The "wall": defined
I think I know what the wall is. "Everything" is already here for everyone. There is nothing held back. It's all here. It always has been, and to some degree or another, we've accepted or resisted portions of this "everything".
The wall in itself, is constructed of beliefs. The beliefs began as thoughts. Similar or repeated thoughts collectively have more energy in them than a lone single thought. The collection of this energy, the growth, the gathering of these thoughts, creates a "tendency". Tendencies then further collect and form and become emotions. Subtle emotions can also join together and become a more generalized and more powerful emotion.
All of this wall stuff, all of this energy, seems real. Real enough so that we don't question it. A wall of unquestioned beliefs. And since emotions are tied in, there's physical responses and confirmations also. It all seems so believable.
So when "everything" is happily flowing but we have viewpoints about this or that aspect, it's good, it's bad, -- we've now colored and categorized this once perfect flow and in fact have diverted it, distorted it, actually created some of it into what we want! Except it's not what we want. Because instead of masterfully expressing our desire creatively and with purpose, we've phoned it in using a thoughtless scripted autopilot response.
These thoughts, beliefs, tendencies, emotions, they are the autopilot stuff. It seems as if they are making these choices and decisions, and not us. And in fact, that's true.
But it's one thing to know this, and another to be able to deal with it. Once you start noticing the actions of these automatic thoughts and beliefs, theses tendencies in your life, all one can say is, "My God what a mess".
This autopilot nature causes everything to slip under the radar. Bringing it to the surface again must be done in each of these thoughts or beliefs--each must be handled and discharged into a more neutral form of energy. One that isn't pulling or pushing.
Thankfully, these autopilot beliefs and thoughts use a lot of themselves in their own growth. By this I mean many of these autopilot scripts are built of other autopilot parts. And this is good, because as one part is changed or removed, it affects all the other areas in which that part was a part. So the entire task of handling these beliefs, isn't quite as huge as it would first appear.
So that's where I'm at now, dismantling. There is no doubt in my mind that everything I could ever possibly want, is here right now. Available right now, for me. The reason I haven't accessed all the parts I want is because apparently there are certain aspects related to my "wanting" that I haven't cleared up. These distortions, and thought distractions, remove me from the direct flow which is the source that would provide these very things to me. Therefore, it is me who causes my own lack, not God, not the universe, not the guy next door. It's all me. And maddeningly, it's a "fake" lack, that truly becomes real...turning into or expressing as real lack.
It's hard to express, on one hand, there is no wall. On the other hand my wall, real or imagined, is a very effective barrier. In that respect, the fact that it works so well, that part is real or becomes real. But the wall only exists in thought and it's not quite as flimsy as a house of cards. The thoughts and beliefs are woven, and knitted together, giving it strength.
Piece by piece, thread by thread, as I become more aware, I look at these thoughts and beliefs, and neutralize them. I have a couple of techniques to do this but I don't want to write about them now.
Anyway, while I haven't yet conquered my wall, I have now actually "seen" it, identified its makeup, and realized it shadow nature. It's no longer "something" acting on me, I know what it is.
The wall in itself, is constructed of beliefs. The beliefs began as thoughts. Similar or repeated thoughts collectively have more energy in them than a lone single thought. The collection of this energy, the growth, the gathering of these thoughts, creates a "tendency". Tendencies then further collect and form and become emotions. Subtle emotions can also join together and become a more generalized and more powerful emotion.
All of this wall stuff, all of this energy, seems real. Real enough so that we don't question it. A wall of unquestioned beliefs. And since emotions are tied in, there's physical responses and confirmations also. It all seems so believable.
So when "everything" is happily flowing but we have viewpoints about this or that aspect, it's good, it's bad, -- we've now colored and categorized this once perfect flow and in fact have diverted it, distorted it, actually created some of it into what we want! Except it's not what we want. Because instead of masterfully expressing our desire creatively and with purpose, we've phoned it in using a thoughtless scripted autopilot response.
These thoughts, beliefs, tendencies, emotions, they are the autopilot stuff. It seems as if they are making these choices and decisions, and not us. And in fact, that's true.
But it's one thing to know this, and another to be able to deal with it. Once you start noticing the actions of these automatic thoughts and beliefs, theses tendencies in your life, all one can say is, "My God what a mess".
This autopilot nature causes everything to slip under the radar. Bringing it to the surface again must be done in each of these thoughts or beliefs--each must be handled and discharged into a more neutral form of energy. One that isn't pulling or pushing.
Thankfully, these autopilot beliefs and thoughts use a lot of themselves in their own growth. By this I mean many of these autopilot scripts are built of other autopilot parts. And this is good, because as one part is changed or removed, it affects all the other areas in which that part was a part. So the entire task of handling these beliefs, isn't quite as huge as it would first appear.
So that's where I'm at now, dismantling. There is no doubt in my mind that everything I could ever possibly want, is here right now. Available right now, for me. The reason I haven't accessed all the parts I want is because apparently there are certain aspects related to my "wanting" that I haven't cleared up. These distortions, and thought distractions, remove me from the direct flow which is the source that would provide these very things to me. Therefore, it is me who causes my own lack, not God, not the universe, not the guy next door. It's all me. And maddeningly, it's a "fake" lack, that truly becomes real...turning into or expressing as real lack.
It's hard to express, on one hand, there is no wall. On the other hand my wall, real or imagined, is a very effective barrier. In that respect, the fact that it works so well, that part is real or becomes real. But the wall only exists in thought and it's not quite as flimsy as a house of cards. The thoughts and beliefs are woven, and knitted together, giving it strength.
Piece by piece, thread by thread, as I become more aware, I look at these thoughts and beliefs, and neutralize them. I have a couple of techniques to do this but I don't want to write about them now.
Anyway, while I haven't yet conquered my wall, I have now actually "seen" it, identified its makeup, and realized it shadow nature. It's no longer "something" acting on me, I know what it is.