song, before she could stop herself she was practically grinding up against Eddie and spinning and playing the part of coy girl and he was attempting to seduce her. It was very ‘Baby, it’s cold outside.’
When the song ended, they were right in front of each other looking like they were a few seconds away from making out with each other.
That’s when the slow clapping began. Fiona looked at the entrance of the club to see Alex standing there still in her cheerleading uniform, but added to it was a backwards cap and the hoodie from three weeks ago.
Fiona was barely able to restrain herself from jumping down and wrapping herself around her like a snake and never letting go. The only thing stopping her from doing so was that Eddie had wrapped a hand around her wrist and whispered into her ear, “Is that your cheerleader?”
Fiona just nodded her head slowly.
“She’s freaking hot,” he whispered.
She laughed and pulled away.
“That was great Fi,” Alex says swaggering forward her hands deep in the pockets. “I knew you could kick ass.”
Fiona just smiled and jumped down from the stage, “Thanks.”
They both just stared at each other for a couple of prolonged minutes before Eddie cleared his throat, “Are you going to introduce us to your friend or are you going to stare at her all day?”
Fiona flushed and looked over at Eddie giving him the middle finger salute, “Guys meet Alex. Alex these are the guys. Now come on.”
She grabbed Alex’s hand that had made an appearance out of her pocket to wave at them and tugged her along to the private room where there were soundproof walls and zero camera surveillance so that whatever happened in that room stayed in that room.
She pushed Alex in ignoring the cat calls and closed the door behind her leaning against it afterwards, “They mean well honestly, but sometimes I want to murder them.”
She opened her eyes to find Alex standing right in front of her, “What do they think we’re going to do in here?”
Fiona flushed and looked away, “I told them that we were going to talk. I’ve got to tell you something.”
“Isn’t talking usually a euphemism for sex?”
Fiona closed her eyes, “Lexi. I gotta tell you something. I want to tell you something. I have to tell you, please let me tell you. If I don’t tell you I won’t ever be able to tell you.”
Alex pushed against her dipping her knees down a bit so that they were the same height, “So tell me.”
“Lex,” she whimpered biting her lip and looking back at her. “I want to tell you about Miranda.”
“Who’s Miranda?” Alex asked wrapping her fingers around Fiona’s wrists and sliding her hands down to thread their fingers together.
“She’s the reason why I won’t let you take me,” Fiona whispered eyes shut tight.
~*~*~*~
Fiona would really like to say that she lost her virginity in a warm and comfortable bed with someone she really and truly loved at a period in time that she was ready for it. She would also like to say that she was prepared for it and all the consequences that came after.
She would have at least loved to say that she knew the person she was losing it too.
But none of that was true.
Well she had kind of known who Miranda was. She might have had a crush of epic proportions on her, but she had never really spoken to her.
Fiona lost her virginity in the back alley wall of an underage club, against the cold harsh stone at the age of thirteen to a girl who didn’t even stick around after orgasm to help her fix herself up.
It was a complete and total shock to her system. Fiona couldn’t handle what it all meant. So she deluded herself into thinking that Miranda must love her if she took her virginity right? Right?
In the end it didn’t really matter. Because she was already too gone for Miranda to really care about whether or not the girl actually felt the same for her. For almost two years, Miranda strung her around using her and practically abusing her. That is until one day she suddenly disappeared from her life.
Fiona built walls around herself so tall and thick that she thought no one would ever get in ever.
But Alex, Alex managed to break through her wall in one day and practically built a nest in her heart and her mind and get under her skin and make her freak out like no one was able to.
Alex who instead of leaving her and acting disgusted after she finished telling her story just kissed her softly as if she might break and whispered, “Thank you.”
Fiona felt shaky. She still crawled into Alex’s lap and stuffed her head into her shoulder. She wasn’t crying but she wanted the comfort anyway.
Alex let her use her as a bed and then all of the exhaustion from that weekend and from all of the emotional oppression she had going on crashed down on her and she passed out.
