Depressed Spuffy fan here...

[francy_m79]

.. can someone explain to me why, after all these years, I keep reading fandom opinions on Spuffy, googling old and new discussions, while knowing perfectly fine that all I ever get from that is pain and depression and hopelessness, since 90% of the posts I find out there are negative, and tend to put down, denigrate and demeane the whole Spuffy

Comments

[galathea_snb]

Aww, poor you. *hugs* I have stuff in the SN fandom that gets to me every time as well, hence my avoiding fandom at large and only conversing with like-minded people, which is much, much better for my health. How did I learn to do that? Well, unlike you, I just came to the point where I thought the benefits of randomly looking around the net for opinions are by far outweighed by the disadvantages. I am not really tempted to wander around the internet anymore, because I know what I'll find. I have enough places where I can go that are perfectly suited to my needs and I know enough people with whom I can discuss the joys of Sam and Dean to my heart's content.

Of course, I have it a little easier than you, since Sam and Dean's relationship can hardly be refuted - even though some people try, of course - and the writers are at least committed to it (so far), which wasn't really the case with Spike and Buffy. Just like it wasn't with Angel and Cordelia. Whedon & Co never really dared to draw a final line under Buffy/Angel, regardless of the relationships both of them formed with other people and that was a huge disservice to the characters, as well as the story.

[francy_m79]

It's an ugly world out there!! *hug*

Unfortunately, there aren't many Spuffy-related places I can go to... being Btvs an old show, most communities and sites died long ago, and lj is not that active anymore.

Also, I tend to want to see the wider perspective on things, as reading only praise on something can be very reductive. Most of the times it backfires, though.

Sigh.

[galathea_snb]

I tend to want to see the wider perspective on things
Oh, I want that, too. Luckily the SN fandom is very active and even in places that are solely focussed on Sam and Dean, the opinions are varied and detailed and put into a wider context. I am hardly a fan who praises everything that happens in the show and most people I know aren't either. Conversing with these people is not only about squeeing together about the things that make us happy, but also about discussing the things that make us unhappy, trying to find a new perspective that makes those things more tolerable. You can only ever do that with like-minded people; it's basically impossible with people with whom you have to argue about your fannish framework first.

[francy_m79]

Yeah, you are right... with people with opposite views you just end up arguing and getting angry for nothing...

I already don't engage, though... I have to learn to stop reading too!!! ;)