Dear Friend????
(This is not to any of my friends who read my journal it is to someone who would only read this if I showed it to them)
Dear Friend,
I am really hurt by the fact that I consider you one of my really good friends and I tell you some things that other people really don't know about me, yet you treat my like I'm nothing to you sometimes. I don't know what your take on friendship is but it is really confusing that you treat me differently than other people. I call you and come see you all the time because I really do like hanging out with you and I invite you to come hang out with me on New Years Eve and you say you have to think about it and I guess it's whatever but still that makes me feel kinda like shit. You make me feel like I'm nothing sometimes and I try so hard not to let it affect me but I have feelings and it sucks. I understand if you feel weird around me becuz of the circumstances but still I don't treat you any different actually I treat you higher than most people becuz you mean alot to me. I feel as if you used me in your time of need and now that you aren't hurting anymore you don't really need me all that much anymore. Just tell me, what do I mean to you?...how come I'm not important to you? I don't want to make it seem like I want all your attention or something but when there is lack there of then it becomes a problem. Should I not care as much as I do, am I being stupid? You are such a mystery to me because it is hard to get feelings out of you. You say don't wait around for you and I'm not but it's like I try to meet other people and I don't connect the same way I do with you. I am not trying to convince you or pressure you into anything because I would hate if that were put upon me, but can't you make me feel a little special? I am defintly not going to be second best because I think of myself higher than that so it's cool you don't have to want to hang out with me but don't expect me to always be the same when I am getting no response back. I would understand if you had made plans earlier but you didn't really make it seem like you had any set plans and I am sure those other people don't go over to see you all the time and want to hang out with you as much as I do. It's not like I am bagging on you and only you but I am just sick of being pushed aside as if I were nothing. I try so hard to please other people and make them feel comfortable but does anyone do the same for me? Maybe this all just doesn't make sense to you but you know how I am so self concious and I always worry about what other people are thinking about me and you tell me I should just stop, but how can I when I feel like your always thinking something different about me? Well I may or may not read this to you we'll see how tomrrow turns out this is just something that I had to write because it's what I am feeling right now.
sincerely,
chelsea
Dear Friend,
I am really hurt by the fact that I consider you one of my really good friends and I tell you some things that other people really don't know about me, yet you treat my like I'm nothing to you sometimes. I don't know what your take on friendship is but it is really confusing that you treat me differently than other people. I call you and come see you all the time because I really do like hanging out with you and I invite you to come hang out with me on New Years Eve and you say you have to think about it and I guess it's whatever but still that makes me feel kinda like shit. You make me feel like I'm nothing sometimes and I try so hard not to let it affect me but I have feelings and it sucks. I understand if you feel weird around me becuz of the circumstances but still I don't treat you any different actually I treat you higher than most people becuz you mean alot to me. I feel as if you used me in your time of need and now that you aren't hurting anymore you don't really need me all that much anymore. Just tell me, what do I mean to you?...how come I'm not important to you? I don't want to make it seem like I want all your attention or something but when there is lack there of then it becomes a problem. Should I not care as much as I do, am I being stupid? You are such a mystery to me because it is hard to get feelings out of you. You say don't wait around for you and I'm not but it's like I try to meet other people and I don't connect the same way I do with you. I am not trying to convince you or pressure you into anything because I would hate if that were put upon me, but can't you make me feel a little special? I am defintly not going to be second best because I think of myself higher than that so it's cool you don't have to want to hang out with me but don't expect me to always be the same when I am getting no response back. I would understand if you had made plans earlier but you didn't really make it seem like you had any set plans and I am sure those other people don't go over to see you all the time and want to hang out with you as much as I do. It's not like I am bagging on you and only you but I am just sick of being pushed aside as if I were nothing. I try so hard to please other people and make them feel comfortable but does anyone do the same for me? Maybe this all just doesn't make sense to you but you know how I am so self concious and I always worry about what other people are thinking about me and you tell me I should just stop, but how can I when I feel like your always thinking something different about me? Well I may or may not read this to you we'll see how tomrrow turns out this is just something that I had to write because it's what I am feeling right now.
sincerely,
chelsea