Should Have Known Better (RPS)
Title: Should Have Known Better
Author: mands_angelfox
Pairing/Characters: Chris/Jensen
Genre: RPS, Romance, Angst
Word Count: 984
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Feedback? Is love. No. Seriously, it is.
Summary: It isn't working and Jensen knows that
Author's Note: My very wonderful beta-reader 11nine73 is to be thanked for removing any and all of my errors. Any that are left over are mine and mine alone. And this was originally inspired by Carrie Underwood's song 'Before He Cheats'
Disclaimer: Isn't real, I know that and you know that, we just wish that it was
Should Have Known Better
He'd always known that getting involved with Christian Kane wouldn't be easy. Not a walk in the park, that much was for damn certain. Stupidly he'd always thought that maybe he'd be the one that was different, the one to make a change in Christian Kane's life but as it turned out, old dogs couldn't learn new tricks.
The first couple of times, Chris had managed to sweet talk his way back into Jensen's good books. Not that it took much, never did when you loved somebody as much as Jensen loved Chris. It was always the same; some blonde bimbo with more breasts than brains and legs that seemed to go on for miles. Jensen's not sure what's worse. That he lets it happen or that every time it does it's with the same type of person.
Sometimes he's caught himself wondering if Chris is looking for the female version of him.
Jensen knows he's a fool in love; he can't help himself because ...fuck, there's just something about Chris that makes you want to give him a second chance. It only starts to drain him after the second chance becomes a third and then a fourth until eventually Jensen's given up counting and he just knows it's enough.
Getting away from LA and spending time in Vancouver on the set of Supernatural with Jared and everybody else has opened Jensen's eyes, to places he wants to go and possibilities that are within his grasp. All he has to do is reach out and take them. Not that it's ever stopped him from remembering where he came from and who he came to this point with.
But on nights like this he sometimes wishes that he had.
He'd come back to an empty apartment but with traces of Chris everywhere, from where he'd left his shirt to the smell of his cologne on the sheets. Chris had sworn to Jensen that he'd be there when he got in from Vancouver but he's not and Jensen shouldn't be surprised but he is.
It's been a long couple of weeks and Jensen feels exhausted in every way imaginable and this isn't helping. Jensen drops his bags and calls Chris, not even in the slightest bit surprised that he gets his answering machine. He doesn't need to get in touch to know where Chris is, what he's doing and whose he's doing it with.
The question is - is he going to let this happen again?
Simple answer: No.
It's happened one too many times and Jared's right; Jensen deserves better than this. It's difficult to pinpoint what exactly gets into Jensen when he takes it upon himself to act out every cliché there is. He uses kitchen scissors to reduce clothing to shreds, rips out everything that had been his in Chris' apartment, but what he doesn't do is hurt Chris' guitar.
He'd never do that.
He might feel a lot of things but he's always respected Chris' music, always. It's the man's heart and soul, and Jensen would never reduce that to nothing. Jensen is a lot of things but petty isn't one of those things, no matter how many times Chris has broken his heart. Jared's right, Jensen can do better and will do better. He'll find somebody that loves him for him and doesn't treat him like he's filling space until something better comes along.
When he's finished with the apartment, Jensen walks out and takes his bags with him. Not to go home but to find Chris, to end this for once and for all. It's time he called this game done, for him and for Chris. It isn't healthy and Jensen isn't going to get what he needs from Chris and Chris will never get what he obviously needs from Jensen. If he could he wouldn't need or want anyone else.
Jensen finds him in a small club and, as expected, pressed up against some random woman whose name he won't remember tomorrow. It's when Chris catches sight of Jensen over the woman's shoulder as she leans in to kiss his neck that Chris has the decency to look ashamed. "I'm not here to fight," Jensen murmurs low and soft before just holding out the key Chris gave to him the first couple months into their relationship.
"Jen?" Chris looks from Jensen to the key, obviously confused.
Jensen gives a sad wistful smile. "Who're we trying to kid, Chris? This isn't working. We aren't working."
Chris looks at him, searches his face, probably looking for a sign that Jensen’s joking about this or forcing himself to say it. Jensen figures that Chris doesn’t see what he wants or needs to see when he reaches out and takes the keys from him.
"You know I love you," Jensen mutters with a shrug. "But I don't think that it's enough." He glances at the woman still on Chris' arm. "I'll see you around, Chris." He takes one last lingering look, trying to memorise the face he'd loved since ...forever before just turning and walking away. Turning his back on everything he's ever known and wanted, knowing it's better this way - for him and for Chris.
It's killing him, bit by bit, but it has to be done.
Jared's right about this and has been right about it for months, and Jared's been involved for years and he's practically engaged so if there's anyone Jensen is going to listen to about this sort of thing it's Jared. Everything he ever cared about is in that club, probably drowning himself in that woman's mouth and Jensen forces himself not to care, thicken his skin and focus on himself for the first time in weeks, months - years.
It's fucking scary but Jensen's taking a chance and hoping it works out and if it doesn't... well, he'll figure it out. One way or another.
