Depressed Spuffy fan here...
.. can someone explain to me why, after all these years, I keep reading fandom opinions on Spuffy, googling old and new discussions, while knowing perfectly fine that all I ever get from that is pain and depression and hopelessness, since 90% of the posts I find out there are negative, and tend to put down, denigrate and demeane the whole Spuffy
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A lot of people are absolutists, but I find more joy in nuance, which makes BtVS the perfect fandom for me. No characters or relationships on the show are simple, everybody has conflicting motivations, the heroes sometimes have evil intentions, the bad guys sometimes have decent impulses. So when I hear somebody say, "Unsouled Spike never did anything unselfish," it's pretty easy to come up with a counter-argument (in my head, why feed the trolls?): What about withstanding Glory's torture and sticking around to protect Dawn once Buffy was dead?
There are other characters that I'm not as invested in, but generally like, and if somebody tries to make them ALL good or ALL bad, I can easily come up with canon support for the opposite view. But the relationships are SO complex (usually) that I don't even know where to begin in a comment.
Yay, glad you understand my bitter ranting.
I agree with everything you wrote here... that's why I don't hate or even dislike any character or relationship on Btvs (not even Kennedy or Willow/Kennedy), because while I am eternally invested in and passionate about Spike and Spuffy, I can find interesting and good/bad things in all the other aspects of the show.
When I watch the show, I pretty much love everything in its complexity... it's the fandom that turns me sour against some characters and storylines. When I read fandom opinions (and I have read and debated my fair share in these 10 years) I become so bitterly anti-bangel and anti-angel that it hurts. It wouldn't happen if people weren't so obnoxious and disrespectful about my ship. Sigh. Fandom is TEH EVIL
A Spuffy fan once asked why people refused to believe that Buffy loved Spike when she told him so, point blank. For me, it's an interesting question, because I believe that Buffy was telling the honest truth there, but I also believe she was an unreliable narrator at earlier points in the series when she denied loving him. For people who don't believe it, she was telling the truth before this, but was was unreliable in Chosen. Does anybody believe that when Buffy speaks, it is always the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - every time? If not, then we have to accept that people will choose when to believe her, and their choice may not be our choice.
I think that people just don't get the pairing, and consequently they only see the surface level and don't like it (because, let's face it, it's a troubled and problematic ship). Therefore, since they dislike it they automatically transfer their bias to Buffy, so Buffy can't love Spike, and she just lied to him out of pity as he was dying, because she wanted to reward him and make him die happy.
They don't realize the implicit condescension in this, and what a poor ending to a long story arc that makes.
I'm sorry you are getting down about this. It's totally understandable, but the power of Spuffy will prevail! (At least in fic.)
The problem is that I don't care for fanfiction. I will read the occasional fic, but in no way it makes up for canon for me. So I can't really find solace in that! :(
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