Tales of Interest
To balance some of my recent rantings, I will now relate some more discussions from work.
Yes, it also involves poop.
At work yesterday, I invented a new scale of measurement. It is the 'Poop to Batman' scale. Poop at the low end, Batman at the high end. We actually have this scale up on the whiteboard now. So far it only has two entries on it (besides the ends of course); one is a minion, the other is Pauly Shore (he is right next to Poop).
It is a very useful scale.
How did this come about, you ask? Well, yesterday one of my minions (the one who is on the scale) was wearing a Batman shirt. This particular minion is 19, and we older folks give him much shit for his youth and ignorance (I have actually given him homework to look up things like the Otherkin Elven Holocaust and slashfic...he did actually look them up, but now he refuses to look up anything else I tell him to), and has an uncanny ability to fuck up the simplest things. For instance, he has twice fucked up the simple task of retrieving something from the main office (in little ways, granted). The bright spot is he learns; he never fucks up the same thing twice.
So you may understand when I decided to inform him that he was not worthy of wearing a Batman shirt, as he is not in any way Batman.
Enter another of my minions, who yesterday was wearing a shirt that said 'poop' on it. I informed the first minion he should really be wearing the poop shirt, as on the poop-to-Batman scale he was much closer to poop than Batman.
Said scale was immediately adopted by the rest of the room, including my boss (he suggested Pauly Shore go on the scale next to poop, as he's met the Weasel and says he's the closest he's ever been to a walking pile of poop).
So if you're ever wondering how to classify something, think about where it would fall on the poop to Batman scale, and all should be come clear.
PS: we did determine that surprise poop would actually be negative on the scale, IE lower than 'poop.' You know you were wondering.
Yes, it also involves poop.
At work yesterday, I invented a new scale of measurement. It is the 'Poop to Batman' scale. Poop at the low end, Batman at the high end. We actually have this scale up on the whiteboard now. So far it only has two entries on it (besides the ends of course); one is a minion, the other is Pauly Shore (he is right next to Poop).
It is a very useful scale.
How did this come about, you ask? Well, yesterday one of my minions (the one who is on the scale) was wearing a Batman shirt. This particular minion is 19, and we older folks give him much shit for his youth and ignorance (I have actually given him homework to look up things like the Otherkin Elven Holocaust and slashfic...he did actually look them up, but now he refuses to look up anything else I tell him to), and has an uncanny ability to fuck up the simplest things. For instance, he has twice fucked up the simple task of retrieving something from the main office (in little ways, granted). The bright spot is he learns; he never fucks up the same thing twice.
So you may understand when I decided to inform him that he was not worthy of wearing a Batman shirt, as he is not in any way Batman.
Enter another of my minions, who yesterday was wearing a shirt that said 'poop' on it. I informed the first minion he should really be wearing the poop shirt, as on the poop-to-Batman scale he was much closer to poop than Batman.
Said scale was immediately adopted by the rest of the room, including my boss (he suggested Pauly Shore go on the scale next to poop, as he's met the Weasel and says he's the closest he's ever been to a walking pile of poop).
So if you're ever wondering how to classify something, think about where it would fall on the poop to Batman scale, and all should be come clear.
PS: we did determine that surprise poop would actually be negative on the scale, IE lower than 'poop.' You know you were wondering.