Why bother :/
why does it seem that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I never seem to be able to do anything right? I feel as if I always try my best to build my trust in Darius, but the minute something he does bothers me, all hell breaks loose. I know I am venting, but damn. I wish for once, just once he put himself in my shoes instead of blowing up at me and really took a look at why I feel the way I feel.
I don't understand a lot of things about myself right now but damn...does he have to just blow off everything when I try to talk to him about what bothers me or what I am trying to say. I hate it when he does that because it makes me feel like he doesn't care. I mean if he's mad, ok, I can give him his space for a bit and talk about it later, but for crying out loud when I try to talk about what bothers me can't he listen! Just listen so I can say what is bothering me and then I will in turn listen to him. Darius always complains about me not listening, but it does go both ways.
Yes I do have a lot of things with myself that I do need to work on that Yes do irritate Darius, but he also has things he needs to work on himself. I do hate when he constantly points out my faults. I don't do that to him and it makes me feel bad because I do realize what my flaws are.
I also have a lot of things that are frustrating to me right now, with family drama and the like. I wish I could sit and talk about them all with Darius, but he doesn't always want to listen, because he knows what all the drama is already since we live together here and wants to stay out of it. I can fault him for that. I get tired of it too.
On the bright side though, hopefully Wednesday I will be going to see about getting classes started to get my STNA license back. That should be a good thing since both Darius and I need to get jobs so we can get our family on its feet again. That will be a very good thing if I can get my license back. That will help both Darius and I take a big step forward toward our goal. I hope if we can get back on our feet again we can rent a house. I want Mally to have a yard to play in, apartments around here just don't have that. Plus a lot of them are strict about what kids can do. I don't want to do that again. I hope all goes well this week too so we can take Mally to the zoo for the first time on Thursday. That will be a lot of fun.
I don't understand a lot of things about myself right now but damn...does he have to just blow off everything when I try to talk to him about what bothers me or what I am trying to say. I hate it when he does that because it makes me feel like he doesn't care. I mean if he's mad, ok, I can give him his space for a bit and talk about it later, but for crying out loud when I try to talk about what bothers me can't he listen! Just listen so I can say what is bothering me and then I will in turn listen to him. Darius always complains about me not listening, but it does go both ways.
Yes I do have a lot of things with myself that I do need to work on that Yes do irritate Darius, but he also has things he needs to work on himself. I do hate when he constantly points out my faults. I don't do that to him and it makes me feel bad because I do realize what my flaws are.
I also have a lot of things that are frustrating to me right now, with family drama and the like. I wish I could sit and talk about them all with Darius, but he doesn't always want to listen, because he knows what all the drama is already since we live together here and wants to stay out of it. I can fault him for that. I get tired of it too.
On the bright side though, hopefully Wednesday I will be going to see about getting classes started to get my STNA license back. That should be a good thing since both Darius and I need to get jobs so we can get our family on its feet again. That will be a very good thing if I can get my license back. That will help both Darius and I take a big step forward toward our goal. I hope if we can get back on our feet again we can rent a house. I want Mally to have a yard to play in, apartments around here just don't have that. Plus a lot of them are strict about what kids can do. I don't want to do that again. I hope all goes well this week too so we can take Mally to the zoo for the first time on Thursday. That will be a lot of fun.