(no subject)
friday night heather came up. we had some munchies and smirnoff twisted mandarin orange (our favorite drink <3). we helped my mom make this homemade chicken wing dip. it had hot sauce, bleu cheese dressing, cream cheese, chicken pieces, and monterey jack cheese, and we had nacho chips and celery for dippers. a little bit after she left, billy and beth stopped by after jr./sr. they had a good time apparently, i regret not going. beth had to be home so she left but billy stayed pretty late (oh say 5 a.m.). and jesus he wouldn't stop at anything to keep me from going to bed. we smoked a bowl, i must of taken 20 hits and it honestly didn't effect me at all. for some reason it never does. it sure effects billy though. he wanted to go out on my porch roof, so he tried getting out the window in our front bedroom, but it was frozen shut so he went out my parents' bedroom window. then he came back in after about a minute and just threw snow all over the house and laughed.
saturday heather came over again and we exchanged christmas prezzies, ate cookies and watched movies. she got me this little pink candle, a little pink pretty princess logo purse with hair ties, a necklace with pink danglies, and a pink sequin thong, hehe. i got her this adorable stuffed snowman dressed in pink snowflake clothes and 2 candles, one blue with white snowflake print and one white with blue snowflake print. we had been plaza-ing about a month earlier and she fell in love with them the second she saw them, so i went right down the next day and bought them while they were still there.
sunday afternoon i went sledding at jcc with heather and justin. heather came up around 3 while i was finishing my laundry and we bundled up. we both wore 3 layers of socks, boots, 2 pairs of sweatpants, 2 sweaters, a hat, coat, and 2 pairs of gloves. nothing really matched either. we looked like such dorks. justin's dad took us and picked us up. we stopped at dollar general on the way and picked up an extra sled, heather only had one but it was a 2-person. when we got there we had to clean it out a bit with snow too, it was covered with leaves and junk from being on her porch all year. ah, sledding rocks my world. justin fell off the saucer quite a few times, that baby flies. heather went down on it a couple times, the whole way down screaming shit and fuck, haha. heather and i went down on the 2-person sled together, it ended up turning backwards and we fell off and cracked our heads on the ground, she almost kicked me in the face and i had muddy footprints on my pants from her boots, haha. we were only there for about an hour, the snow soaked right through my gloves and i thought i was getting frost bite. we went out for a bite to eat on the way back, then her dad dropped heather and me off at my house and heather walked from there.
i shouldn't of even bothered trying to get to school monday. it was 20 below zero for christ's sake, schools should have been cold under the circumstances of bitter cold temperatures. that fat fuck raymond fashano won't close the schools for anything. i also think we should get this whole week for christmas vacation. people have to travel. and there's really no point in going just to sit there, do nothing and suck on candy canes all period every period. i also think delays are useless. going in an hour and a half later isn't going to make a difference. jamestown's tax base is kinda drained and there's not enough money in the budget for quality snow plow equipment and extra drivers. so if my mom/myself feel the weather is too bad and school should have been cancelled, i'm not going to make an effort to try and get there and risk getting in an accident because the superintendents are so determined to make us go as much as they can. they can kiss my ass <3.
i went malling with beth this evening. she's such a nice girl and she always has a big smile on her face and that makes me =). we were going to do some more christmas shopping, i bought for beth (the other beth). i wrapped it up and we're mailing it out tomorrow along with a christmas card for her and her family, with rush delivery so hopefully she'll get it on time for christmas, and i hope she likes it <3. it was impossible to find a parking spot, she drove around for 10 minutes just trying to find a spot! we had so much fun shopping, we were laughing the whole time. we were pissed, we saw so many things we wanted to buy but we have to wait until we have our christmas money. we were there for about 2 1/2 hours then we stopped at the mickee dee's drive-thru on the way back and got some fries and vanilla milkshakes.
my dad was admitted to rehab last wednesday, he's going to be there for 10 days. so i hope he enjoys rotting in there on christmas day. probably better he's there, otherwise i'm sure he'll ruin christmas eve dinner at my grandma and grandpa's by being drunk. my grandpa stopped by to pick up his things, we had to gather some clothes for him so we sent a pair of jeans with holes in them and this really huge slush puppie shirt i won in lunch with a dorky looking dog on it, haha. i guess my mom just decided to get a seperation, so when he gets out he's going to have to stay at a friend's house or something for awhile. i think i've been stressed about it, i've been getting such unbalanced mood swings lately. i just snap at people with little reason to do so. especially billy. and i'm lucky to have such a great friend as him who sticks by me no matter what and i don't seem to appreciate it, so i really don't deserve to have such great friends. he says he understands i'm upset, but i still insist it's no reason to treat people like shit.
i'm trying my best to deal with everything, i know a painful reality is a necessity to be free. but what happens when pain exceeds the only resources you have for coping with pain?
i also learned the pain is necessary to really appreciate the good things that occur in your life. if things were great all the time, we would have no reason to appreciate them when we're lucky enough to experience them. and there's no sense in worrying your life away, what happens happens and what doesn't happen doesn't happen. and the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best out of everything that comes their way. <3