What the shit?
Okay, a few things before I start this: Eugenio has been considered somewhat dangerous for his DUI thing, so they had him detained for a while. When they decided he wasn't so dangerous, they let him out and told him not to leave town. So tonight, he comes outside of town, and comes right to my hotel room. With a fucking baseball bat.
Now I'm not one to fuck around. You come at me where I'm staying, I'll take you out THEN call 911. So I go outside with a monkey wrench. Remember, I have everything from my RV with me, and sometimes I need a monkey wrench. So I go out there, ready for some shit. He swings the bat and I try to block his swing. Well, for a European pussy, he can swing a bat pretty hard. The bat knocks the wrench right into my head. I fell down for a second, and I was like "Fuck this shit." I threw the wrench at his face, and the handle got him in the mouth. There went some teeth. And the bat fell down. I saw my chance and grabbed it, and I looked up, and that bastard had my wrench. Fucker was bleeding everywhere from his toothless gap. He swung the wrench down at me, and I batted it sideways with...the bat.
Physics lesson, people. When an object goes one way, something acting on it from a side will push it into a harmless course. Don't believe me? Have some friends play tug of war, and tie another, smaller rope at the center. Have them start, then you pull the side rope. All the force being applied at each end leaves the sides open to motion. You'll pull both your friends off course.
Anyway, back on the subject, he flailed a little when he saw I had blocked this one right. And during his flail, he lost another group of teeth. Now I was really pissed. I decided that this fuck wasn't going to back off, so I started wailing on him with the bat and the wrench at once. Finally, I kicked him down the balcony stairs and went in to call the police. They came about half an hour later and took Eugenio in. Great, now I have no clue if I'll ever get my settlement, or that fuckin' house. And I don't know if I have a concussion or not either.
But maybe I'll get some sympathy from Laura...
Now I'm not one to fuck around. You come at me where I'm staying, I'll take you out THEN call 911. So I go outside with a monkey wrench. Remember, I have everything from my RV with me, and sometimes I need a monkey wrench. So I go out there, ready for some shit. He swings the bat and I try to block his swing. Well, for a European pussy, he can swing a bat pretty hard. The bat knocks the wrench right into my head. I fell down for a second, and I was like "Fuck this shit." I threw the wrench at his face, and the handle got him in the mouth. There went some teeth. And the bat fell down. I saw my chance and grabbed it, and I looked up, and that bastard had my wrench. Fucker was bleeding everywhere from his toothless gap. He swung the wrench down at me, and I batted it sideways with...the bat.
Physics lesson, people. When an object goes one way, something acting on it from a side will push it into a harmless course. Don't believe me? Have some friends play tug of war, and tie another, smaller rope at the center. Have them start, then you pull the side rope. All the force being applied at each end leaves the sides open to motion. You'll pull both your friends off course.
Anyway, back on the subject, he flailed a little when he saw I had blocked this one right. And during his flail, he lost another group of teeth. Now I was really pissed. I decided that this fuck wasn't going to back off, so I started wailing on him with the bat and the wrench at once. Finally, I kicked him down the balcony stairs and went in to call the police. They came about half an hour later and took Eugenio in. Great, now I have no clue if I'll ever get my settlement, or that fuckin' house. And I don't know if I have a concussion or not either.
But maybe I'll get some sympathy from Laura...