....pop something to me
Last week my friend (and I say that lightly, since in all reality I barely know him) had a going away party. We both started work together at the same time this summer and now it was time for him to go back to school out of state. We really hit it off, he was really funny and made work a fun place to be. It seems like the people I can actually connect with always seem to be short term, and always end up leaving. I was really sad that he was leaving and so I agreed to go to this "party" which more or less turned out to be a get together of all his friends that I have never met before. This would be ok for a normal person, but for someone like me, that has trouble socializing, it was a nervous nightmare. As I sat there silently on his sofa I realized three things. One, I did not belong here and should of stayed at home, two, how much we truly did not know each other outside of work (we must have been kidding ourselves) and three how unable I really am. I wondered, how is it that a person can acquire so many friends? And why does everyone I meet have better furniture than us?
Anyways, this summer I can say that I did meet a personal goal that I really thought was unreachable - I lost 50 pounds. I hope I continue to loose. I want so much to be able to look in a mirror or take a picture and at least see something looking back at me that I can be approving of. This week at work I am being trained in projection. I think I really will like it. I also started taking a herbal supplement called st. johns wort, I was told that it is supposed to help with anxiety and depression. I hope this will take the edge off somethings at work and at school. Training has been sort of nerve racking - I am not good at one on one interaction, especially with cute strangers. I find myself always searching for something to say, trying to prevent that ackward silence....and then when I have something to say im constantly telling myself how stupid I would sound if I said it. If there was such thing as a happy pill that could completely change my personality I would take it.
Anyways, this summer I can say that I did meet a personal goal that I really thought was unreachable - I lost 50 pounds. I hope I continue to loose. I want so much to be able to look in a mirror or take a picture and at least see something looking back at me that I can be approving of. This week at work I am being trained in projection. I think I really will like it. I also started taking a herbal supplement called st. johns wort, I was told that it is supposed to help with anxiety and depression. I hope this will take the edge off somethings at work and at school. Training has been sort of nerve racking - I am not good at one on one interaction, especially with cute strangers. I find myself always searching for something to say, trying to prevent that ackward silence....and then when I have something to say im constantly telling myself how stupid I would sound if I said it. If there was such thing as a happy pill that could completely change my personality I would take it.