fuck
i want to kill you, not you but YOU. its just you. you have life. you have friends. you make me feel stupid. you make me feel pitiful. just you. you are alive. you are hate. you discriminate. you are what makes life. you bring hatred. you destroy people. you are evil. i hate you. just die.
is it envy or is it hate. is it all in my head or is it just fate?
fuck you. damn and curse you. who the fuck am i talking about? why am i so damn angry all the bloody time???? why cant i just be content for once? just sit there and rot my corpse away? there must be a resonable explaination for this vicious writting. unstable unbearable desolate immulate dismay desire disgrace unimaginable
how do i go from all content and then just plain furious at nothing? what is going on in my head? cant control it. it consumes me. it kills me. rot away.
after i think about it, ive just been plain pissed off my entire life. i look at my actual journal that i have and all i write about is how much i want to destroy myself but........ is there a reason for that too?
damn i think im anylzing shit again. i need some peace and quiet from my brain. shut the fuck up will you? i do remember that i believed i could blow out my brains just so i could be quiet.......
is that why people cut themselves? so they can focus on nothing but pain? or so they can feel as though they arent dead? dead on the inside? so they can feel like people just dont care?
who the hell questions themselves like this? it doesnt help me what so ever. i just keeep typing. how do all my friends just live life? how can they just ignore what drives them for life? they just go on in life. i cant stop, BE QUIET!!!!!!!! get out of my head! FUCK YOU!!! you need to die. maybe i should just go to sleep, maybe then i can be queit but my fingers keep typing my thoughts out as though im publishing my brain and the pschology of me. thats a load of bullshit. thats fucking immpossible. what the fuck is going on????? was i always like this? am i always this lost but then i just ignore it? is that what i have to do....... ignore it? hide? run away escape free........ trappted in me literally. ill feel better once im done tho, i always do. no wonder i write in my journal. i wish i could just say it but then i remind people of what to ignore, the urge. what drives them. if i bring something up that society tries to ignore, then they just cast me into the dark, nothing.
wow, this sounds like everything i write. first i get really pissed off, then i analyze it, then i accept it. i live everything over again. this is my life. a repeat of everymistake ive done. maybe i need to get rid of this cycle. escape...........
is it envy or is it hate. is it all in my head or is it just fate?
fuck you. damn and curse you. who the fuck am i talking about? why am i so damn angry all the bloody time???? why cant i just be content for once? just sit there and rot my corpse away? there must be a resonable explaination for this vicious writting. unstable unbearable desolate immulate dismay desire disgrace unimaginable
how do i go from all content and then just plain furious at nothing? what is going on in my head? cant control it. it consumes me. it kills me. rot away.
after i think about it, ive just been plain pissed off my entire life. i look at my actual journal that i have and all i write about is how much i want to destroy myself but........ is there a reason for that too?
damn i think im anylzing shit again. i need some peace and quiet from my brain. shut the fuck up will you? i do remember that i believed i could blow out my brains just so i could be quiet.......
is that why people cut themselves? so they can focus on nothing but pain? or so they can feel as though they arent dead? dead on the inside? so they can feel like people just dont care?
who the hell questions themselves like this? it doesnt help me what so ever. i just keeep typing. how do all my friends just live life? how can they just ignore what drives them for life? they just go on in life. i cant stop, BE QUIET!!!!!!!! get out of my head! FUCK YOU!!! you need to die. maybe i should just go to sleep, maybe then i can be queit but my fingers keep typing my thoughts out as though im publishing my brain and the pschology of me. thats a load of bullshit. thats fucking immpossible. what the fuck is going on????? was i always like this? am i always this lost but then i just ignore it? is that what i have to do....... ignore it? hide? run away escape free........ trappted in me literally. ill feel better once im done tho, i always do. no wonder i write in my journal. i wish i could just say it but then i remind people of what to ignore, the urge. what drives them. if i bring something up that society tries to ignore, then they just cast me into the dark, nothing.
wow, this sounds like everything i write. first i get really pissed off, then i analyze it, then i accept it. i live everything over again. this is my life. a repeat of everymistake ive done. maybe i need to get rid of this cycle. escape...........