(no subject)
Dear Customer,
Yes, I know it's busy today. I know the line is out the door. I know the pastry case is half empty. I know it's loud as hell. I'm sorry that school starts late today, you think I like the gut wrenching, ear piercing whirl of the blender anymore than I do? I wish we could outlaw kids 17 and under too. I know you just want a coffee, but you'll have to wait in line with the rest of them. I'm sorry everyone and their mother and their grandpa's dog had to come to our store today, including you. Yes, it is only 9am, the pasteries are gone because you didn't wake up early enough like the other hogs. I KNOW there is no more half-n-half, you don't need to shake the empty pitcher in my face when I'm on bar and have 40+ drinks there, I'll hand you a new one when I can. Also, I know you know wtf you want, but how am I supposed to know that? Am I a damn mind reader. Oh yes, I know that when you say "Mocha" I'm supposed to automatically know you *meant* to say "Venti 3 pump non-fat WHITE mocha." I know Barista A knows your drink, but don't talk to me like I'm an imbucile because I don't know it. Also, I wish you'd choke on your "Reduced fat coffee cake. I can have like 3, and it's cool because there are way less calories." Yes, tell every single one of your skinny friends that. Also, if you cared so much about calories, why in the hell did you just order an Iced Venti, extra vanilla, breve, extra caramel Caramel Macchiato?! And please, do NOT reach into my bar and take your straws or sleeves. See this counter? This is my side, not yours. I should be able to slap your hands with my big metal spoon! Ever heard of ASKING for things? And for fucks sake, NO, I will not put extra extra caramel on your caramel frappuccino, you dumb ho bag. You can go over to the merch. wall and buy a bottle if you want it so bad.
Yes, I know it's busy today. I know the line is out the door. I know the pastry case is half empty. I know it's loud as hell. I'm sorry that school starts late today, you think I like the gut wrenching, ear piercing whirl of the blender anymore than I do? I wish we could outlaw kids 17 and under too. I know you just want a coffee, but you'll have to wait in line with the rest of them. I'm sorry everyone and their mother and their grandpa's dog had to come to our store today, including you. Yes, it is only 9am, the pasteries are gone because you didn't wake up early enough like the other hogs. I KNOW there is no more half-n-half, you don't need to shake the empty pitcher in my face when I'm on bar and have 40+ drinks there, I'll hand you a new one when I can. Also, I know you know wtf you want, but how am I supposed to know that? Am I a damn mind reader. Oh yes, I know that when you say "Mocha" I'm supposed to automatically know you *meant* to say "Venti 3 pump non-fat WHITE mocha." I know Barista A knows your drink, but don't talk to me like I'm an imbucile because I don't know it. Also, I wish you'd choke on your "Reduced fat coffee cake. I can have like 3, and it's cool because there are way less calories." Yes, tell every single one of your skinny friends that. Also, if you cared so much about calories, why in the hell did you just order an Iced Venti, extra vanilla, breve, extra caramel Caramel Macchiato?! And please, do NOT reach into my bar and take your straws or sleeves. See this counter? This is my side, not yours. I should be able to slap your hands with my big metal spoon! Ever heard of ASKING for things? And for fucks sake, NO, I will not put extra extra caramel on your caramel frappuccino, you dumb ho bag. You can go over to the merch. wall and buy a bottle if you want it so bad.