When she came to, there were five faces looking down at her.
“She’s awake!” Eddie exclaimed.
Fiona sat up and looked around herself drowsily, “What’s going on?”
She felt something tighten around her hips and looked behind her to see Alex sleeping. She watched her for a second before turning to the guys, who were all watching her in amusement.
“We stopped hearing conversation and figured that you were you know,” Sally said looking like she was about to pinch her cheek or do something equally embarrassing. “But then you were quiet for too long and we know it’s not possible for anyone to go one for that long so we decided to come and check up on you guys.”
“And you were sleeping!” Eddie exclaimed.
“We took pictures,” Chris exclaimed from the back of the group were he was obscured by his laptop and Fiona just knew that spelled out trouble.
“Why would you take pictures?” she asked laying back down and letting the still asleep Alex drag her back to tuck her into her chest.
“Because you’re too cute,” practically the whole group exclaimed together.
“You guys are gay,” Alex mumbled from behind her neck without even opening her eyes.
“Says the girl wrapped around the other girl,” Sally says smirking.
Alex just flips her off and lifts her leg to hook her thigh right around Fiona’s. Fiona tries not to blush but fails miserably, “This is why I stopped hanging out with them.”
There was a lot of indignant sputtering before Eddie managed to control himself enough to lunge at them and begin an impromptu tickle war.
After several minutes, in which Alex and Fiona double teamed Eddie and ended up in a pile of limbs on the floor Sally spoke again, “We were actually here for another reason too.”
Everyone looked at her like she was crazy.
She rolled her eyes, “Guys. The club opens in an hour. We gotta practice Fifi’s song before then.”
There was some scrambling around while Alex looked at Fiona in amusement, “Fifi?”
Fiona blushed and refused to answer. She stood up and practically ran back to the stage.
The few bar employee’s watched in amusement as Eddie strapped Fiona in the harness.
“You sure you remember how to use this thing right?”
Fiona rolled her eyes, “You’re the one who has to pull me up Eds. I would hope you knew how to use it.”
Eddie just tugged on it pulling the strap a bit tight. Fiona glared at him and then he pulled back, “You’re ready.”
Fiona looked at Alex who was sitting down on top of the bar completely ignoring the guy behind who was attempting to flirt with her in favor of licking her lips and sending several suggestive looks at Fiona.
“Count us down Sal,” Fiona says walking up to the wireless microphone.
Sally tapped her drumsticks together and counted down loudly. The song began very loudly. It was a very eighties rock song.
Fiona just moved to the music for a bit before beginning to sing. She moved all over the stage her eyes glued on Alex who was watching her with equal fervor.
Fiona turned around and sang to Sally who pointed the drumstick at her, before turning and looking at Alex. She shook her body around, before getting to the slower part of the song. She kneeled down on the floor and sang before getting up slowly and heading to the edge of the stage. When she was going to hit that long note, she made a signal and jumped off the stage.
Eddie pulled her up into the air where she kept singing swinging around like a demented doll flying like a super hero and sort of keeping up with the notes. At least it sounded better than it did on Saturday.
As the song ended and slowed down Eddie lowered her down slowly and she spun around until she touched the floor and bowed.
She looked up again at Alex who licked her lips and slid down from the bar. She made her way slowly to the stage and Fiona waited on pins and needles bouncing on the balls of her feet and feeling a bit uncomfortable because of the slight pain caused by the harness.
She only spoke when Alex finally reached the stage, “So what did you think?”
Alex lifted herself up on the stage and walked the few steps over to Fiona, “I knew you were going to choose that song.”
She practically breathed the words and Fiona got a glimpse of her green eyes almost completely obscured by her pupils before leaned down and pressed their mouths together.
Fiona wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled back, “Was that a good thing?”
Alex laughed and pulled away, “Let’s get you out of this harness and back home so I can show you how much I like watching you perform.”
~*~*~*~
Part Four