(no subject)
so today started out like every other day, my mom, adam and I all played monopoly early this morning. we went to go see my grandma, to get attorney papers signed. we tried for like 20 minutes to wake her up, and her nurse came in and told us that everything was checked out, but she had therapy this morning so it was probably that and the pain pill that made her so sleepy. so we came home.
I messed around in my room and online for a while, just to pass the time until dans mom came home so that I could hang out.I drew, I listened to music, I was being a kid.
so when I went over to dans house, it was amazing because I hadn't seen him in two days or talked to him, so I was happy. we played monopoly and ate meatloaf. then before I left, my mom called and told me that they needed her right away at the nursing home. I figured that maybe there was a paper they needed signed, because she didn't sound like it was urgent at all.
so when my mom came to pick me up, I was joking around with all my friends, like usual, and then I saw my mom. I dont' know if you've ever seen your mother cry when it's serious, but it's the most heartbreaking thing i've ever seen in my entire life.
I gave dan a hug and said my goodbyes as soon as I saw my mom, then asked her what was wrong.
my grandma died before they ever got out to the nursing home.
I just can't help but think that if we had tried a little harder to wake her up earlier today, she wouldn't have gone in this way. it wouldn't have been the same, she would've been ok.
I just can't comprehend how she was just fine yesterday, she was coherent and talking to us, and she said that she'd see us tomorrow, which would've been today.
I could understand last time, when my grandma was so far gone that nothing else could happen besides dying.
it's the tiny things that i'm looking back and seeing, how she would always come to the grandparents day at school, how she tried so hard to get us to straighten up and be better people. she was always at everyone of my birthday parties.
when we left yesterday we told her that we would be back, and that we would bring her more clothes. she said ok and she said goodbye. if I would've known that she would be gone just 5 or 6 hours after we left, I would've said something better than "wake up grandma". I even left her a note, telling her that we had all been out to see her, and that we left her a diet pepsi since we knew she didn't get it at the nursing home, and that we would be out to see her when she was more awake.
I can't believe it
I can't understand
I wish I could've said goodbye.
I messed around in my room and online for a while, just to pass the time until dans mom came home so that I could hang out.I drew, I listened to music, I was being a kid.
so when I went over to dans house, it was amazing because I hadn't seen him in two days or talked to him, so I was happy. we played monopoly and ate meatloaf. then before I left, my mom called and told me that they needed her right away at the nursing home. I figured that maybe there was a paper they needed signed, because she didn't sound like it was urgent at all.
so when my mom came to pick me up, I was joking around with all my friends, like usual, and then I saw my mom. I dont' know if you've ever seen your mother cry when it's serious, but it's the most heartbreaking thing i've ever seen in my entire life.
I gave dan a hug and said my goodbyes as soon as I saw my mom, then asked her what was wrong.
my grandma died before they ever got out to the nursing home.
I just can't help but think that if we had tried a little harder to wake her up earlier today, she wouldn't have gone in this way. it wouldn't have been the same, she would've been ok.
I just can't comprehend how she was just fine yesterday, she was coherent and talking to us, and she said that she'd see us tomorrow, which would've been today.
I could understand last time, when my grandma was so far gone that nothing else could happen besides dying.
it's the tiny things that i'm looking back and seeing, how she would always come to the grandparents day at school, how she tried so hard to get us to straighten up and be better people. she was always at everyone of my birthday parties.
when we left yesterday we told her that we would be back, and that we would bring her more clothes. she said ok and she said goodbye. if I would've known that she would be gone just 5 or 6 hours after we left, I would've said something better than "wake up grandma". I even left her a note, telling her that we had all been out to see her, and that we left her a diet pepsi since we knew she didn't get it at the nursing home, and that we would be out to see her when she was more awake.
I can't believe it
I can't understand
I wish I could've said goodbye.