a rose by any other name

[framefolly]

Okay. Today I'm going to post something snarky and petty, just to get it off my chest. I'm going to start a new tag for it, "stranger in a familiar land." It's about living as an Asian, specifically Chinese-American, in America.

I cannot count the number of times I have had this exact conversation. I roughly estimate that it happens at least once a

Comments

[thisficklemob]

I don't even try saying hello in Chinese -- I've been scared off by hilarious mistakes in meaning by the wrong inflection. A Japanese name, since I lived in Japan as a kid, I might try. I can see someone who was studying Chinese attempting to learn a Chinese name properly, but that's a bit different.

The part that makes me wince is I'm sure none of these PNPs have the slightest idea that this is a recurring conversational dance for you... if it happened once, it wouldn't be such an annoyance, I'm sure.

*adds to list of things not to do* ;)

P.S.

[thisficklemob]

I wasn't meaning to excuse them, btw. Just feeling unnecessary embarrassment empathy, as I do when I watch sitcoms.

I always think it's a bit messed up that people want to know the meaning of certain names, Asian and Native American ones in particular. (You don't see people asking, "What does Juan mean?" "John.") Sure, perhaps the meanings are a bit closer to the surface if the syllables literally mean something in the same language, but we don't expect people named Rebecca to explain that Rebecca means "to bind" in Hebrew, or people named Juan to explain that it means "God's grace".

Re: P.S.

[framefolly]

Oh lord! I have such a love/hate relationship with cringe humor! And now that I see it in this lens, I'll probably have more fun ;) Thanks for giving me that image.

You're SO right about the "what does your name mean?" thing! Even when the names do mean something -- is someone called Hope necessarily an optimist? Names tell us more about what a person's parents were thinking than about the person herself directly. It's interesting information, but only of secondary relevance.

Re: P.S.

[thisficklemob]

I have mostly a hate/cringe relationship with cringe humor -- especially when I feel like people should be embarrassed/ashamed but aren't. Like, hide! Hide, you fools!

Heh. I always felt it was mean to name your child a recognizable noun or adjective -- it's such pressure! And it just makes it worse when Grace is a klutz, or Hope is a pessimist.

Don't even get me started on naming, though; I could rant and rant. *g*

[framefolly]

I don't mind it (anymore) when someone tries to say common pleasantries (hello, thank you, goodbye, etc.) in Chinese. They're trying to be multi-cultural, and I can respect that. It's when they're trying to say my name that I get irked.

The fear that one would say something quite different from what one means due to mistaken inflections is 95% unfounded. Just as it's statistically unlikely for someone to create real English words by picking random letters from a Scrabble bag (not to mention constructing meaningful phrases), usually mistakes are just confusing -- I have no idea what someone is trying to say.

And you're absolutely right -- I think the first 30 times I had this conversation I even admired the effort a little. Now I just need to remember really hard not to overreact.

And the thing is, different people probably have very different reactions -- so maybe a different Chinese-American would welcome this conversation!

Thanks :)

[thisficklemob]

True. But friends of ours who lived in China when I was a kid told stories about things they'd accidentally said, and it worried me. Cuz I'm a worrier. (I also know my ability to hear unfamiliar sounds, or even familiar sounds in unfamiliar contexts, has gone waaay down.)