* sigh *
Warning: discusses doctor visit. No technical stuff, though, except for mention of birth control options. Nothing gross!
I had my annual ladybusiness checkup today - all looks well, they'll call me back with results of all testing when they get them. Glad all looks well! I had a few questions about various items, and got clinical reassurance. I do like my provider, quite a bit - she's friendly, efficient, and clear - she doesn't talk down to me or treat me like an idiot. She takes the time to answer questions that I have, and provides one of the least uncomfortable exams I've ever experienced. A solid A+.
But I did have the usual conversation with her. I asked about the two permanent birth control methods available - tubal ligation, and Essure. And I got the usual response - both are effective and safe; Essure is easier up front but there's no possibility of IVF later if you change your mind, as there is with tubal. But, "especially for women like you, who've never had a child, why deprive yourself of the option?" My IUD will last another five years, and then, "just another one" for another ten would be fine, and then, presumably, I'll be old enough not to have to worry anymore.
Why is it that no one can believe a childless woman wants to stay that way? I've asked about this for the past 19 years, ever since I had my first cycle. And it's always the same response. I keep hoping that once I get to 35*, I'll be taken more seriously. I understand that the IUD is safe and easy, and all I need is one (uncomfortable) insertion and one removal, and I have ten years of safety in between. But, the failure rate there is still higher than with the permanent methods. And what if I don't want to have to keep mental track of when I got it and when it needs to come out? What if I don't want to deal with the process of having another one put in? What if what I want is really just the peace of mind to know I can finally be safe from pregnancy?
I don't get the "if you've had a kid, you can make the call" thing, either, really. I mean, who's to say a mom of one decides not to have another - and then she changes her mind as the kid ages? Why does having a kid make your opinion less likely to change than not? I think it'd be more likely for a woman who's had one to want another, frankly, than one who hasn't - especially one who's spent her whole life saying she doesn't want to. It doesn't make any sense to me, when I think about it.
The IUD option isn't such a bad one. I just hate always asking and always getting turned down and I hate that my opinions are seen as invalid and fragile because I've stuck to them for my whole life, but a woman who chose one way and now has changed her mind is seen as more reliable.
And don't get me started on how guys pursuing permanent options are treated!
*Because once you're over this, pregnancy is deemed more dangerous, so I'm hoping it's a cutoff point where docs start to think maybe you're an adult who can make a call.