echoes from an unknown past....
How's that for a deep subject line? Well, it sounds an awful like a line from my high school poetry. hehe
I was just going through some boxes and found a little journal of mine from my formative years in which I used to write poetry, make little drawings, jot down thoughts, etc. It really was a trip down memory lane. Reading some of the "poems", I actually couldn't even remember who half of them were about. Then there were those others.... those ghosts who I'd forgotten about. And tucked inside the back cover was a little note with a sad face on the front that read "I'm sorry... so sorry -- Dear Bryan, I'm so sorry that I was rude and hurt your feelings. The reason I pick on you is because I think you're cool and thought you didn't mind. I'm sorry... so sorry. <3Tim"
Hehe... I'd forgotten about Tim. Silly silly Tim who was always an enigma to me in high school and who took up so much of my valuable thought processing time. I had "creative drama" class with Tim (drama was really just a class in which we improved funny little skits and all received an easy A) and Shara. Shara was convinced that Tim was gay and in love with me... There were rumours, but no one seemed to know, and he never really gave me anything to go on. I mean... I SO made it obvious to this boy that I was emphatuated with him, but all he did was flirt. Nothing else. This sort of behaviour provoked such thought-provoking poetry as the intriguing "Fuck You Tim" and the ever-thought-provoking "Orange Gloves". Anyhoo... I still remember senior year when I was dating Andrew, and found out from a good friend of Tim's that he was "in love" with me for the longest time. It kind of threw me into a bit of a spin in which I questioned whether I should stay with Andrew or take the chance of visiting the past. Needless to say, I didn't chose Tim.... But, well... aren't memories like this funny? I mean, we've all had unfulfilled crushes and actual relationships... but why is it that sometimes the silly little crushes stick with you more than some of the serious relationships? Is it because we know how the relationships ended, but aren't so sure about what COULD'VE happened had the crushes ever come to fruition? We wonder to ourselves, and write out our own little screenplays about what we are convinced WOULD have happened.
Needless to say, being the constant nostalgist that I am, I looked Tim up on Myspace. I found him. he's still living in Mt. Laurel. I was too chicken (just like the old days) to message him and see how he's doing... for fear that he'd not have the slightest idea who I was, which would destroy my picture of him pining away the hours for me back in high school. Hahaha. I think I might just send him a message though.
Here's hoping that all of those crushes from years ago have found their happy ending too. Thank god I'm not still sitting in the room of my parents house penning sorrowful sonnets for some unattainable boy.
P.S. Since this is livejournal, and I should technically write about my day... here's a quick rundown.
1- Woke up
2- Tried to do a wash
3- Discovered the washer was leaking onto the floor
4- Emptied the wash into the dryer
5- Lostall motivation to clean the apartment... although I'm looking for it. Maybe in an effort to find it under some pile of clothes somewhere, the apartment will get cleaned!
I was just going through some boxes and found a little journal of mine from my formative years in which I used to write poetry, make little drawings, jot down thoughts, etc. It really was a trip down memory lane. Reading some of the "poems", I actually couldn't even remember who half of them were about. Then there were those others.... those ghosts who I'd forgotten about. And tucked inside the back cover was a little note with a sad face on the front that read "I'm sorry... so sorry -- Dear Bryan, I'm so sorry that I was rude and hurt your feelings. The reason I pick on you is because I think you're cool and thought you didn't mind. I'm sorry... so sorry. <3Tim"
Hehe... I'd forgotten about Tim. Silly silly Tim who was always an enigma to me in high school and who took up so much of my valuable thought processing time. I had "creative drama" class with Tim (drama was really just a class in which we improved funny little skits and all received an easy A) and Shara. Shara was convinced that Tim was gay and in love with me... There were rumours, but no one seemed to know, and he never really gave me anything to go on. I mean... I SO made it obvious to this boy that I was emphatuated with him, but all he did was flirt. Nothing else. This sort of behaviour provoked such thought-provoking poetry as the intriguing "Fuck You Tim" and the ever-thought-provoking "Orange Gloves". Anyhoo... I still remember senior year when I was dating Andrew, and found out from a good friend of Tim's that he was "in love" with me for the longest time. It kind of threw me into a bit of a spin in which I questioned whether I should stay with Andrew or take the chance of visiting the past. Needless to say, I didn't chose Tim.... But, well... aren't memories like this funny? I mean, we've all had unfulfilled crushes and actual relationships... but why is it that sometimes the silly little crushes stick with you more than some of the serious relationships? Is it because we know how the relationships ended, but aren't so sure about what COULD'VE happened had the crushes ever come to fruition? We wonder to ourselves, and write out our own little screenplays about what we are convinced WOULD have happened.
Needless to say, being the constant nostalgist that I am, I looked Tim up on Myspace. I found him. he's still living in Mt. Laurel. I was too chicken (just like the old days) to message him and see how he's doing... for fear that he'd not have the slightest idea who I was, which would destroy my picture of him pining away the hours for me back in high school. Hahaha. I think I might just send him a message though.
Here's hoping that all of those crushes from years ago have found their happy ending too. Thank god I'm not still sitting in the room of my parents house penning sorrowful sonnets for some unattainable boy.
P.S. Since this is livejournal, and I should technically write about my day... here's a quick rundown.
1- Woke up
2- Tried to do a wash
3- Discovered the washer was leaking onto the floor
4- Emptied the wash into the dryer
5- Lostall motivation to clean the apartment... although I'm looking for it. Maybe in an effort to find it under some pile of clothes somewhere, the apartment will get cleaned!