So Far So Good....

[franktheet]

Well, my earth host family will be renting some DVD movies to watch later tonight from Blockbuster Video. I'm not allowed to go because they're afraid that someone might see me or some other shit. I think they don't wanna take me anywhere because of what I did the last time. You see, Mrs. Nelson had to go K-Mart to buy some things one day, and I begged her to take me along so that I could learn more about these big earth stores and how they operated. She didn't agree at first, but my persistant begging paid off!! She stuffed me in her handbag and took me along. While we were there, I managed to hop out of her handbag without her noticing. I crept carefully along the aisles to check the place out. Anytime a earthling saw me, I'd just lay there motionless on the floor and fooled them into thinking that I was just some toy that fell off one of the shelves. Anyway, I went to the area of K-Mart that sells BBQ cookout stuff. I remember Mr. Nelson having a cookout one day and he let me help start the fire to cook the burgers and hotdogs. I wanted to see if I still retained my bbq fire-starting skills, so I grabbed one of the lighter fluid cans off the shelf and some of those "strike anywhere" matches nearby. I poured the whole can of fluid on some boxes in the corner and tossed a match on it like Mr. Nelson had taught me. Boy oh boy!!! Did that fuckin' thing light up like a Christmas tree on Christmas day!!! The flames reached all the way up to the store's ceilings too!! I heard a lot of earthling customers screaming, sirens blaring loudly and lights flashing all over the freakin' place..., so I guess they were all cheering at seeing my awesome fire-making abilities. I felt pretty damn proud that day! A lot of them were running out of the store too, so I kinda guessed that they were inspired by my fire and they all wanted to rush home to make their own BBQ fires? I found Mrs. Nelson a bit later and told her about what I did and of how proud I was to inspire a lot of humans, but she yelled and screamed some nasty earth words at me and took me home. Since that time, I was never allowed to go anywhere with them. I don't get it???? How come I'm punished for doing a good thing?? I still have soooo much to learn of your earth cultures, that's for sure!

What a freakin' long story that was, huh? Anyways, The Nelson's just left to pick up some movies. I hope they rent that movie "Gladiator". It's supposed to be some kind of fighting epic that won a lot of your earth movie awards. I can't wait to see how that Darth Vader guy does against Russell Crowe. I'll bet Darth Vader could royally kick his ass!! But if Russel Crowe had the kind of abilities that Keanu Reeves had in "The Matrix", then Darth Vader might be in for some mean shit!! Man, I can't wait to see this "Gladiator" movie now!! It's gonna freakin' rock!!!

I gotta go for now. I still need to wash the dishes. Shit!! I really hate doing these stupid earthly house chores! I also need to go and let Bozo out so he can go potty. The last time I forgot to let him out after dinner and he went and took a shit in little Jimmy's room. Stupid dog!!