I HAVE A SECRET. A BIG SECRET. ONCE WHICH ONLY A FEW PEOPLE, NONE OF WHICH ARE MY CLOSEST MATES, KNOW AND ONE WHICH I HAVE CARRIED AROUND FOR SEVERAL YEARS. I CANNOT KEEP IT IN ANY LONGER, THE WORLD MUST KNOW THE TRUTH!

...... except I'm too embarrassed to say it, so if anyone wants to know they'll have to force it out of me.