"If only I don't bend and break..."

[fragilest]

Today is the day, my friends. The day I find roll my fat ass over to the gym. I swear... If I don't actually do it, I might hate myself forever. I woke up to get my shower this morning and looked in the mirror and thought to myself "I know 40something year old men who look better than I do". And that, my friends, is a sad sad self-realization to come to. So, my feeling is, how can I live up to my true fabulousness if I'm constantly self-conscious about my flabby build? I'm not saying looks are all that matter.... nor am I saying I want to do this for anyone else. Brett has loved the thinner and the heftier me, and he's still here. All I'm saying is, I want to feel better about myself. I want to go to a store and just pick up whatever outfit I like without having to worry about how much it might cling to my blubbery midsection, or whether the pants will fit comfortably. So yes. This is it.

Now watch me find an excuse during my three hour break between classes NOT to go. Hahahahaha.

NO! NO I WON'T!!!!!!!

(this is my internal dialogue)