Author: mands_angelfox
Pairing/Characters: Chris/Jensen
Genre: RPS, Romance, Angst
Word Count: 984
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Feedback? Is love. No. Seriously, it is.
Summary: It isn't working and Jensen knows that
Author's Note: My very wonderful beta-reader 11nine73 is to be thanked for removing any and all of my errors. Any that are left over are mine and mine alone. And this was originally inspired by Carrie Underwood's song 'Before He Cheats'
Disclaimer: Isn't real, I know that and you know that, we just wish that it was
Should Have Known Better
He'd always known that getting involved with Christian Kane wouldn't be easy. Not a walk in the park, that much was for damn certain. Stupidly he'd always thought that maybe he'd be the one that was different, the one to make a change in Christian Kane's life but as it turned out, old dogs couldn't learn new tricks.
The first couple of times, Chris had managed to sweet talk his way back into Jensen's good books. Not that it took much, never did when you loved somebody as much as Jensen loved Chris. It was always the same; some blonde bimbo with more breasts than brains and legs that seemed to go on for miles. Jensen's not sure what's worse. That he lets it happen or that every time it does it's with the same type of person.
Sometimes he's caught himself wondering if Chris is looking for the female version of him.
Jensen knows he's a fool in love; he can't help himself because ...fuck, there's just something about Chris that makes you want to give him a second chance. It only starts to drain him after the second chance becomes a third and then a fourth until eventually Jensen's given up counting and he just knows it's enough.
Getting away from LA and spending time in Vancouver on the set of Supernatural with Jared and everybody else has opened Jensen's eyes, to places he wants to go and possibilities that are within his grasp. All he has to do is reach out and take them. Not that it's ever stopped him from remembering where he came from and who he came to this point with.
But on nights like this he sometimes wishes that he had.
He'd come back to an empty apartment but with traces of Chris everywhere, from where he'd left his shirt to the smell of his cologne on the sheets. Chris had sworn to Jensen that he'd be there when he got in from Vancouver but he's not and Jensen shouldn't be surprised but he is.
It's been a long couple of weeks and Jensen feels exhausted in every way imaginable and this isn't helping. Jensen drops his bags and calls Chris, not even in the slightest bit surprised that he gets his answering machine. He doesn't need to get in touch to know where Chris is, what he's doing and whose he's doing it with.
The question is - is he going to let this happen again?
Simple answer: No.
It's happened one too many times and Jared's right; Jensen deserves better than this. It's difficult to pinpoint what exactly gets into Jensen when he takes it upon himself to act out every cliché there is. He uses kitchen scissors to reduce clothing to shreds, rips out everything that had been his in Chris' apartment, but what he doesn't do is hurt Chris' guitar.
He'd never do that.
He might feel a lot of things but he's always respected Chris' music, always. It's the man's heart and soul, and Jensen would never reduce that to nothing. Jensen is a lot of things but petty isn't one of those things, no matter how many times Chris has broken his heart. Jared's right, Jensen can do better and will do better. He'll find somebody that loves him for him and doesn't treat him like he's filling space until something better comes along.
When he's finished with the apartment, Jensen walks out and takes his bags with him. Not to go home but to find Chris, to end this for once and for all. It's time he called this game done, for him and for Chris. It isn't healthy and Jensen isn't going to get what he needs from Chris and Chris will never get what he obviously needs from Jensen. If he could he wouldn't need or want anyone else.
Jensen finds him in a small club and, as expected, pressed up against some random woman whose name he won't remember tomorrow. It's when Chris catches sight of Jensen over the woman's shoulder as she leans in to kiss his neck that Chris has the decency to look ashamed. "I'm not here to fight," Jensen murmurs low and soft before just holding out the key Chris gave to him the first couple months into their relationship.
"Jen?" Chris looks from Jensen to the key, obviously confused.
Jensen gives a sad wistful smile. "Who're we trying to kid, Chris? This isn't working. We aren't working."
Chris looks at him, searches his face, probably looking for a sign that Jensen’s joking about this or forcing himself to say it. Jensen figures that Chris doesn’t see what he wants or needs to see when he reaches out and takes the keys from him.
"You know I love you," Jensen mutters with a shrug. "But I don't think that it's enough." He glances at the woman still on Chris' arm. "I'll see you around, Chris." He takes one last lingering look, trying to memorise the face he'd loved since ...forever before just turning and walking away. Turning his back on everything he's ever known and wanted, knowing it's better this way - for him and for Chris.
It's killing him, bit by bit, but it has to be done.
Jared's right about this and has been right about it for months, and Jared's been involved for years and he's practically engaged so if there's anyone Jensen is going to listen to about this sort of thing it's Jared. Everything he ever cared about is in that club, probably drowning himself in that woman's mouth and Jensen forces himself not to care, thicken his skin and focus on himself for the first time in weeks, months - years.
It's fucking scary but Jensen's taking a chance and hoping it works out and if it doesn't... well, he'll figure it out. One way or another.