(no subject)
okay so, I haven't really updated in quite awhile. but I've been so busy and I've just had a lot on my mind. so much that i think my hands would get tired from typing so much. I've been in basketball for almost a month and my first game is a week from yesterday. I doubt I'll even fucking start. this is so pathetic. BLAH.
anyways, yeah.
i dont even know where to start or what to start with. i've been thinking about so much at so many points of view lately, I'm just about ready to explode. I've been trying to figure out who my real friends are, and when I do finally think that I know, something happens and it all bites me in the ass. I just wish that everything would be like it was in 6th grade. This year seems almost like it still is this year. Like nothing has changed, besides everyone. I feel like I'm the same old me. Same Cassidy who always is making jokes and messing around. But in a way, I've matured because people have changed so much around me. The guys are 100% different than they were last year, and I've come to appreciate them more. The girls, well, they'll always be 'the girls'. We have our awesome times, but then it's stupid days where I just want to blow up and start beating the shit out of someone or something. I hate people who lie, and I hate people who talk about people. It's just like FUCKING GROW UP. && I'm not even talking about anyone or anything in particular, just a lot of it gets old. I wish something good would happen and drastically change the way things are. I know I'm not going to be able to please everyone 100% of the time, and people aren't going to be able to please me, but it's just like...COME ON. Jesus. Today was a fucking 1/2 day and 1/2 days are party days where we go to someone's house, or go out to lunch. But what did I do? I came home. I walked home. By myself. I mean, I can tell when I'm not fucking wanted. So whatever I guess...I make jokes out of things and people take them seriously and accuse me of stupid shit. B l a h. . . . . . It seems like nothing has been going right lately, but in a way, things have been the same. I guess things have just been the same for too long and I want a change. I think I'm re-doing my room this weekend so maybe that will help me 'refresh' my old ways. My room has been blue for as long as I can remember :-|.
I guess things get more dramatic once you get older, but things have just been the same old same. This year is so different due to the fact that I didn't go on a huge school shopping trip with my mom and her friend like always, and I didn't get up *extra early* on the first day of school to get ready. even though this year I care a little more about getting my homework done, I couldn't give a shit what people think about me. Yeah, i don't like it when people make fun of me, and say stupid shit behind my back, but otherwise...i dont care.
I hate how I complain, and there are people in this hurricane bit with so much more problems they have to deal with than I do, but my life isn't perfect either.
My room is trashed and i want to clean it if I'm really going to re-do it this weekend. It's Wednesday, and I had a 1/2 day so it's about 3:30 and I have 3 more hours until I might have basketball practice. I hope I don't have it. I really hope I don't. I just want to go to sleep so I don't have to deal with Coach, or any other fucking drama. I want to be like, locked in my room forever with my ipod. Yeah, that's it. What would be even better, is if my ipod worked. Like, if I got a new one, which my birthday is in 2 days,(friday). that would completely rock.
I'm going to try and clean my room
<3
me