Enough a Cynic to Believe
I've been thinking a lot about faith lately. What it reall means to have it. It's not nearly as simple as I once thought. The beautiful thing about this place (though not necessarily particular to this place) is that I'm not alone in my musings. Today we had a philosophy department chapel and it was awesome.
The philosophy department didn't choose to start out with traditional worship in singing, but we dove straight into the problems of faith and doubt in our intellectual world. It's certainly unconventional in Christian circles - an entirely intellectual approach; I liked it. A lot of good things were said, things I've been thinking a lot about lately in fact. Interestingly, the first prof was reading out of Kuhn's The Nature of Scientific Revolutions which i read a bit of in high school, and which I've thought quite a bit about recently. It's amazing how well the presentations fit into my current thought processes.
The best thing that was said was that Faith doubt are not opposites. Rather, the strongest doubt comes from the strongest faith. Afterward, in my Christian Education class, Dr. Root talked about Kierkegaard's ideas about faith that I was just reading last night. As I was lifeguarding several things came together quite wonderfully in my mind. It occurred to me that rather than doubt being the opposite of faith, it must be complacency.
There's a lot to it, but I already explained it all to myself while i was lifeguarding, so I don't feel like doing it again.
Words are amazing; in so many ways, but what's really got me amazed tonight is how a single word, seemingly commonplace, seemingly understood, can literally overnight take on whole new worlds of meaning. I thought I knew what faith meant, I knew all the definitions, plenty of theology, even had plenty of experience. But today it's totally different. It's no longer something tame and concrete and defined: It's alive, it's not safe, it's frighteningly wonderful.
"Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible." ~Stanislaw Lem.
A couple days ago I wouldn't have even considered that statement; but today I think i might believe it. Faith isn't something I can hold in my hand, something I can point to and force and posess. It's far too big; far too important for me to be in control of it. The prerequisite to faith is an absolute relinquishment. I can't even get there till I've given up completely.
I fell asleep in every single class and chapel today. Lifeguarding too.
I really like meals. There are so many great people to sit and talk to around here. I love just sitting and eating and talking until I'm sick of talking, I hate being rushed.
I've got a boatload of homework this weekend, but I still want to perhaps have a bit of fun as well. Somehow I'll have to reconcile those.
The philosophy department didn't choose to start out with traditional worship in singing, but we dove straight into the problems of faith and doubt in our intellectual world. It's certainly unconventional in Christian circles - an entirely intellectual approach; I liked it. A lot of good things were said, things I've been thinking a lot about lately in fact. Interestingly, the first prof was reading out of Kuhn's The Nature of Scientific Revolutions which i read a bit of in high school, and which I've thought quite a bit about recently. It's amazing how well the presentations fit into my current thought processes.
The best thing that was said was that Faith doubt are not opposites. Rather, the strongest doubt comes from the strongest faith. Afterward, in my Christian Education class, Dr. Root talked about Kierkegaard's ideas about faith that I was just reading last night. As I was lifeguarding several things came together quite wonderfully in my mind. It occurred to me that rather than doubt being the opposite of faith, it must be complacency.
There's a lot to it, but I already explained it all to myself while i was lifeguarding, so I don't feel like doing it again.
Words are amazing; in so many ways, but what's really got me amazed tonight is how a single word, seemingly commonplace, seemingly understood, can literally overnight take on whole new worlds of meaning. I thought I knew what faith meant, I knew all the definitions, plenty of theology, even had plenty of experience. But today it's totally different. It's no longer something tame and concrete and defined: It's alive, it's not safe, it's frighteningly wonderful.
"Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible." ~Stanislaw Lem.
A couple days ago I wouldn't have even considered that statement; but today I think i might believe it. Faith isn't something I can hold in my hand, something I can point to and force and posess. It's far too big; far too important for me to be in control of it. The prerequisite to faith is an absolute relinquishment. I can't even get there till I've given up completely.
I fell asleep in every single class and chapel today. Lifeguarding too.
I really like meals. There are so many great people to sit and talk to around here. I love just sitting and eating and talking until I'm sick of talking, I hate being rushed.
I've got a boatload of homework this weekend, but I still want to perhaps have a bit of fun as well. Somehow I'll have to reconcile those.