Mall Crawl
When I win stuff I didn't even know I was up for, it's awesome.
When I lose stuff I did know I was up for, it sucks.
It's like conferences. When I send things I don't give a shit about, they inevitably get accepted for presentation. When I submit things I really worked hard on, they get rejected. I am going to stop caring about stuff. I think that is a pretty good course of action.
I'm sorry. I'm just grouchy. I spent four hours in the car driving my mom to and from Detroit to see some friends of hers, and I spent two hours (yes, two STRAIGHT HOURS) traipsing around Great Lakes Crossings mall. And we all know how much I love malls. And if we have forgotten, I do NOT love malls. At all.
It's 8/10ths of a mile to walk one lap around the whole mall. We walked around the whole mall, and then around a part of it again, and through about eight thousand stores, spending an UNREAL amount of time in Saks and Neiman Marcus, and let me tell you, if I never set foot in either of them again, it will not make me sad. I looked at the pricetags (and mind you, these are OUTLET stores) and laughed and laughed and laughed. There is no way I would EVER pay $1000 for a jacket that is not made of anything rarer than polyester and wool.
My mother's friend Barbara was there. Barb and I get along so well. *snort* Barbara bought some ugly ass... thing... from Neiman Marcus on sale for thirty bucks. It's a wall fountain, and it has a child's head carved into it somehow, and big scallopy edges, and it is as ugly as it sounds.
Andy: Okay, I give up. What is that?
Barb: Well, it's a wall fountain! Only the pump is broken, so it's on sale.
Andy: But it still has the plug hanging out of it.
Mom: ... so technically... it's an electric planter now.
Barb: [totally not getting the joke] Oh, no, no, it's just you have to cut the cord off! My neighbor is an artist, and she made one just like this for her own house, and she told me she would help me make me one but ugh, can you imagine?! I don't want to waste my time doing that, or forcing her to waste her time trying to help me make one. And this one is such a good deal!
Missy: ... [straight-faced] Yeah, I would totally never want to waste my time on something like that either.
This is probably why Barbara doesn't much care for me, but she brought it upon herself by asking, when I told her where I worked, "Oh, so... is that a community college then?"
ETA: I tried to find a picture of the fountain for you guys, but I couldn't. Seriously. I looked for an hour. That is how horrifically ugly the thing is. NOBODY HAS IT FOR SALE ANYWHERE. As Terri just said, "OMG, it's so ashamed of itself it doesn't even want to be found on the internet".
When I lose stuff I did know I was up for, it sucks.
It's like conferences. When I send things I don't give a shit about, they inevitably get accepted for presentation. When I submit things I really worked hard on, they get rejected. I am going to stop caring about stuff. I think that is a pretty good course of action.
I'm sorry. I'm just grouchy. I spent four hours in the car driving my mom to and from Detroit to see some friends of hers, and I spent two hours (yes, two STRAIGHT HOURS) traipsing around Great Lakes Crossings mall. And we all know how much I love malls. And if we have forgotten, I do NOT love malls. At all.
It's 8/10ths of a mile to walk one lap around the whole mall. We walked around the whole mall, and then around a part of it again, and through about eight thousand stores, spending an UNREAL amount of time in Saks and Neiman Marcus, and let me tell you, if I never set foot in either of them again, it will not make me sad. I looked at the pricetags (and mind you, these are OUTLET stores) and laughed and laughed and laughed. There is no way I would EVER pay $1000 for a jacket that is not made of anything rarer than polyester and wool.
My mother's friend Barbara was there. Barb and I get along so well. *snort* Barbara bought some ugly ass... thing... from Neiman Marcus on sale for thirty bucks. It's a wall fountain, and it has a child's head carved into it somehow, and big scallopy edges, and it is as ugly as it sounds.
Andy: Okay, I give up. What is that?
Barb: Well, it's a wall fountain! Only the pump is broken, so it's on sale.
Andy: But it still has the plug hanging out of it.
Mom: ... so technically... it's an electric planter now.
Barb: [totally not getting the joke] Oh, no, no, it's just you have to cut the cord off! My neighbor is an artist, and she made one just like this for her own house, and she told me she would help me make me one but ugh, can you imagine?! I don't want to waste my time doing that, or forcing her to waste her time trying to help me make one. And this one is such a good deal!
Missy: ... [straight-faced] Yeah, I would totally never want to waste my time on something like that either.
This is probably why Barbara doesn't much care for me, but she brought it upon herself by asking, when I told her where I worked, "Oh, so... is that a community college then?"
ETA: I tried to find a picture of the fountain for you guys, but I couldn't. Seriously. I looked for an hour. That is how horrifically ugly the thing is. NOBODY HAS IT FOR SALE ANYWHERE. As Terri just said, "OMG, it's so ashamed of itself it doesn't even want to be found on the internet".